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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

How is your reception child coping?

30 replies

Luna9 · 12/01/2016 20:36

My dd is turning 5 this month; she started reception last September; over the last 2 months we seem to be having meltdowns once or twice per day; when she gets upset about something she just goes on and on an on with the I don't like her; I don't love her thing. I really don't know what to do; I normally look forward to go home but today I have been dreading bed time and stayed late with the hope kids will be sleeping when I get home. When she is happy she is great to have around and very helpful but she is a very sensitive child and have very strong emotions when she gets upset and I am finding it difficult to deal with the meltdowns.

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sh77 · 13/01/2016 14:45

Ds is a March baby. Settled better than expected but has had two huge meltdowns in the past week. I put it down to tiredness, over stimulation and having to hold a lot in at school. Do you have any other concerns? Are there any other emotional /behavioural issues? What have school said?

suitcaseofdreams · 13/01/2016 20:16

Mine (twins) turn 5 in March and are up and down. Christmas holidays definitely unsettling and they have struggled to get back to routine (as have I if I am honest)
Mine seem to mostly love school itself but are struggling with the 3 days a week that I work as they have breakfast club/childminder which makes for long days (previously did same long days at childminder but didn't seem to be so stressful for some reason)
I have one more sensitive one who def finds it harder than the other - he is more prone to tantrums and meltdowns and I think much of this is over tiredness and having to 'behave' all day - when he gets home he just lets it all out - and I bear the brunt of it

Maybe have a chat with teacher to see if any issues (although would hope if there were the teacher would already have raised this with you) and otherwise I think its just a case of lots of sleep, hugs and hopefully they will all settle down again soon!

OneTruffleTooMany · 13/01/2016 20:19

My dd is the same age, we've had several occasions recently where after eventually telling her off after repeated naughtiness, she's stomped upstairs shouting "nobody likes me at school","everybody thinks I'm stupid" and the like before bursting into tears and having a big cry :(

It's definitely not the kind of thing she hears at home, is well settled at school and making plenty friends, so as sh77 said I think it's mainly tiredness & holding stuff in, but also lacking a bit of self-confidence whilst becoming more self/socially aware.

Artandco · 13/01/2016 20:24

He's ok. He isn't 5 until the summer so younger than many so does get tired. He's been having naps at the weekend and sometimes has a short 30 min nap after school.

Boredofthinkingofnewnames · 13/01/2016 20:35

My twins are August born, and weren't actually due until the October so should technically be in the next years intake.

They love school and are doing really well but my god they are exhausted. 5-7pm is a nightmare.

They are sleeping badly at the minute too which is I'm sure linked to over tiredness.

They are by all account angelic in school and save the nightmare behaviours for at home.

Boredofthinkingofnewnames · 13/01/2016 20:36

Art - can you get him to bed if he naps? Mine try but I don't let them as that could mean a 9pm bedtime and then they're still not getting enough sleep?!

Artandco · 13/01/2016 20:46

Yep. But we have never had earlier than 9pm bedtime. We don't get home until 7pm and then they have to eat/ homework/ bath before bed.

They finish 3.35pm, ( eldest is a year older) I usually collect and bring to my office by 4pm. So he usually naps say 4-4.45pm whilst they both rest with a story tape quietly on sofa. He sleeps 9pm-8am overnight

Artandco · 13/01/2016 20:48

Oh and I couldn't cope with nightmare 5-7pm as 5-6.30pm I'm finishing up work and then 6.30-7pm they need to walk home, so it's easier to just let them rest or nap and then a more relaxed evening with later than some bedtime. This way they rest/ nap/ story tape an hour, then play quietly and hour or so together rather than moan

Boredofthinkingofnewnames · 13/01/2016 21:04

It's awkward isn't it - I get up for work at 6 and that Wales my two up so if they went to bed later they still wouldn't get enough sleep!

Artandco · 13/01/2016 21:09

Can you just let them rest rather than nap a while? Lay them of sofa and blanket as soon as home, with a warm drink and a story tape and a pile of books. Means everyone can adjust to being home without having small talk and stuff to do the first half hour or so. Then after story tape they can play/ homework/ eat etc. Might give them an hours boost.

firefly78 · 13/01/2016 21:09

mine is 5 in june. hes found it hard going back after Xmas. hes tired and uncooperative this week.

