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Primary education

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Original poster

Ex partner contesting school as RI

34 replies

rainbowdash24 · 27/07/2016 10:31

Ex partner is 1.5hrs away & it was agreed last year that she would school with me.

She didn't get the school id like around here so we have decided to move closer to family on new partners side & also to child's father (closer by 30 mins) so that we do it before school year starts. Quick summer move!

However the school we've been allocated is RI & now her father is not happy & is going to take me to court as he wants child to move to him & school with him at outstanding school.

However we also know that she's number 1 and number 2 on waiting lists at two other schools near me, that are both rated Good. So hopefully she'll get a place & all of this can go away! But also maybe not as waiting lists might not move!

Anyone have experience of this?! If so, what's your thoughts?

We currently have a flexible arrangement as she's not at school so can each spend more time with her. It's about 60% me, 40% him.

OP posts:
admission · 27/07/2016 11:57

The thing that father is not thinking about is the real possibility that daughter will not get a place at an outstanding school near to him. As an outstanding school it will probably be full and also restricted by the infant class size regs. As such the chances of getting a place at the school are practically nil.
That of course assumes that he was successful in getting a court to agree that child lives with him. That is also not a given by any stretch of the imagination.

Original poster
rainbowdash24 · 27/07/2016 12:09

He says he's contacted & there's space..

OP posts:
Missgraeme · 27/07/2016 12:12

In the same token he can't accept a place for her without your say so..... What does your daughter see is where she would like to be??

Coconut0il · 27/07/2016 12:18

Ofsted reports are worth a read but I wouldn't completely rule out a Requires Improvement school. Could you persuade him to wait a while and look round the schools to get a feel for them? He may prefer your choice? I know this is harder as your daughter will have to start then maybe move. I would not make a decision on an ofsted report alone.

Original poster
rainbowdash24 · 27/07/2016 12:21

I've suggested waiting but he's not entertaining it

OP posts:
Original poster
rainbowdash24 · 27/07/2016 12:22

I've suggested waiting but he's not entertaining it

OP posts:
KittyandTeal · 27/07/2016 12:26

This is why ofsted is utter shit and bollocks.

I've taught in some outstanding schools that I would never consider sending my own child to. I have also taught in a school during the R.I time (then special measures) and it's time improving to 'good'. That school I would happily send my child to, even during the R.I period.

Ofsted ratings tell you very little about the actual school. Ofsted reports even less in my experience and professional opinion. I've read reports done at schools I've been teaching in and I wouldn't recognise the school I know from the reports.

It's not a reason to move your child.

JudyCoolibar · 27/07/2016 12:35

Check for yourself whether the outstanding school does have a space. I agree that the fact that a school is RI shouldn't be the only factor - after all, there will still be hundreds of children attending it and no-one could argue that all their parents are unfit parents just for sending them there. A court would take into account many other factors including in particular the capacity of your daughter's father to parent her properly, and her own wishes.

If she's no. 1 on another school waiting list you stand a pretty good chance of getting her in anyway, as with any luck at least one family will move over the summer.

Original poster
rainbowdash24 · 27/07/2016 12:55

He would be able to parent her properly and so would I.. We're pretty even.

I've just given up work to be sahm, he's a teacher.

It feels slightly better for me to be resident parent as I can do all school runs whereas he'll be at work & it will be his other family members taking her.

But its tricky one to call

I feel bad as she has a chance of outstanding school with him & ri school wth me, is my selfishness stopping her from having the best education?!

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MeMySonAndl · 27/07/2016 13:35

Difficult one. There are more factors to consider than the school though. If you both agree that is better for her to be with you most of the time, surely one year in a school RI is not the end of the world? (I'm assuming that a place in the better school will become available this or next year, but... Obviously, nothing is written in stone).

I was going to suggest for her moving to dad's while a place becomes available in the school near you. But it will be practically impossible to move your girl again once she is settled with her dad and school unless not Dad and you agree to it :-(

If it is going to court, just focus on non agreeing to anything until it is fully guaranteed that your girl HAS a place in the nice school near him.

sleeponeday · 27/07/2016 20:38

As a teacher he must know OFSTED can be an absolute crock of shite. Has he visited the RI school? If not, why not suggest it? And conversely, has he visited the Outstanding one?

I would also second the suggestion of calling the Outstanding and asking about places. I've just never heard of one with free places floating around in Reception at this time of year with birth rates what they are right now. There's a huge shortage of primary places all over, right now. Your ex may be a tad optimistic in his belief she would get in without difficulty.

sleeponeday · 27/07/2016 20:40

I moved my child from a horrible school to a lovely one, btw. The first had an OFSTED that looked like the Head had written it. I believe the use of independent consultants to, ahem, "check our practice" around OFSTED requirements is quite helpful there. Whether or not it's best use of limited school funds is of course a different issue.

WilliamScottsOrange · 27/07/2016 20:46

Surely it's better for a child to have a doting parent doing wrap around care then inconsistent mix mash of people. You can always agree to tutoring once she hits juniors and can do lots of reading at home to support her. Spaces at school might appear in September

WilliamScottsOrange · 27/07/2016 20:48

and actually in the early days the greatest influence on a child is the family, not the school.

WilliamScottsOrange · 27/07/2016 20:50

could you homeschool her till a place comes up? It's not like shes in her gcse year or anything. phonics and basic maths can be easily taught.

CannotEvenDeal · 27/07/2016 20:51

As a teacher he must know OFSTED can be an absolute crock of shite.

This!!!

Original poster
rainbowdash24 · 27/07/2016 22:05

Yes I'm up for home schooling

However I think he'll really flip his toys out of pram at that!

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Original poster
rainbowdash24 · 27/07/2016 22:11

And yes I think if she starts with him I'll never get her back..

Funnily enough hours school is RI also! So he knows exactly how it works

If you ask me, it's purely an opportunity for him to try & get her to live with him.

The fact that he's not even entertaining my ideas :
visiting school, chatting to parents, parent view etc.. He's just going on ofsted to try and get her to live with him.

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CannotEvenDeal · 28/07/2016 09:13

Ah! That makes sense. On what other grounds is he planning to go for residency?? Hmm

WoahSlowDown · 28/07/2016 09:30

I can see the argument for an outstanding school over an RI school. I know the ratings are everything but still.
If your DD went to the outstanding school and you had her for the rest of the time is Friday, Saturday and Sunday night wouldn't that mean you would actually end up with more time with her as she wouldn't be out at school and more fun time to boot.

I don't think the fact he would be using family members to do the school run and after school care matters at all assuming there is no specific issues.

Original poster
rainbowdash24 · 28/07/2016 18:40

Update : today got offered a place at one of the good schools so have accepted. Yipee

Told ex

No reply yet

Hope he doesn't dig heels in as it's good versus his outstanding.. Hmm

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WoahSlowDown · 28/07/2016 21:06

That's good news. 💃🏼💃🏼💃🏼💃🏼

WilliamScottsOrange · 28/07/2016 22:55

Theres not much between and outstanding and a good school.

KarmaNoMore · 29/07/2016 00:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
rainbowdash24 · 29/07/2016 02:49

He still hasn't replied.. Wonder what he's upto

Thank you all for your help and views ladies xx

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