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Original poster

Siblings banned from Nativity plays.

35 replies

shawkeye · 03/12/2015 12:35

My daughters school advised that there will be 4 tickets only per family for the nativity play. Which would have meant that myself, her father and two siblings could attend. However, I was told today that the tickets are only for parents and grandparents and my older children; aged 11 and 12 years, are unable to attend. I was told, that this was due to fire regulations. Has anyone had any experience with this and can offer some insight, into, if siblings can be banned.
Many thanks,

OP posts:
Hersetta427 · 03/12/2015 12:44

won't they be in school when the performances are on anyway?

Our school has a 3 ticket maximum - all siblings at the school will see it at school anyway as they do a school only performance and you would take an older sibling out of school to see the show. Our school has though banned younger siblings (so pre school ages) and babies and they make too much noise you may not get to here your reception child say their 1 line!

Isthatwhatdemonsdo · 03/12/2015 14:53

I think the school can do as it pleases. Our school bans younger children. They can come on a morning when the local nursery comes to watch.

SavoyCabbage · 03/12/2015 14:57

Is the only two tickets because of fire regs or the no children? I can see why they can't issue more tickets but surely it's up to you who uses your two tickets!

GreenTomatoJam · 03/12/2015 14:59

Goodness - everyone seems to be taking it very seriously! I take it this is a secondary production, rather than an infant one?

We have 3 tickets, no-one worries about little ones (it's not like the ones in the play is going to be perfect anyway), and they'll squeeze more in if they can (3 performances)

Last year's was actually very good - I was amazed at the performance they got from a load of 4-7 year olds, so I have high hopes this year. But if a baby cries then it's not the end of the world.

balletgirlmum · 03/12/2015 14:59

Id take them anyway. At age 11 Ds was both a seasoned theatregoer & a performer (having been in professional panto & touring shows). It would have been very condescending to say she couldn't go to see her little brother perform. She has more right to see him than grandparents.

SanityClause · 03/12/2015 15:04

This seems odd, unless they are trying to stop people from bringing little one in, who can distract the performers (who may be very little, themselves.

Perhaps a "no children" rule is easier to enforce than a "no pre school children" rule?

Stillunexpected · 03/12/2015 15:10

I would ask exactly which fire regulations stipulate that your four tickets must be used by four adults, rather than two adults and two children. Will they also require the adults to undertake some kind of fitness test before entry just in case you have to evacuate the building? Wouldn't want potentially infirm grandparents holding things up! Sounds like a load of baloney to me.

SauvignonBlanche · 03/12/2015 15:12

Who told you this? Hmm

WoodHeaven · 03/12/2015 15:13

It looks odd. If it was 4 people for fire regulation issues then that's what it is, regardless on the age.

It sounds like they've had some issues with parents wanting to bring young siblings etc and have now decided on a blanket ban on children.
I'm Hmm at their explanation.

balletgirlmum · 03/12/2015 15:15

Even West End Thestres & Wedtminste council licensing allow all children over 5 (unless the content is unsuitable)

AChickenCalledKorma · 03/12/2015 16:48

Do they definitely know you are talking about older siblings, not younger siblings? If so, I'd find that quite insulting on behalf of my older child. But perhaps they've had a bad experience with restless, bored siblings.

Millymollymama · 03/12/2015 18:22

Presumably as it is a nativity play the children taking part are younger. I think the school would mean they do not expect tickets to go to siblings who are of junior/infant school age. Older siblings probably can go and as yours are older, maybe they could. I think they do not want lots of younger children having tickets but as it is a school, they are used to evacuating children! Is this not a daytime performance? If it is evening, explain your children are older.

BondJayneBond · 05/12/2015 07:25

I'm really struggling to believe the fire regulations reasoning.

How is it an issue with fire regulations if, say, 1 parent and 1 sibling go to see the play instead of 2 parents? I thought that fire regulations limited the number of people present, rather than the ages.
And if the fire regulations really did bar children under 11 from being in the school hall, then surely they'd have to cancel the play because the performers were under that age and thus breaching the fire regulations themselves? (I'm assuming this is a primary school production)

It really annoys me when places make up reasons to exclude people like this. If they're having a blanket ban on children in the audience because they've had issues with disruptive children in the audience before (most likely reason I can think of for not wanting siblings there) then they should say so, rather than falsely pretending it's because of some regulation or other.

WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeG0es · 05/12/2015 07:37

Ours (KS2, evening) bans under 12s and is limited to 2 tickets each plus up to 2 extra once if there are any left after those are all allocated. No under 12s allowed, which is a bit annoying as it splits DS's (year 7, left this year) year group many of whom have siblings still at the school. No reason given but all infants at the school will have seen it and families with pre-school children can go to the daytime dress rehearsal. I can't imagine they'll turn away any of their ex students who haven't quite turned 12 yet though.

dayslikethis · 05/12/2015 07:50

I too am baffled by the fire reg thing - it doesn't make any sense.

Whatever the reason however I'd be pretty pissed off if this was my DC'a school because for us it would mean we would only be able to use 1 of the 4 tickets allocated to us and only 1 parent could see the show - we have no grandparents anywhere near us (i.e. They all live in different countries) and we have 4 DCs who we have no babysitters for. (We actually never go out in an evening together without the kids - I'm not exaggerating for effect - we have no-one) my eldest could stay in the house by himself but not the younger three. It has been that way for us the whole time we have had kids at school so we would never have been able to go.

Bythepath · 05/12/2015 08:00

Younger siblings are not allowed to our nativity and it is 2 seats per family. Instead they are allowed to watch the dress rehearsal with the preschool the day before. It works fine. Nothing is said about older children but as ours is at 2:30pm I expect they would be in school anyway.

EdithWeston · 05/12/2015 08:14

They'll mean, by fire regulations, that they have ticketed up to the capacity of the hall. And anyone without a ticket may be refused admission (or ticket holders being turned away).

And if you'd ever seen a child who's been practising 'my line, mummy!!!!' for weeks being interrupted by a toddler (even one swiftly removed can throw performers) actually turn into a sobbing heap on a stage because their moment was disrupted and they were themselves also too young to cope better, then you'd realise why younger siblings are not universally welcomed.

Being in the audience that day was not a good experience. Led to a well-supported change in policy.

BondJayneBond · 05/12/2015 08:36

They'll mean, by fire regulations, that they have ticketed up to the capacity of the hall.

If they really meant that, then the message would have been "4 tickets per family, any siblings will need one of these tickets" rather than "tickets are only for parents and grandparents and siblings are unable to attend"

I can fully understand barring siblings, especially younger siblings, because of concerns about siblings causing disruption. But that's not what the school's saying. They're saying that tickets already allocated to a pupil's family can't be used for siblings because of fire regulations, which is nonsense.

ReallyTired · 05/12/2015 14:11

I can understand young siblings being banned especially squawky babies and toddlers. It does seem wierd to ban secondary school age children. When I opened this thread I thought it was going to be about banning screaming brats toddlers who run about and ruin the performance.

I think the school is being ridicolous. An eleven year old is no more of a fire risk than an adult.

FannyFifer · 05/12/2015 14:23

We only get two tickets per family. [shrugs]

stuffthenonsense · 05/12/2015 14:32

i hate this banning young siblings thing, are children not a part of the family? not everyone can get childcare and whilst a toddler MAY be a distraction, its not nearly so upsetting as a performer having no relative in the audience at all. when my older children were primary school aged there was no sibling barring going on, parents with young children just sat in an easy to escape from place (and because they were used to being in such environments the little ones rarely behaved badly anyway)
as for the fire risk rubbish, id call them on it and insist on seeing the document that says it.

FixItUpChappie · 05/12/2015 15:09

I think it's shameful to ban any age of child. It's a school play for FFS - what venue should be more child friendly then a school?!

families with pre-school children can go to the daytime dress rehearsal

Well, no....lots of people work during the day.

ReallyTired · 05/12/2015 17:00

"i hate this banning young siblings thing, are children not a part of the family?"

Children work very hard to put on a christmas play. Its not fair to allow the play to be ruined by some snotty nose brat squawking and running about. It is not realistic to expect a baby or a young toddler to behave. They will scream when hungry or have a dirty nappy.

My daughter's school has a good compromise of allowing toddlers to come to the dress rehearsal, but strictly banning pre schoolers from the main performance. If the parent cannot make the main performance because of childcare issues then tough.

catkind · 05/12/2015 17:20

Hmm, ours bans primary aged children or younger, but older children are allowed. Though how they would be able to go given it's during the school day I don't know! There are two performances though, so I guess you could send one parent to each if you had a preschooler and no childcare. I'd lay heavy odds the screamy babies and toddlers will be taken along anyway.

I think I'd be tempted to take them anyway, and if anyone questions it say completely deadpan "oh yes, DD is 18 and DS is 19, small aren't they".

The thing about fire regulations is bizarre. Maybe they rely on most people only using only 2 tickets to keep numbers down?

tomatotoad · 05/12/2015 18:27

Do their siblings actually want to go?