Advise please.. Teachers questioning my 8yr son..

[Trinity3three]

My son has been questioned in school about our home life!
Do your parents argue?
Do they shout?
Do they fight?
How do they discipline you?
What make mummy and daddy angry?

My son is a happy normal 8yr old we had trouble with another child in the class and his gang (another teachers sonin the school) it was a horrible situation and I don't feel the school have dealt with it at all and now the teacher will not talk to me or my child..

Are a school allowed to ask these sort of questions and why would they..

So upset ...

Yes they are. I work as a SW in child protection and if the school called us with a concern for a child then we might ask them to speak to the child asking questions like that, to gain more context around an incident. The school have a responsibility for the welfare of your child and if they have a concern then they have the right to speak to the child and ask some questions. I would hope that the schools we deal with would ask more open questions than those though!

It's a TA that is asking. My son is really upset being asked these questions and feels scard.

If there was a concern the school would not ask what might be construed as leading questions and it's something we are strongly advised against in safeguarding training. I'd be concerned if a TA was asking such questions.

Are you in Scotland? It sounds a lot like the Named Person bollocks.....

In what context was it?

As mrz says - if there was a concern it would not generally be approached in this way. The questions are leading, and would be against safeguarding advise. They'd be far more open questions, and normally be done in a less obvious manner too.

However, the fact that is was a TA is not the concern - sometimes the TA would be the appropriate member of staff, more so than the class teacher. However, it depends on contact, way it happened, why, where, etc. as well as the role of the particular staff asking (regardless of job title.)

The fact that your son is upset means that I would, as a parent, want to ask the school what had happened and why.

I would be concerned if a TA was asking these questions just as I would be concerned if a teacher or dinner supervisor was asking them. If there is a safeguarding concern staff should not be questioning the child!

Have they been asking him one to one, or is it a class discussion thing? Are theylearning about emotions- that parents can shout, argue etc and that's ok so long as it doesn't get out of hand? I guess he could be having a one to one with the TA learning about emotions to help with the bullying?

Like Yesterday I wondered if it was a general discussion about arguments etc. Even so, I still wouldn't be asking closed questions like that, I'd be asking much more generally about the sorts of things that make people angry and how we can tell.

I would be very concerned about a one to one conversation asking those types of questions.

The questions really don't relate to bullying or dealing with peer relationships they are directed at the family situation.

Those kind of direct fairly closed questions should never be being asked if this is related to a safeguarding issue. They should be open questions to allow your son to say what he wants to say, not put words in his mouth.
It would, as others have said, be appropriate potentially for school to be trying to establish answers they might have if there were questions in their minds about home life but not in such a manner.
I think that you need to have a conversation with the head teacher, who will probably be the designated officer for safeguarding in the school. Ask them why these types of questions are being asked of your son, which has caused him upset. If you do not get a satisfactory answer then if you want to take it further then go to the designated officer in the Local Authority (quite often called the LADO) and ask tell them that you have concerns about the questions the school are asking your son, that have caused him upset. Ask them to investigate whether the school have acted appropriately.

I would be asking in school about this.. I would not be asking these questions as safeguarding.

Is it just your DS? It isn't one of those stupid government health and well being questionnaires is it?
I would be furious if it were a member of staff grilling my DC about such things.YANBU

Hope you and your child got everything sorted!? First of all, you and your children should not be ignored by the schools. This is passive aggressive, and emotionally abusive. For anyone who is going through this personal invasion of home privacy becareful they are very skilled in speech and are very manipulative in getting children to answer questions, even if you are innoccent it's very upsetting. Home is our safe place and obviously families value our privacy and so we should, however school don't see it from a personal point of view and lack empathy, it's more duty and a job. During the pandemic my son was bullied online for not having a dad and brother. They had a discussion at school about bullying, and the teacher pulled him to one side and was asking him questions about it, that's not a concern for me, the concern is if this teacher is genuinely worried, she should have called me and we could have had a discussion. She asked if I had boyfriend's, I dated 1 in ten years and left him after i introduced him to my son, because my son didn't like him and I could sense their relationship wouldn't be good. Now is really inappropriate? When we register our children in schools, we give consent and sometimes harrassment comes in to play unfortunately. Write everything down, speak to the teacher and point out what they are doing wrong and offer to work with them to come up with a solution, if all fails move schools or homeschool. All you have to do is deregister! Hope it's sorted and your family is blessed. X

I imagine the OP has sorted it by now, @Waterfall198 - it's four years on, so he won't even be at primary school any more.

My son came home from school today saying he told his teacher a "story" which he has told this story to me vefore hand and I'm just concerned that the way ots been said to the school it would raise concerns they haven't mentioned this to me but I'm losing sleep thinking my son (who is 5)will be put in a position to be questioned he is currently being tested for ADHD also and I'm unsure weather.to bring this up with the school personally because he has a bad habit of making things up ALOT and he tell dreams in a way that is real just looking for some advice