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Primary education

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Original poster

DS constantly fidgeting

22 replies

Pyjamaface · 29/09/2015 19:16

DS is 6.5, in Y2.

His teacher pulled me aside this afternoon and said that he is constantly fidgeting and struggling to concentrate and that 'he needs to work on this'

Fair enough except she offered no ideas as to how she will be helping him or things we can do at home to help him.

DS says that he does try but sometimes he just cannot sit still and has to move and he gets into trouble. He very much wants to please his teacher and he was crying when he got home because he had upset Mrs X.

I am going to arrange a meeting with her but I am stuck in the meantime for ideas. I thought about sending him with a bended bangle as a fidget object but DS says he isn't allowed to play with anything in class so he won't take it so he doesn't get in more trouble.

Any other suggestions please?

OP posts:

user789653241 · 29/09/2015 19:46

Sorry I don't have any solution, but my ds is exactly the same.

In reception, he always had something in his hands and was told off for it.
He can't sit still when he is concentrating.

I read something about kinetic learner, that certain percentage of people needs to be moving while learning. I also read on past thread that some child was allowed to stand while doing work at school.

I still try to tell him to stop fidgeting, but I kind of accepted it. I know he is not doing it annoy me or teacher on purpose.

I also found out later, that one of child in ds's class was allowed to have some stress ball in the class.(Different teacher from reception.)

If you talk to the teacher, he may be allowed have some fidget object?

Original poster

Pyjamaface · 29/09/2015 19:50

That was going to be my suggestion to her but DS is refusing to take one tomorrow because he thinks he will get in trouble.

We walk to school everyday so he is burning off energy before school as well

OP posts:

DesertorDessert · 29/09/2015 19:57

I'm sitting here now with my thighs contracting in a sort of dance, as I can't sit still either. I'd go for something he can do subtly to try and keep both happy.

That said my Y2 can't sit still either, but has had glowing comments from this teacher.

user789653241 · 29/09/2015 19:58

In my ds's case it's nothing to do with excess energy.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kinesthetic_learning

Original poster

Pyjamaface · 29/09/2015 20:14

His teacher last year had nothing but good things to say about him, yes he fidgeted but she managed him well and was very pleased with him, excellent reports and parents evenings and giving him little extra bits of work to do to keep him occupied etc.

His current teacher appears so far to be more about strictly following her way instead of finding ways to suit both (his reading books have only been changed once so far because he 'shouldn't be on X level yet' for example)

OP posts:

user789653241 · 29/09/2015 20:15

I wish I had knowledge about these things when he was constantly in trouble for playing with things in his hands.

He is yr3 now, but his great yr2 teacher accepted as he is, and when I asked about his behaviour, she said, " He is always shooting off somewhere. Never sit still." with a smile.

Original poster

Pyjamaface · 29/09/2015 20:16

That sounds just like DS Irvine. How can I approach the teacher with suggestions to let him move without putting her back up?

OP posts:

daisydalrymple · 29/09/2015 20:19

Can you refer her to her colleague and say his behaviour was the same last year and was managed very well? Or go for it and ask for a meeting which includes last years teacher too?

user789653241 · 29/09/2015 20:22

I wish I can help!!!

It's really difficult that while open minded teacher might listen to you and think about the possibility of it as his learning style, others might think it's just being naughty.

I haven't found out what my ds's yr3 teacher think of him about this yet.

user789653241 · 29/09/2015 20:24

I think it's a good idea, daisydalrymple.

orangepudding · 29/09/2015 20:28

Some children find it useful to have a piece of blutac in their pocket to fiddle with, its not distracting.
My sons year one teacher wasn't keen on my ds having fiddle toys and would take them away. His yr2 and now y3 teacher doesn't have a problem with it. He also uses a sit and move cushion.

derektheladyhamster · 29/09/2015 20:32

I fiddle with bluetac if I can, and currently am jiggling my leg. Drives dh mad. Ds is the same and was given a fiddle ball in yr5. No advice to deal with the new teacher though!

