What on earth do people expect from reception?!

[Puttheheatingon]

I was very early on the playground with dd2 this morning and got talking to another reception mum. It's worth stating that I'm a little more 'experienced' as dd1 is in Y3 and I'm sure I was similarly pfb when she started.

Anyway, this mum was clearly extremely unhappy with what her dd is doing at school, in that apparently she "isn't doing anything". I didn't figure out if that was because the dc was doing the whole denial of any activity thing my dd1 still does, or if she was genuinely expecting her dd to be free reading after a month of school.

My DD2 has gone from being able to only write her name in a fashion to starting to form many more letters legibly, has started to read, is adding up numbers on her fingers, learning about new friendships while insisting she does nothing all day .

The mum reckoned that lunch is too long and they are having too many breaks.

How sad . I'm sure even in pfb overkill I was never like this. She's bonkers, right?

Is she from another country? Lunch plus a couple of breaks is fairly standard in the UK, as is play based learning in reception.

That is seriously bonkers. Reception is about play and socialising and establishing some of the basics. Both my DC go to a school that attracts a lot of these awful parents. I give them all nicknames in my head (flashcardsatbreakfast, famousfivephoto, grumpyandpushy) and avoid them like the plague.

DD is in Year 6 and it has got a bit better, most of the children have reached their natural level and there is less pushing, but the less said about the 11+ the better.......

Actually, on reflection, it has probably got better because I no longer walk DD to school rather than anything else.

long definitely from the UK.

I'm going to be giving parents nicknames from now on.

It is genuinely frightening how many parents have either never heard of or simply don't agree with the idea of 4-5yos learning through play.

It's not even like it's a new idea. My DMum trained to be a primary teacher 50 years ago and everything was about learning through play even then.

When we were applying for primary schools last year, one of the mothers from dd's nursery wanted her child to skip Reception and start Yr1 at the age of 4. She said it was because he'd done enough playing at nursery and was now ready to "sit down and do some real work".

He's currently in Reception with dd. :o

Crazy stuff. DS is in a totally free-flow, play-based Reception class but he's already way more confident with his writing, loves playing word games and number games with me, came home talking about how the last two 1s in 111 "cover up the 0s in 100", and seems to do loads of work al out by stealth!

Ha! DD was a very unwilling writer in reception - wouldn't even write her name. I asked if the teachers could push it a bit and they flatly refused saying it was play-led by the child.

I love how they pick stuff up without realising it. When she was in reception DD was off sick - lying in bed, she saw a bug on the outside of the window and started classifying it aloud methodically - "it's got six legs, so it's not a spider, etc" - and I was quite surprised. No way would she have remembered that method if she'd been made to 'sit down and do some real work' at that age! Play and fun is the way to go and I think it's a lot more effective!

I think it must be a hard thing for reception teachers to pitch right. You are going to get some children, usually the ones who are already five or close to turning five, who actually want more more formal learning and find the play based activities a bit limiting. However there are also going to be some children, again probably the ones who are only just four, who struggle to adjust to the fact that their day is more structured than it was at nursery and may not be ready for formal learning for another year. Having said that some people are just pushy.

At DDs school a girl was taken out of reception because she couldn't cope with the play based learning. From what I understood she had never been to nursery and had had school built up to her by her parents - who were eccentric academic types, the girl had never seen TV and didn't have any same age friends - as this amazing place of academia and learning. Free form play and socialising with other young children, who didn't have a clue who Shakespeare was let alone a favorite play (that's not a joke, this girl had an obsession with Shakespeare in the way that most four year olds do with Peppa Pig) was a massive culture shock to her. I think she ended up being homeschooled.

My cousin is a primary school teacher and apparently some parents complain to the teachers that the work is not hard enough for their children. She sets them higher level work and subsequently has children in tears because they can't Cope with it !

We had a parent complain in the playground about the level of work in reception last year wouldn't stop moaning I ended up avoiding them I. I knew my child was happy and was progressing well so really wasnt interested. Turned out they were complaining to other parents too

Expectations vary hugely, parents need to make sure they send their DC to the right type of school. I have been told by the teacher of a London Prep that some other London Preps have kids doing VR /NVR, maths, english exam papers every Friday form the last term of Reception onwards to get them used to what will be expected for the 7+. On the other hand, I know of parents who are perfectly satisfied if a 6 year old in year 2 can write their name, count and read CVC words. Just depends what you want out of education!

