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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

Friends in reception

14 replies

frillysockmum · 30/04/2014 19:16

Has anyone experienced really really close nursery best friends being separated in reception ie put in different classes. Is this a good thing?

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rabbithole · 30/04/2014 19:18

Yes. It is good for them to mix with new children.

starlight1234 · 30/04/2014 19:24

yes its a good thing rather than clinging to one person they have to get to know the new children..they can still play together at playtime and at MY DS's school the classes are often mixed up for things like letters and sounds.

MrsCakesPremonition · 30/04/2014 20:02

IME nursery friendships are forgotten very quickly.

Clutterbugsmum · 30/04/2014 20:34

I think so.

Having seen children who are so close they exclude other children. And if one is not at school for whatever reason the one at school can not function properly.

It's important for children to have lots of different friends.

Original poster

frillysockmum · 30/04/2014 21:00

Thanks. They have been friends before nursery and my DD has lots of other friends but is generally sad if her best friend isn't there. I know they will see each other at break but that's only a small part of their day. I am just anxious that it doesn't effect how much she currently loves it

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Clutterbugsmum · 01/05/2014 13:14

How is your school reception class set up.

The reception at my dc school is set up with 2 linking class rooms and separate outside classroom area which leads into their playground. Which the children can go between the two unless they are doing set work, which they have to do in their allocated class. So although friends can be in different classrooms but they can still see a lot of each other.

tobysmum77 · 01/05/2014 14:33

I think it's neither good or bad. dd's 2 nursery friends are in a different class but she still plays with them (she's in reception)

DeWee · 01/05/2014 14:40

Not sure. It happened to my dd. They stayed best friends until year 6 when her best friend turned nasty on her. Part of the problem was best friend didn't like her to have friends in her own form, so anyone dd made friends with was seen off pretty quickly. Dd otoh accepted any of best friend's friends, (that was teachers' prespective) which meant she was pretty lonely when best friend turned on her, but best friend still had her group.
I think if they'd been in the same form they'd have been part of a small group, and it would have been better all round, I suspect best friend wouldn't have turned on her either as she would have known that dd would not have been on her own.

"Playing at playtime" is what was said to us. They did. Always. However this meant that when dd needed a partner in form (games/school trips/other projects) she didn't have one, plus things like at lunch they were meant to sit with their form, indoor playtimes were strictly in own classrooms, even things like the residential trip, they were only allowed to ask to be with people from their own form in the dorms...
Playing together at lunch actually prevented her from making friends in her own form because children don't want a friend who's friend won't let them hang out at lunch/break, and dd never wanted to upset her old friend.

Sorry it's not what you want to hear, but I've seen similar happen for other children. People always say it's fine. But generally one makes a friend in their own class and the other is left out. With my dd it didn't happen that way, but it was not good.

PastSellByDate · 01/05/2014 14:41

Hi frillysockmum:

DD1 has 2 dear friends from nursery who went to 2 other schools.

Our solution was to always arrange to meet up at holidays (going to plays/ special outings). We've kept in touch all these years. They're once again all off to different secondaries - and I'm sure their interests/ friendship groups will probably mean that they drift a bit further apart - but us parents are such good friends now I suspect we'll still meet up (more for parents than them perhaps).

I think it naturally can be unsettling if you're on your own in a new situation - but children are amazingly resilient and who knows there may be some fabulous friends to be made in their new class - try not to assume that won't be the case.

HTH

allyfe · 01/05/2014 14:44

We requested for my DD to be in a different class from her best friend because we were worried about how exclusive they would be. My DD has always loved school, but hasn't settled in perfectly. I don't know if it would have been different if they had been in the same class. They play together every playtime, but my DD has made some friends in her class too. She still totally adores her best friend, and she is very clear that she is her best friend.

addictedtosugar · 01/05/2014 14:47

DS1 announced at 3yr something he was going to marry Ruby* (name changed).
They are now in recepetion together, but different classes. DS1 teacher has commented how great it is during free time that he will go into Ruby's class to find her. They are still going to get married, and are generally very, very close. But that doesn't mean they need to be joined hand and hip.

He also has a very close friend in the 3rd intake class. If people are going to get on, being split for a few hrs at a time isn't the end of the world.

As they get older, and there is less free movemenbt between the kids and class rooms, I don't know what will happen. but at the moment there are no issues.

Original poster

frillysockmum · 01/05/2014 17:37

Thanks for all the insights. I can't recall exactly how the classrooms are set up but they are not as open plan as some schools. Such a dilemma. My heart says leave them together as they are happy and settled but do have lots of other friends. (Huge nursery and school). I am also however taking on board the other side of the debate - very interesting food for thought

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NotCitrus · 01/05/2014 17:53

Ds and best nursery friend are in the same class in Reception. Both are a bit nervous and geeky so I was glad they could start together. There's been a bit of bf only wanting ds to play with him, but the teachers have been on top of it and had a couple weeks of encouraging everyone to make extra friends. Actually if it weren't that they were in the same reading group they wouldn't be together so much - all their friends seem to be Ms Y's group, which seems to also be the set of boys who don't like football.

I figure they could be split later if it causes a problem. Ahappy start is important.

Original poster

frillysockmum · 01/05/2014 18:32

Yes I really don't want them to be sad and unsettled as they have never been in separate nursery classes. I would rather they got off to a good start and we're put in separate groups for activities if it became an issue. The issue about having to sit with their own form at lunch time and on trips etc is very relevant. Both have other friends in and out of school but their is no doubt who is their no1 friend etc

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