DioneTheDiabolist · 29/09/2015 20:41

DS has SEN, and fidgetted a lot. He is so much better since the school gave him a wobble cushion. Could you request one of those OP?

blaeberry · 29/09/2015 20:55

There could be a number of things going on here; he may have a need for sensory feedback, have low muscle tone which makes it difficult to hold his position, have poor awareness of his body position (there is a technical term for this but I have forgotten it). I know some children benefit from a wobble cushion. My own ds has low tone so his OT has requested a special supportive chair with arms. My dd on the other hand is just a fidget and I think it is a distraction from boredom. Her teacher also said she needed to learn to stop fiddling to help her concentration but I don't agree that these things are mutually exclusive - I think some children need to fiddle to concentrate.

Original poster

Pyjamaface · 29/09/2015 21:17

Thank you all.

I have had a look at the wobble cushions and the reviews and I think that might help, whether or not his teacher allows it would be another thing but I can only ask and see what she thinks.

Hopefully she will be on yard duty in the morning so I can sort a proper meeting out with her

OP posts:

DioneTheDiabolist · 29/09/2015 23:32

Let us know how you get on OP.

cariadlet · 29/09/2015 23:39

If the chat to your DS's class teacher doesn't help, then ask the school to make an appointment for you to speak to the SENCO/Inclusion Manager (whatever jargon your school uses!). They should be aware of this kind of issue.

If children who need to fidget or fiddle with something are asked to sit completely still, then they sometimes use up so much concentration on not fidgeting that they don't have any attention left for listening and learning.

It's the sort of thing that we're regularly reminded about whenever we have SEN training at my school, so the class teacher really ought to be aware of the issue.

MidniteScribbler · 30/09/2015 00:10

I was that child at school that was constantly told off for fiddling. It was only years later when I attended a PD seminar that I finally found out that I need to fiddle in order to be able to learn effectively. Mostly it is paperclips that meet their doom in my hands.

Once you understand, then it is obvious which child is fiddling to keep themselves learning and those which are distracted. DS is looking like he is turning out like me and I will not take too kindly to a teacher telling him not to if it turns out that is how he learns best.

Obviously he can't just do what he wants, as that can be distracting for other students also. What you need is to find something which is acceptable to the teacher for him to have as his permitted fiddle toy. These are quite good for children who need to fiddle and are fairly low key, so the don't distract others too much. There are also some good toys here. Just stick to something which he can have in his pocket or hold within his hand. Also have a set location which the item is stored in, whether it be a small case in his desk (soap case or toothbrush holder works well) so it becomes something which is pulled out at the appropriate times, and doesn't get left laying around the classroom or mixed up with other student belongings.

user789653241 · 30/09/2015 06:41

"If children who need to fidget or fiddle with something are asked to sit completely still, then they sometimes use up so much concentration on not fidgeting that they don't have any attention left for listening and learning."

That really makes sense, cariadlet.
I wish all the school knew about it.

Enb76 · 30/09/2015 11:02

My daughter is allowed to take a fiddle object in school - she finds it far easier to concentrate when she's concentrating on more than one thing at a time. For lots of children - the 'sit still and listen' method just doesn't work

Lindy2 · 01/10/2015 11:26

My daughter's school provided a fiddle toy for her to hold during carpet time. There were a few children with them to help their concentration.

Original poster

Pyjamaface · 01/10/2015 14:34

Thanks for all your replies.

The teacher didn't come out yesterday either morning or afternoon even though Wednesdays are her stated contact days, and I'm at work today so I'm going to try to catch her tomorrow.

The TA that I spoke to yesterday seemed confused when I asked how his fidgeting was (I managed to convince him to take a hair bobble as a fiddle object) and said she had been playing memory games with him and he was absolutely fine and worked well so I'm confused now.

OP posts:

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