Any good jokes for P1?

[abigail12]

Anyone got any good jokes suitable for 5 year old to tell at school show? He's still at the making nonsense up stage (eg what do you call a blue banana? A chicken!) and thinking he's hilarious so need something slightly better to give him.

Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because it wasn't peeling very well.

My ds (similar age) thinks this is hilarious...

What's yellow and dangerous?
Shark infested custard.

The best joke EVER

Why do elephants paint their toenails red?
To hide in the strawberry bed.

What do you get when you cross a sheep with a kangaroo?
A woolly jumper.

What's the difference between an elephant and a postbox?
Well, if you don't know I'm not going to send you to post a letter.

What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence?
Time to build a new fence.

What is brown, yellow and hairy?
Cheese on toast dropped on the floor

What's brown and sticky?
A stick!

What's red and invisible?
No tomatoes!

Why are pirates called pirates?

They just aaarghh!

What do you call a dinosaur with no eyes?
Doyouthinkysaurus (do you think he saw us)

What goes baa woof baa woof?
A sheepdog.

Where do baby apes sleep?
In an apricot.

Knock knock
Who's there
Cows Go
Cows Go Who?
NO! Cows Go MOO!

Knock knock
Who's there
The Interrupting Cow
The Interruptin...
MOOOOOOOO!

Knock knock
Who's there?
Boo.
Boo who?
No need to cry it's only me.

Knock knock
Who's there?
Atch
Atch who?
Bless you!

Is the joke my p1 told today to his class.

Why was the sand wet?
Because the sea weed!

Knock knock
Who's there?
I dunnup
I dunnup who?
Ewwww!

That may be a little bit blue for P1 but it's very funny

Excellent, thanks, I'll run them by him into morning, got a feeling the banana and the dunnup who jokes will go down well...maybe keep the second one out of the school show though!

How do you make tissue dance?
Put a little boogie in it!

DS4's current favourite is

What's blue and smells like red paint?
Blue paint

He thinks it's hilarious

What do you find up a clean nose?
Fingerprints!!!!

The interrupting cow one is considered to be absolutely hilarious by all children ime

You can keep a child of the right age entertained for literally hours by substituting the:
Interrupting chicken
Interrupting horse
Interrupting dinosaur
Interrupting tiger
Interrupting sheep
Interrupting pig
Interrupting rooster
Interrupting cat
Interrupting wolf
Interrupting giraffe
Interrupting dog
Interrupting duck
Etc etc etc

What do you get if an elephant sits on batman and robin?

Flatman and Ribbon

Knock knock
Who's there?
Europe
Europe who?
Did you just call me a POO? (sound outraged) :o

Want to hear the Joke about Butter?
No I can't tell you, you might spread it!

They're slightly older than P1 but my nephews love:

Some toilets have been stolen from Scotland Yard. Police have nothing to go on.

What do cannibals do at a wedding?
Toast the bride.

Why did the cannibal come back from his holiday missing an arm and a leg?
He went self catering.

My favourite joke when DS was young still is tbh was...... Can I have a drum roll please?

What do you call a fish with no eyes?

FSH!!

Boom tish!!!

Thank you, I'm here all week!

Thanks some of these have been crackers. My DDs favourite joke at the moment is Why can you not give elsa a balloon? Because she would just "Let it go!"

Some of these are favourites of my just turned 4... especially the Europe who...

At the moment she makes her own ones

knock knock
who's there?
the fish ran away with the... baby

(and a whole variation of the fish ran away with...)

Hilarious if you are her...

The why did the chicken cross the road one is also a fave