Would you move dd from private to outstanding junior for year 3?

[Sarahsb]

My dd is in yr 2 at all girls private school. She may have a place at an outstanding state junior school from yr 3 onwards.

Would you move her?

She is happy at school but would prefer to be with boys and play football etc. she does know some people at the state school but would be going from a small school with 2 classes of 15 to large school with 3 classes of 30.

Opinions welcome!

If you would prefer her to be in a mixed school then maybe you should move her. I think it is irrelevant whether it is outstanding or not as Ofsted is only one part of the decision, and is not hugely meaningful IMO. Tt depends on whether you think it is the right school for her.

3 classes of 30 is big! I have one in state and one in private (both infants - long story), originally the state school was classes of 15-25 (one form intake) but now it is so popular there are roughly 1.5 classes of 30 in each year (3 classes Y1 and 2), I have found it a HUGE difference TBH and much preferred the smaller classes.

I think the issue is around it being a girls school, if you want her to mix with boys etc you will never get that from a girls school of couse.

Unfortunately the co ed privates around here are not great so this is the only private option .

It really is an outstanding school and is like a private school in what it offers and is probably a bit pushy academically. They get great 11 + results so dd would hopefully pass and go on with friends. They offer great clubs, pe etc.

But it is big and dd is happy!

She wouldn't be staying private for secondary and lots of her friends from the private school would be.

This late on, you'd lose a terms fees in lieu of notice if you moved her, but would me making significant savings after that. Is cost a factor?

does your DD want to mix with the boys etc? If not particularly could you ensure she does some out of school clubs that are mixed?

As ever with these school choice questions it comes down to the best school for your child, not whether it is state or private, Ofsted outstanding or not.

Clearly pros of the private option are small classes. Cons are all girls and costs money (obviously how big a con this is depends on your personal circumstances).

DS goes to a large junior (4 classes of 30 per year) and it does mean that there is a wide variety of opportunities available and all targeted at this age group. Of course this may not be the case in ?your? local state school. The school is managed well and the teaching support is targeted well, so I feel that DS?s teacher knows him individually and he hasn?t got ?lost? (and he?s a child that falls in the ?middle? so potentially a child that might have ben overlooked). We did think about private in year 3 (so opposite of your dilemma!) but really couldn?t see that what we were getting (in our local options, obviously yours are different) was worth the money compared to the state school.

You say your DD would like to play with boys and football. As they move through KS2 there seems to be less playing together. DS yr4 was recently in a schools football tournament (nothing high level), only his school and one other included any girls in their teams.

If she is happy I would leave her where she is.

We wouldn't mind losing terms fees as long term goal.

She does loads of out of school activities with boys but desperate for more.

We drive by this school frequently and she always says she wants to go there.

She is happy at her school but gets frustrated by the all girl environment but on the other hand loves all the attention she gets as less children.

I think at this point, assuming the place comes up as suggested, we will love her, but keep having wobbles !!

I mean move her, not love her! Autocorrect is a pain sometimes.

The thing I do find is that although both DSs are at mixed schools by the time they are Y2 they mainly play with just boys or just girls, there is not so much mixing. There are a couple of boys who prefer to play with the girls and the other way round but on the whole they don't.

also, I was in a ladies football team linked to our local professional football team outside of school but once I was in about Y4/5 the boys would not let me join in even though I was as good as them as it was 'just boys'.

I moved my dd1 from an all girls private school from christmas at year 2 in preparation for year 3. She is like a different child since we moved her, happier, more confident and doing well academically ( she was before but she is more challenged by a bigger proportion of children at the same ability level). It sounds like you have made your mind up but just to let you know it worked for us ( also moved from a single sex class of 15 to a mixed one of 30)

My DD moved at the end of year 2 from a small prep where she said she was happy to an outstanding state primary...she said she was happy at her prep but now she is at her state school she says she's MUCH happier with it all. She's actually doing much better academically too.

Thank you to the last 2 posts for sharing your experience . When my dd is with boys at beavers etc and in a more relaxed environment, her face totally lights up and she is so much more relaxed.

It's also surprising that she is not academically challenged by many of her peers even though private school so think it would be nice as you say to have more children to work with at a similar level.

Sarah my youngest DD (not the one who moved) LOVES playing with boys too...about two thirds of her "gang" are little lads and they have such fun at playtime.

I think that if you send her to state as well you can save the money for secondary if you want private then. Or just save it up! I was very anxious about state schools when I chose my older DDs prep...could not accept that they can be as good or sometimes better than private but they really can.

If you don't intend to do independent secondary I'd move her now.

at that age i doubt very much if boys would let her anywhere near a football or indeed be seen talking to her, from what i recall of year 3, so she could be disappointed there.

She already knows lots of the boys that go there as they do the same activities. They always play with her and choose to, so I am not concerned that they will ignore her at school.

She wouldn't be going to private at secondary.

Thanks, this chat has helped.

Now need that place to be confirmed!!

burberry what tosh. Maybe in your children's school but not so in my DDs school As for the boys "letting" her near...not really relevant since exclusion is bullying and these days that's stamped on...at least in DECENT schools.

Yes, I would. Unless the standard of teaching is awful at the mixed school I'd say the benefits of learning to integrate in a mixed gender, mixed ability environment outweigh the downsides of larger classes. It will also make the transition to secondary much easier if she is joining with her friends.

neomaxi, how nice that your childrens school is superior to the one mine attended, good for you, i was merely sharing an observation that at that age play is very segregated by gender.

You know your child. 2 classes of 15 girls is a small school and your DD might not be suited to such a stifling social setting.

I thought you meant 2 classes of 15 in each year group not altogether - that IS small.

I think you sound like you are fairly certain anyway so go with your gut instinct. Also if you are sending her to a state secondary school I think it is better to move her now - it makes sense.

I agree with burberry to an extent, I have helped out lots of times at school and boys mainly play with boys although at infants I have never seen them exclude anyone who wanted to play with them that is just at juniors