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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

Lack of concentration in DD 4.5 yrs

22 replies

Katiebeau · 11/09/2013 13:00

Hello. DD 4.5 has just started reception. I had a chat with her teacher today and DD isn't listening or following instructions unless the teacher is face to face with her and gets her to repeat it.

Teacher was clear there is no naughtiness or lack of understanding, DD simply doesn't listen when the teacher addresses the table or class.

Any ideas how to help her develop this skill? The thing is she is a good girl (has moments so she's normal!) and I know I was called a daydreamer when small.

Thanks for reading.

OP posts:

PatriciaHolm · 11/09/2013 13:04

Is her hearing OK? It's the start of school that often highlights issues such as glue ear - are you sure she's hearing what she's being told?

Original poster

Katiebeau · 11/09/2013 13:56

We will have her hearing checked. We do see a similar pattern at home though. She only answers when you are face to face. Although opening a jelly tot pack 10 foot away she seems to hear

OP posts:

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 11/09/2013 14:34

Has she been at pre-school? They often practise these sort of skills there and children who haven't been take a bit longer to get used to it in reception. I think getting her hearing checked is the correct first step too :)

Original poster

Katiebeau · 11/09/2013 14:38

Hello. Yes, nursery and then preschool but it was only 10 in the 2+ room at any time. She's good at following instructions. She just seems to not hear when you don't have eye contact. TBH nursery and at home we just thought of it as "DD" being how she is.

A bit of a problem in a class which I admit I hadn't realised

OP posts:

Pizzahutlover · 11/09/2013 14:49

My son is exactly the same could say exactly the same thing word on word and teacher also told me this as well funny how im not alone

Pizzahutlover · 11/09/2013 14:50

Think they will improve in their own time

Original poster

Katiebeau · 11/09/2013 15:12

Oh thank you Pizza. It seems they are still developing listening skills at this age.

She can understanding verbal instructions and remember what's she's told but only face to face.

The teacher doesn't think it's a processing issue as one to one verbal instruction is OK.

I worry worry worry. DD had issues with fluid in her brain in her 20 week scan and I am so worried this is when we find out it is going to give her problems.

OP posts:

PatriciaHolm · 11/09/2013 17:36

DS was the same, turned out he had awful glue ear and was coping by lip reading. Hence my suggestion for the hearing test!

Original poster

Katiebeau · 11/09/2013 19:32

Hello. We have the GP appointment this week. They reacted quickly when I said what it was for and then she will be referred.

Thanks everyone.

OP posts:

Pizzahutlover · 11/09/2013 20:00

Well my sons already had hearing test and he was fine he is just used to someone giving him instructions face to face as he went to a small nursery and he was my first child so was one to one with me dont worry katie hopefully everything is fine. I know as parents we tend to worry too much and reception is a big step for most children and they dont know what to expect in the first few weeks so may need that little bit more. Know my sons not the only one got a few in his class that are like that so dont worry anyway good luck

Periwinkle007 · 11/09/2013 22:06

I would say hearing related at a guess. it might not be in all situations but with the noise going on in the classroom she may be unable to distinguish the teacher's voice if a bit of her hearing isn't working quite right

mind having said that my sister did something similar and my parents tested it by whispering chocolate and she came running so....

souperb · 11/09/2013 22:35

If the classroom is busy, would she not just be "zoning out" the excess noise and bustle and concentrating on her thoughts or a task in hand. I think that sometimes when a situation is too busy some people (me included) just shrink their focus to a more "copable" amount. If the hearing turns out to be fine, it could just be a personality thing or something that will improve with maturity. I've seen lots of children at preschool paying the most incredible attention to playthings, utterly oblivious to an adult telling them something until that adult actually gains eye contact. Many of these children would have heard a pack of biscuits opening in the next room.

Teachers are probably not that interesting, anyway!

Pizzahutlover · 11/09/2013 22:59

Have to say souperb very funny what you said about the pack of biscuits snd peri found it funny what u said about the chocolate.my child is like that does not like tobe stopped when hes focusing on something and puts his full attention into what he is doing and tends toignore people sometimes when hes not happy with whats suggested but will come running if chocolate or biscuits are mentioned even if hes focusing on something thats the only exception sweets chocolate and biscuits or going in the car

Pizzahutlover · 11/09/2013 23:00

Original poster

Katiebeau · 11/09/2013 23:11

Oh yes. She heard me quietly offering ketchup with her casserole tea today (a very rare treat)!!!! Deliberate on my part.

I do think she just tunes out noise when focused on something even if that something is a lovely daydream.

Thank you all so much. I've stopped assuming the worst. She tries so hard. I don't want school to be hard hard work all the time. Not at 4 years old anyway!!!!

OP posts:

Original poster

Katiebeau · 11/09/2013 23:14

Oh and of course there was my old boss who used to shout boo at me when I was focused on a piece of work as I would be so in the zone.

Poor kid. She really truly is like me.

OP posts:

souperb · 11/09/2013 23:25

And that's a good thing!

Your DD can focus on her priorities and that's a great talent at any age. I hope she has a fun reception year.

Ferguson · 12/09/2013 19:50

Not of any use to OP, but an amusing story from 25 years ago:

A four year boy in a playgroup frequently ignored the Supervisor's instructions. She turned to another adult, and speculated perhaps the boy might be a bit deaf.

His 4 yr old friend piped up: "No, he's not deaf! He just knows what you are going to say, so he doesn't bother to listen."

Original poster

Katiebeau · 12/09/2013 21:05

Great stuff!

DD has received a star the last two days for listening and asking when she knows the teacher has spoken but she didn't hear it properly. Bless her.

Thank you all, I love Mumsnet.

OP posts:

Original poster

Katiebeau · 13/09/2013 11:30

Hello. DD ears are gummed up with catarrh. Dr will see her again in a month to see if its intermittent and we have been referred to audiology.

Thank you all again. The Dr did say at best her hearing is muffled right now.

OP posts:

Periwinkle007 · 13/09/2013 11:39

well that is good you know what it is and the school can help her work with the problem at the moment. Fingers crossed it will all clear up.

and I love that tale Ferguson

PatriciaHolm · 14/09/2013 12:00

Ah, glad you have a solution! Tell school - DS was moved to the front where he could hear better/see lips better when he had his glue ear, it really helped.

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