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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

So DD's best friend is a boy...

34 replies

MilestoneMum · 27/06/2013 22:16

...and they both like each other very much, but will he reach an age when he won't want to be best friends with a girl anymore?

They are both 4, at nursery together and start reception together in Sep.

OP posts:

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Signet2012 · 27/06/2013 22:19

My best friend was a boy. We where best friends until senior school, after that we kind of drifted (different forms) but we are still friends and although I don't see him anymore unless I randomly bump into him I still get a hug and he made a beeline for me when he spotted me with dd for the first time.

I have his mob number and we are FB friends. He will always have a special place in my heart

nancy75 · 27/06/2013 22:19

They probably will both find new friends over time. My dd's best friend was a little boy at that age, she is 8 now and although they still play sometimes they have both moved on to other friends quite naturally

notyummy · 27/06/2013 22:20

Probably, but best friends change regularly at that age. Dds best friend at nursery was a boy. It was a girl in reception and is now, in yr 2, another boy.

LauraPashley · 27/06/2013 22:21

I have this, they are now 5.5 and 6, been "together" since toddlers. After 1yr of school they are still inseparable! I've been gently trying to encourage some friendships with girls and she does have some pals, but nothing on the same level. Not sure how much of a concern it is tbh!

teacherwith2kids · 27/06/2013 22:21

DD - 10 - is part of a 'gang of 3' - 2 girls and a boy. the three of them have been best mates since about Year 2.

DS is a 'boyish boy' but his close group of school friends in Y7 is fairly evenly split between girls and boys.

So I think that you have a few years to wait before you worry!

Periwinkle007 · 27/06/2013 22:22

quite probably they will grow apart and I think each will probably make other friends of their own sex but that doesn't mean they won't stay friends. They do change friends a lot at that sort of age.

lougle · 27/06/2013 22:22

Probably. Does it worry you?

DD1's best friends are all boys; she's 7½. Her school is 80% boys, though, so she doesn't have much choice

DD2's best friends are a boy/girl mix; she's almost 6.

DD3's best friends are markedly boy heavy; she's 4.

I think it's a personality thing.

stickortwist · 27/06/2013 22:23

Ds2 is 6 and if you asked him his bestfriend now he would say 3 boys and the girl he was friends with at 3.
However given the choice they will still play together over others even now.

sleepyhead · 27/06/2013 22:28

As likely as her not wanting to be best friends with a boy.

Ds's best friend at school is a boy but his best friend out of school is the same little girl he's been friends with since they could toddle (we're friends with her parents so they spend a lot of time together/been on holiday together etc). They're both 6.

I've had friends of both sexes my whole life so I don't think it's inevitable that either boys or girls get to a stage where they won't be friends with the opposite sex.

Bunnyjo · 27/06/2013 22:29

DD is 5 (in Yr 1) and 2 of her closest friends are boys, twin boys in fact. DD said she wanted to invite them to a sleepover as she has enough room in her (double) bed for the both of them

She is good friends with boys and girls. Girl wise, she tends to favour the years above her with her 'best' friend being in Yr 3.

I was friends with boys and girls throughout school, I don't think gender matters.

Devora · 27/06/2013 22:30

dd's best friend through Reception was a boy, before he moved away.

Now, Y2, I think there is definite social pressure to be best friends with a girl, and she is. But she still is friends with a couple of the boys, has playdates with them, invited them to her (small) party. And I don't think that is unusual in her class.

MagratGarlik · 27/06/2013 22:30

Why do you assume HE will reach an age where he won't want to be friends with the opposite gender anymore, but she won't?

Just leave them to choose and make their own friends. Children don't need adult interference with respect to who they should or shouldn't be friends with at this age.

muppet1969 · 27/06/2013 22:34

So's mine

CorrieDale · 27/06/2013 22:34

DS's best friend is a girl. In nursery and reception they were inseparable. In y1 they still played together at school. Y2 it was discouraged by their other friends. Now (y3) they play together outside of school and have long chats on the way home. They get invited to each other's birthday parties and very occasionally play at school. I'm very friendly with her mum and we both really like that they are still buddies. I hope they'll always be friends.

