not happy with school - not sure what to do

[Jane1970]

DS started reception in September and there are a number of things that are concerning me and I'm not sure if I am just over reacting or do I need to do something. For instance

• in Nov at pick up time teacher casually ask me in the class and says DS has development delays and we need to sign A form to get a specialist in. These problems were - he asked a few times where to sit - often forgot 1 of his 3 items at the end of the day.

• went to parent evening and teacher couldn't explain to me what exactly was the problem, who the specialist was - etc and just kept saying they wanted me to sign the form and I should speak to senco.

• to cut a long story short I signed The form. A specialist came in and spoke to me on the phone after their assessment - they don't feel there were any issues. Have called the school to ask their thoughts on report and if I can have a meeting to discuss - I keep getting fobbed off.

-DS really struggling with noise level and one teacher (he has two). I keep telling the school he has problems adjusting sometimes and it takes him time to settle in - they have paid no attention to this. DS showing extreme anxiety about school - crying every morning and night, waking up screaming - again school dismissive and still not had a chance to go in and speak about all this.

• now getting reading books home and through my research have noticed DS on reading recovery books - have no problem with this but wish I'd been kept in the loop.

I'm now at the stage where I wonder if it's the right school for him - should I look at moving him or am I just panicking. I really don't feel like the school wants to work with parents to help child and feel totally left in the dark on what is going on.

Sorry for long post but any help/advice would be much appreciated.

Has his hearing been tested and his eyesight? Could be affecting re thr noise levels and the not seeing his items etc

Thanks for reply - sight is fine. Hearing is to be re-done as didn't pass in one ear. I'm waiting to hear back before I ask to meet with school again as I realise this could be the problem.

The problem in struggling with is the school itself - it seems have no regard for parents - they don't seem to want to work with me to help DS.

Should I more insistent that the school keeps me informed on what is going on?

Well I think I would speed up the hearing test.
And you say you haven't had time to go in and talk about all this, but if your child is waking up screaming and crying every night and morning would it not be possible to make the time? Perhaps bump it up the priorities? Ask for a meeting with the senco and teacher and be clear on the outcomes you are lookiNg for. 'What I want to happen is xyz'

Sorry maybe I haven't made myself clear - I want to go in - I've have phoned the school on many occasions it's them that don't have the time to meet not me. My sons happiness etc is my one and only priority

Oh sorry! If they won't meet you, you may need to be very assertive. Ask for a meeting wi head of not possible red to governors

Crikey, I am shocked at a school that can't make time to meet a parent - it's usually in their published communication policy - can you check what their policy is?

I'd be shocked anyway, but even more so if they are telling you it's not plain sailing for him and then to another level again if he is getting distressed about going to school.

Moving schools is a pretty big decision and you don't want go get out of the frying pan into the fire so it's worth being very clear about your concerns and getting it in writing from them that they are not prepared to arrange a mutually convenient meeting time to go through the issues. And research any proposed new school very carefully.

I actually find it hard to believe they would refuse to meet with a parent, provided you are being reasonable e.g. you don't expect teacher to stop for a chat just as class is going in.

Thanks for replies. Think I will call again - I was waiting to see about hearing test results but might ask for a chat anyway.

I would insist with a meeting. If the teacher is fobbing you off then escalate to the HT. You should always be able to go in and see your childs teacher within a reasonable timeframe.

I felt like you did and decided to move my ds to a different school. It was a huge risk because ds and I could have been even more unhappy with the new school. We were really lucky because the new school is so ,much better. They are really great at communicating with parents and ds is a million times happier. I did try to sort things out with his old school and had lots of meetings with them but they were never going to change. They did not want to include parents.

Could you look at some other schools in your area? You should definitely speak to the head teacher and let her know that you are having problems arranging a meeting.

Maybe you should speak to the senco because your ds is so anxious.

You are right to have concerns. Our school would respond to emails the same day on any issues and arrange a mtg asap if either side wanted it

I should say our school is massive (700+) kids 3-11 and yet we would get a totally different experience in this situation

I think it really depends how many times you have contacted asking for a meeting etc to be honest. Imagine if as they were on the phone to you that one time another child was brought to the office injured or throwing up, the person on the phone to you would have been naturally distracted and would have rushed off to deal with that once off the phone from you, or they wrote a note and it got caught up in a pile of something else and mislaid. It isn't an excuse but school offices are extremely busy. It actually sounds to me like they noticed a problem very early on and wanted to try and help and suggested you spoke to the SENCO about it.

If I want to meet with a teacher, unless it is a quick question at the end of the day or before school, then I send in a letter requesting an opportunity to chat to them, I would put if there was a restriction on when I was available (such as working hours or something) or say before school would be better or they could call me or something like that so that they can then arrange a time.

reading recovery books doesn't mean anything. A lot of schools have a mix of reading books in the boxes, some will be different reading schemes, some schools follow reading recovery levels as standard levels to avoid having numerous different systems on the go. ours had books marked up as wrong levels because they were old ones, we had lots of look and say books from my childhood days as well as newer ones. complete mix.

I think given you were waiting for results to come through before meeting and they perhaps misunderstood or lost a message then you should send in a letter stating where you are with things at the moment, what the concerns are roughly and that you would like to schedule a meeting as soon as possible to discuss the next step with regards to helping your child.

You can either ask to meet with the teacher or the SENCO, depends on who you think would be better placed to deal with it. You might be lucky and get to see both together but that would be harder to schedule so perhaps pick one or the other first and then meet with the other one on a different day.

Go with your gut and move schools. he's still young enough for it to not be a big up heavenly if done right. be super sure of your next scjool though. At least you know all the right questions to ask now