DD too cute for her own good.

[LegAKimboGo]

When DD started out in reception we warned her teacher not to 'take any shit' from her.

Reception was fairly disastrous, main teacher was deputy head and off sick a lot so a succession of supply teachers never really got to grips with the class in the long term.

DD is very pretty, very engaging, bit like the daughter on Outnumbered. She's bright, got an excellent engineering brain, can twist shapes round in her head then transfer them back to 2 dimensions.

She is very good at distracting others.

Year 1 we warn the new teacher but it looks like DD has totally sucked her in.
Her writing has regressed, her spelling is either excellent or away with the faries. She'll colour compliicated shapes at home for hours but at school claim she's tired after writing three words and they believe her!

How do we convinence next years teaching staff that they just have to demand more and ignore the 'act'.

Not cute to me. Sounds naughty and disobedient.

I'd tackle your daughters attitude before going to the teacher.

So it is the teacher's fault that your daughter doesn't know how to behave because they are too naive to understand her cunning (5 yr old) ways
Wow, you really have a low opinion of teachers.

Please understand we (primary school teacher) are not fooled by lazy children who are 'too tired' to work but can charge around at playtime etc.

I thought the proper meaning of cute was someone who was tricky or awkward.

Is this what you meant?

"Please understand we (primary school teacher) are not fooled by lazy children who are 'too tired' to work but can charge around at playtime etc."

Genghis not even if they're cute?

I think DD is tricky and awkward and she disguises it very well. We have warned the teachers to look beyond the 'angelic' face.

She's well behaved, helpful always on the rainbow, but when it comes to work - lazy. The reports we get home never mention this, it's always about how helpful she is, how smiley, lovely manners, never she refused to concentrate on writing, etc.

So how do we make it clear to next years teacher 'not to take any shit?'

Not many teachers think children are "cute"

I have to say I think you are being a little hard on a 5/6 year old child.
She is hardly a master mind trickster but a young child!
Plenty of children are good at some things and not others, and perhaps she finds writing more difficult than shapes??
You seem to have a negative attitude towards her, and should build her confidence and support her rather than worrying about telling the teachers 'not to take any shit!' Shes 6 years old!!

I think I would have a different approach and tell your DD that next year YOU won't tolerate her not doing her work and making progress. Unless she works hard she can't do x, y or z.

Is her reading, writing and maths at the expected level or better? Is she socialising ok and enjoying school? Are the school saying that she is behind? If the school are not concerned, I wouldn't worry unduly, unless it's a particularly poor school, in which case consider moving her. If you are worried that she isn't being stretched at school you could do some enrichment activities with her.

Seems like you are frustrated with her lack of progress, and I would focus on this tbh, rather than assuming what happens in the classroom. Make it clear thAt while helpful and smiley is good, you would like to see academic progress and why do they think she isn't achieving this? Ask to meet the teacher now, rather than planning to 'warn' the teacher.

I agree with toomuch2young that you sound quite negative about her and maybe need to keep an eye on this. You don't want to give her the message that you think she's manipulative and putting on an act.

Thank you everyone, lots of good points to consider.

At home she's getting enrichment activities which is why we're frustrated by her progress at school.

She's in the 2nd group for maths because of a 'lack of confidence' but at home is doing her sisters year 3, top set maths.

Her writing is appalling, big letters, back to front, erratic, gives up. At home you encourage her to finish something and you get an essay.

At home her touch typing is level 4 BBC bitesize, can operate Iplayer etc, but at school let's her partner get on with it.

Possibly at school she just does n't have the confidence but wimps out....I don't know, it's fustrating because she sitting back in the classroom.

"you sound quite negative about her"

She does not.

If anything it's a stealth boast - "DD is too intelligent and cute; she even outsmarts teachers. We despair"

I think your post is sweet, OP.

Hardly a stealth boast, it's there in the title "My daughter is too cute"

Seriously though, it looks like there's a large disparity between her "performance" at home and school - in your situation I'd sit down with the teacher to work out a strategy together.

Does she do any writing at home OP? Does she struggle with reading?

As long as you know she is bright and is doing lots at home I'm sure it will be fine! She is only 5, that's really young loads of time to adjust and change her attitude to schoolwork!

I'd lay off all the activities at home and let her play and just be 5!
She might then start applying herself more at school. Maybe she sees school as her time to relax and chill out if she is doing lots at home? Take the pressure off at home and she might change at school.

Wait until she is 8 and driving you crazy with friendship traumas day after day...

Ignoring the "too cute" comment which I can see being read as a stealth boast or a negative representation of her as overly manipulative or cunning, I think the issue here is that you don't think she is demonstrating the same abilities at school that she is at home. I agree a conversation with the teacher would be the best way to start investigating why that might be. There are many reasons but I don't see that you have enough evidence to know it is that the teachers as being hopelessly naive and taken in by your wonderfully clever 5year old (which is how your OP comes across). It could be because she is struggling without the one to one attention you give her at home and she needs help learning how to contribute in class. perhaps she is finding hard to concentrate or behaves badly because she gets over excited or thinks it makes her popular to be silly in front of her friends...there are loads of reasons, go in and ask the teacher but in an open way rather than a closed "I need to warn you just how cute my daughter is" way

I don't know, we're all in knots over this. We don't insist on anything, every night, we don't fake the homework diary (it is a state school but they're ticking the Ofsted paperwork big time this year). Don't coach the spellings, just remind her a couple of times to write them out - last week she got full marks this week 3 out of 8.

We're relaxed enough to know it's about the long game, more about loving stories so you want to read rather then just decoding words to reach the next band.

She's July born coming up six.
Reading - Purple ORT but got the reading bug at home and sitting down with anything, reading to herself.
Maths - can do a 2,5,10 random multiplication grid at home and mathletics level 3. Borrows her older sisters login for this, not a parent led thing. In her maths book the numbers are back to front, page half finished, etc.
Writing - totally random, gives up easily.

From what you've posted it looks like she may have an issue with actual writing? Maybe she is so used to doing well at other things she refuses to write because she knows she isn't that great at it?

You say that she writes an 'essay' at home - so it sounds as if it is not a problem with writing per se? Though your other posts seem to belie that?

If it is an issue with writing in particular, that could be for lots of reasons - porr fine motor skills, belief that it 'should be easy' and it isn't, fear of 'getting things wrong', needing 1 to 1 support for ideas, finding others distracting...

An open discussion with the school that takes along genuinely unaided writing from home (this is important - aided writing from home shows what she can do in an environment that cannot be replicated in the classroom - 1 to 1 working, with someone to help her whenever she needs it) and asks why it is not happening at school is a way forward IF a huge disparity exists.

If it is that she can do it when working 1 to 1 but not in a class, then the strategies needed are different - basically she can't work independently yet and you may need to discuss possible approaches with school.

I was thinking along the exact same lines as bob you can be very intelligent and have a specific difficulty.

Cross posted with teacher who wrote so well and knowledgeably.

I'd assume that as soon as you used the words "take any shit" the teacher would have mentally filed you into a category of unpleasant parents whose advice should be taken with a particular pinch of salt. Did you actually use that phrase? It seems disrespectful in the extreme to the teacher concerned.