OhTiger · 27/06/2013 22:35

I wouldn't worry about it one bit. up until DD1 went to school her best friend at nursery was a boy and they were inseparable, then they drifted a bit as we both moved, but there was no drama, and when they see each other it's very easy. Now the friend she sees most of, poss because the only one her age in the village, is a boy, and they get on so well, both 11, they hang out, watch movies, play xbox. Chill OP

OhTiger · 27/06/2013 22:36

She has lot's of girl friends too! Meant to add that.

Original poster

MilestoneMum · 27/06/2013 22:48

Of course I should have said it could be vice versa in my OP. I'm not really worried, I will take that chill pill pronto.

It is so nice to see her enjoy a close friendship, I think I am just the sort who needs something to worry about!

OP posts:

PoppyWearer · 27/06/2013 22:55

My best friend aged about 4-7 was a boy. It drifted after that although 30+ years later we are still in touch!

DeWe · 28/06/2013 09:47

Ds' best friends have been girls really for most of the time through preschool and now he's in year 1. However he tends to go and play football with the boys at break/lunch now. He still regards them as his best friends though.

Dd1 had a boy she said was her best friend in her class (female best friend in another class) through juniors. But when she got to year 6 they started getting teased about being boy/girl friends. They decided they were secret best friends, and would communicate little in school, but did things out of school. She's now in year 7, and they're at different schools and their friendship is getting stronger again.

Irishmammybread · 28/06/2013 09:56

DD2 was best friends with a boy at preschool, they used to play prince and princess together and decided to get married when they were 4. When they went to different primary schools they still visited each others houses and went to each others parties etc but over time they naturally drifted apart . DD2 goes to a small village school so older/younger kids,boys/girls all interact well with each other but now her best friend is a girl.
DD1 13 always preferred to play with boys, up to highschool but is now is closer to her female friends. That may of course all change in the next few years!

lissieloo · 28/06/2013 10:00

My best friend in the world is a chap I met at mother and toddlers when I was the toddler. We played together from the age of 2, were bff's right through our childhood and teen years, when I got married he gave me away and I was Best Woman at his wedding.
Even now, we speak most days via text or FB and, apart from DH, he knows more about me than anyone else. I realise that we are probably the exception, but one of DS's (8) best friends is a girl too.

daisychicken · 28/06/2013 10:04

Ds's best friends are two girls - they've been best friends since reception/year one and are now going into year four... I'm sure it will change by year 6-7 but then friendships do tend to change about then.. I'm not worried, it's just one of those things!

Fuzzymum1 · 28/06/2013 10:08

DS3's best friend is a girl - they were born a few days apart, we live in the same street and they have grown up together. They were in the same class in reception but in different classes for year one - they are still very close and play together at lunchtime still etc. The year apart has done him a lot of good as she tends to dominate him he's developed other friendships and has grown hugely in confidence.

lottiegarbanzo · 28/06/2013 10:09

I remember distinct stages of friendships, as a girl happy to be friends with boys. From 3-7 my bf was a girl but we had a close friendship group of two boys. At infant school we played long, imaginative games based on books and TV progs, prided ourselves on our sense and logic, sneering at princessy pink girls who believed in fairies. When we went to juniors at 7 it took all four of us a term to realise that no-one else played those games and friendship groups were single sex. So we made friends with the girls in our class. The boys befriended the non-sporty boys. The end!

We were not interested in football but there was one girl who played with the boys every break but had girls as friends too. All fine.

JRmumma · 28/06/2013 10:19

He might, but as long as your dd has other friends im sure she would get over it.

When I was at nursery school, i played with boys rather than girls. I don't really remember much about drifting apart from them but by the time i was about 7 my friends were mostly girls. Saying that my oldest friend is male. I have always found it much easier to be friends with males than females and think that must just be how i am and always has been. I don't understand why some regard it strange or inappropriate if people of opposite sexes are close platonic friends.

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