I think she should go in and teach the kids after having their breaks cut.

I'll hand out the popcorn

dd can't write yet but she has not only learnt she's remembered what she's learnt. and there was me thinking the teachers would have more luck teaching the bugs on the wall than dd

I know it's a cliche, but we live in the USA, and at that age DD was still in preschool, doing four mornings a week, completely play-based. It's the same in lots of other countries too, as I'm sure you know. Maybe try mentioning this next time a pushy parent starts moaning?

Don't be too scornful of parents asking for harder work. I have Ds complaining to me every day that the maths is too easy and the reading books are babyish and not interesting. Will he tell the teacher? He will not. So I have to be that parent and ask on his behalf. I would feel I was letting him down if not.

There's a difference though between wanting or needing harder books or pointing out that the child is ready fir something more than what they are doing (I had that issue with the books with dd1) and thinking that a 4 year old should be chained to the desk with physical evidence of the learning, and thinking they should have less breaks to fit in more "work" and not understanding the value if play.

II don't think kids any age should be chained to desks working. Ds certainly wasn't in year 1. If dd when starting school is at a stage where year 1 would be more fun for her, then I'd rather she's in year 1. It's something we'd consider.
Not really understanding the thing about breaks, no. In reception they're free flow inside and outside anyway. Breaks would mean being chucked out into the playground away from all the toys! I can well believe they'd rather not have them. Teachers probably need the break tho :)

Oh no I was taking about the woman mentioned in the op who's friend was on about the breaks being too long etc, not you

I think many parents would be amazed at the learning taking place in year R! I worked with a group in my dd's class and they helped me mix the poster paints to the right consistency to paint a huge backdrop for the stage. They measured out, talked about fractions (do you think we need 1/4 of a cup of red powder to 3/4 water?)etc. All chn in that group knew 1/4, 1/2, 3/4, 1/3 etc by the end of the morning and we had a lovely picture of a forest with thick gloopy paint and thin almost watercolour and they'd talked almost constantly using amazing adjectives. Bet they went home and said they'd 'played' and 'helped' me!

I've never met a 5 year old (other than those with particular SN) who was bored of play or couldn't/didn't learn through play, what a weird idea Play is the opposite of limiting, that's the whole point.

Here here Snossidge. Even my 10 year old learns through play - we play various games to help her with maths. I would be very suspicious that a 5 year old complaining their 'maths is too easy' is actually bored. Because if they KNOW they're doing maths then they probably aren't doing it in a play based way.

Most adults learn most effectively through play and doing. What is a more effective way to learn about what tastes good? Reading a cookery book or actually cooking and tasting something?

The bored with maths one is DS in year 2 so yes not quite the same. In reception it was more frustration that they wouldn't teach him more phonics, they would only do three letters a week or whatever it was. So we ended up teaching him some at home - but then it was frustration because "they're still doing sh", dramatic sigh.

Yes she is a loon - ignore and avoid. DS has just started reception. I am quite sure he doesn't even realise he is learning but he (and I) are completely delighted that he has been reading his own books for 2 weeks now.

Every week his phonics book comes home and we have to stick in pictures starting with the sounds that he has learnt that week. Last week's letters included 'd' so he thought of some words and I printed pictures off for him to stick in. After the usual words like 'drum' and 'dinosaur' he had a little think and said 'maybe dodecahedron'. I looked at him astonished and asked him where he learnt that. He just grinned and said Team Umizoomi.

I did however not put a picture of a dodecahedron in his book. I am not that wanky and am sure the teacher wouldn't believe he came up with it by himself anyway.

Who says they don't learn from play (or even watching TV)!!

The playground Mum is nuts.

I would say that as I am in Scotland and my 4 year old has another full year of half days at nursery to go. Cannot think what reception lot do all day as mine already knows and can write all her letters, count to 100 forwards and backwards and do simple adding and subtracting. She was driving me nuts with her spelling games yesterday afternoon. She spends her time at nursery walking to the local park to jump in puddles, playing in the mud kitchen in the nursery garden, and acting out stories with music and movement. She absolutely loves it and I am spared a year of sidling parents comparing notes in the playground (already been through that with dd1 and dd2 in P1-P7 so I feel your pain).

It makes me sad that someone would think they have too much playtime in YR. Mine is Y3, so their playtime is significantly reduced, and they would bite your hand off for 5 minutes of extra playtime. They are only tiny little.