helping DD with homework

[rozza1981]

Hi

I need some advice on how to help DD with homework and school work in general. We get spelling tests to revise for each week, we get them a week in advance of the test and so have lots of time to practice. The problem that I have is that if DD gets a word wrong she panics and rather than calmly trying again seems to get worse and worse in her attempts.

I've tried reassuring her and explaining that nobody is perfect and that everybody has to practice things to get them right but I'd value any recommendations from other parents who have children who worry about not getting things right first time and not being instantly perfect. This issue isn't just related to spellings but comes out in a lot of things that she's either trying to get right (cart wheels, handstands) etc. She gets frustrated very easily and seems to panic.

What can I do to help

Girls are often like that. It's a constant struggle. I try to telling about things I got wrong as a child or now. Also - try this book

Make sure you always praise the effort as opposed to the results.

Try not to say 'that's wrong, or that's not right', instead say 'that was a good effort, just that e needs to be an a' (or whatever)

Model getting things wrong and trying again

Set up the learning and practising of spellings so she does not make mistakes. Encourage her to trace spellings, colour over, use in a sentence. Depending on how best she learns either emphasise the sound or the look of the word. Highlight tricky bits, link to other known words. Encourage your child to self test by writing words out on computer. It will red underline if wrong at which point she self corrects or uses the computer to see the correct spelling. She can practise in this way as much as she wants.
With other work keep reinforcing the idea that we ony learn from getting things wrong. Also set limits on the amount of time she can spend on homework. Try to teach her some self calming measures she can apply when she finds herself getting anxious. Look up sam-app.org.uk which is an app for managing anxiety. Best wishes.

Thanks for all your replies, some really good ideas

reinforcing the idea that dd was expected to make mistakes because if it was always perfect she would be accelerated to the next band up has helped.
it took a while but she gets the whole "stretching" yourself idea now

It's a common problem I think. My dd who is 9 has a tendency to do this with lots of things although she is getting better. I keep reinforcing the idea that making mistakes is fine because that's how you learn, etc.