Bounced · 13/01/2016 21:12

Mine is having two hour naps at the weekend. It's weird, she's more tired now than she was in the middle of the Autumn term - dd1 perked up a lot after the first term of YR but dd2 (who's older for year) seems if anything more tired this term. I'm aiming for very quiet weekends and in bed by 6.30 every night.

Artandco · 13/01/2016 21:19

Oh and I love the weekend naps. Usually ds2 and I the last few months snuggle up in our bed and nap together 2 hrs! Dh gets the job of teaching ds1 chess ( I know which one I prefer)

fredfredgeorgejnrsnr · 13/01/2016 21:26

6:30 !!! What time do they get up?

DD is June b'day, doing well, happy, certainly not tired ever - goes to sleep around 10pm, up at 8am refreshed. We don't do "homework", but obviously have lots of times of games and stuff, reading this and other threads certainly makes me feel very lucky, even if the 10pm sleep time means very little time to my/ourselves!

firefly78 · 13/01/2016 21:32

bed at 10pm!! i think i would cry!!!

suitcaseofdreams · 13/01/2016 21:50

Oh I would love mine to be in bed by 6.30pm but they have far too much energy for that. They go up about 7.30pm but I don't think they sleep much before 9-9.30pm although they really need to be asleep earlier as we are up at 6.45am for work 3 times a week
Have a sneaking suspicion they are over tired and can't sleep because of this but it's proving a tricky one to sort out - you can't force a child to go to sleep....and it's made harder by the two of them sharing a room and keeping each other awake playing....

MigGril · 13/01/2016 22:03

I think it's tiredness DS has been having meltdowns to recently, some of its behaviour. Some of its defiantly just to tired, he's 5 now his birthday was November and I think he's actually coping a lot better then DD did she was only 4 with a June Birthday and I remember sometimes having to put her to bed at 5.30pm she was so worn out.

But DS is still mainly coping ok with his normal 7.30pm bedtime although he did have a nap on Sunday. He really needed it but he's always been an early risers gets up at 6am no matter what time you put him to bed.

firefly78 · 13/01/2016 22:24

you are right u cant force a child to sleep. just feel sorry for u!!

GiddyOnZackHunt · 13/01/2016 22:29

Oh this is interesting. DS has been a flipping horror after school since he went back. We had 5 timeouts in 2 hours the other day.

EverySecondCounts · 13/01/2016 22:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Iwanttobeadog · 13/01/2016 22:43

See if you can get the secret life of a 4 year old on catch up, it was on bbc a few months ago. It followed a group of reception age children and really opened my eyes to the rollercoaster of emotions and barrage of new experiences they're dealing with constantly once they get to school. It made me realise how exhausting it must be for them, like being in a new job in a foreign language every day.

slkk · 13/01/2016 22:43

Ds has SEN so has his moments but is definitely tired. We try and start bedtime any time after 6 so usually asleep between 6:30 and 7. Needs about 13 hours a night. Is finding social aspects of school hard but really loves his phonics and playing at being a teacher.

Flumplet · 13/01/2016 22:44

My ds will be 5 in July. He's been bloody remarkable if I'm honest, taking it all in his stride. He works hard and is making excellent progress, especially with reading.

He gets more tired as the week goes on (especially on a Wednesday which is p.e day) but doesn't nap anymore. He does quiet activities when he gets home and gets a second wind of craziness just after tea time.

He's a great, laid back and fun loving kid I really couldn't be more proud.

slkk · 13/01/2016 22:45

Yes and as ds has severe language delay, it must be even more exhausting. No wonder he sleeps so much (not complaining about that).

Serendipitystardust1 · 13/01/2016 22:47

My DD - also 5 this month settled amazingly and seemed to be coping really well but the week before Xmas holidays she would have a breakdown at the slightest thing, was doing the whole 'you don't care about me' thing, slamming doors and just generally being a nightmare. About 4 days before they went back to school she started to chill out but is now back to tantrums etc. She is in bed asleep by 6.30 and sleeps until at least 7.30 and will have a nap on a Saturday, so she can't very well sleep any more but I still feel like she could do with it. So no advice but lots of sympathy - I'm hoping I'll get my happy DD back soon.

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