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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

OTT to get tutor for yr1 DD?

43 replies

printmeanicephoto · 14/05/2013 19:42

My DD was "just within age related expectations" for reading, phonics and maths last Christmas just gone, and is now "within age related expectations" in all of these in yr1.

Am pleased that she is progressing but it is an academic, fairly MC school and she is in the bottom set or the next one up (think there are 4 or 5 sets). She is summer-born.

Am not overly concerned, but wondering if I should pay for a tutor or just pay next door neighbour (age 16) to come round and read with her for half an hour after school a couple of times a week etc.

We do read to her every night and she reads to us but I often work eves so my input is fairly short and limited. DH does help but is usually knackered by that time after work and does the minimum with her also.

Has anyone tried paying willing teenager to help? Or would a tutor be better? Is she too young for a tutor? Her bro aged 9 could help as he is a fluent reader but not sure as maybe it would be better if it was someone outside family. Any tips?

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brainonastick · 14/05/2013 19:45

Can you make more time at the weekend instead? Parental input is probably the ideal I would think.

Original poster

printmeanicephoto · 14/05/2013 19:53

Weekends proving tricky as we're catching up on all the housework and they want to play with their friends. We do try and do a bit extra but I don't think its enough.

OP posts:

IwishIwasmoreorganised · 14/05/2013 19:54

If you can afford to pay someone to tutor her, I'd spend that money on a cleaner instead to free up your time.

podgymumma · 14/05/2013 19:59

Surely you DH can spend 15 mins with her reading when he gets home? I'm knackered when I get home and so is my DH but we realise we have to spend time listening to my DS read.

Also i'm sure you're not doing housework all weekend - I appreciate they want to spend time with their friends but reading/homework/maths must be added into the equation.

Original poster

printmeanicephoto · 14/05/2013 19:59

We tried a cleaner but its not really the cleaning that takes the time - more the sorting and tidying and washing!

OP posts:

Original poster

printmeanicephoto · 14/05/2013 20:03

So am I getting the message - find the time - its your job, don't outsource it to someone else?

Due to our hours we really are struggling to find the time - we do what we can but know it's not enough.

Maybe I'm stressing over this too much and she'll catch up in her own time. Who knows!

OP posts:

PeanutButterOnly · 14/05/2013 20:08

Maybe she would really like it for 16 yr old neighbour to come round! I know what you mean regarding time. Of course you can find the time somewhere but often I find its hard in the general busyness to find a good time when you're both relaxed.

NervyWervy · 14/05/2013 20:11

I am an ex teacher, now I tutor. One of my tutees is in year 1, I have her for half an hour per week. We get lots done in that time, phonic games, a little bit of her reading book, learning new blends etc. She gets a lot out of it and if my dd needs it when she's older I will be happy to pay for it too (if she doesn't want to do it with me). I think tackling it before it becomes a big issue for her is exactly the right thing to do. Good luck!

brainonastick · 14/05/2013 20:12

Don't get me wrong - working and trying to find time for this stuff is a nightmare (and I don't even work full time) and I feel for you. No judgy pants here. But I'm not sure how you can outsource it at this young age - they would need to be really comfortable with the person to get some value out of it whilst it still being enjoyable (which is the main aim still, to enjoy it and develop a love of reading).

You should definitely revisit the cleaner idea though! Or.... here's a thought, a mothers help? Maybe an older lady who will do school pick up and some reading (like a grandma might, with time - once they'd got to know them), plus cook teas and a little bit of putting washing on etc. Who does the school pick up at the moment?

As an aside - I have often considered a career change to an after school childminder, with reading and homework help. I dismissed the idea as no-one would want to pay for it, but maybe there's some mileage in it after all! ignores the thought of trying to get five young children all quiet and reading together

lougle · 14/05/2013 20:14

Do you feel that she is progressing appropriately, or do you feel she's lagging behind?

What levels is she on?

My DD is also Y1, also summer born. I'm not sure what levels she's on, because she moved school just as reports were due. I'm more concerned with her general confidence in reading and comprehension.

To be fair, if she's 'within expectations' for her age, then she doesn't need to 'catch up'.

AbbyR1973 · 14/05/2013 20:16

It is difficult if you work evenings but it sounds like your DH could do a bit more perhaps? It is tiring after a long day at work I appreciate that as I often find myself I'm pretty exhausted when I get in. I am a single parent though so there is nobody else but me to do it. I work full time plus weekends and nights 1 in 6. I get in at around 6pm, make dinner, hear both children read, then get them ready for bed, then bedtime stories for each of them. I do cleaning up from dinner, housework and preparing lunches etc for the next day when I get back downstairs. It is jolly hard work but the most rewarding part of the day is the time I spend with my children there is no way I would give that time up to a tutor.
I agree with the poster that said if you have money to spend spend it on something that frees up your time more

IwishIwasmoreorganised · 14/05/2013 20:18

You've said that you often work evenings and your DH is tired after work so could either of you read with her in the morning instead?

freetrait · 14/05/2013 21:08

I think the neighbour is a good idea . It would be good experience for both of them and you can pay him less than a tutor. Also it stays sort of informal.

I would go for a multi-pronged approach though, and it's a shame if your DH doesn't want to be a bit more involved, it would make all the difference. I would encourage him to spend 10-15 minutes with her when you can- it's hard to change habits, but really it's not that hard when you're knackered, plenty of other parents do it . Could he at least commit to twice a week and once at the weekend? Maybe she could have something she could have something different to read to him that would engage both of them- girl equivalent of The Beano (or why not the Beano if she and he like it)- you get the idea- something that makes it fun for both?

denialandpanic · 14/05/2013 21:29

the best advice I got was to do reading in the mornings.I am chronically early for everything so we used the time in the car park before school to read when dd was in reception.dd was fresh I was fresh it worked. we have subsequently moved and walk to school and get up later so we don't do it anymore

Sparklingbrook · 14/05/2013 21:32

We got DS1 a tutor in Year2. Best thing we ever did. It boosted his confidence no end, and he came on in leaps and bounds.

Any attempt by myself or DH to do any sort of work with him ended in a meltdown all round.

He's in Year 9 now-top sets.

Decoy · 14/05/2013 21:39

I'd vote for getting a tutor. Someone with experience and knowledge of teaching and how children learn. A well-meaning neighbour just won't be the same.

Original poster

printmeanicephoto · 14/05/2013 21:42

Sparkling - how long did your DS1 have tutor for? Just Yr2 or longer?

OP posts:

noramum · 14/05/2013 21:43

We are all home at 6pm and still find time to read with DD, cook dinner and have a great bedtime with more reading. And DH and I are knackered.

It can be done. What will you do when she gets older and has more homework?

MrsBombastic · 14/05/2013 21:45

Am I the only one who thinks this is totally bonkers?

A tutor for a year 1 child? The world's gone mad I tells ya!

AbbyLou · 14/05/2013 21:45

My concern re the neighbour would be the quality of input. Just 'reading for half an hour' is not going to do an awful lot of good and it's an incredibly long time for Y1 to sit and read! I teach Y1 and we have many parent helpers who come in to hear readers. They are given lots and lots of guidance on how to hear a child read 'properly' eg what sorts of questions to ask, how to help the children read new words, if they have any particular targets etc. I would say little and often is much more worthwhile and I guess that would be easier to facilitate at home between you and your dp. If she is working at age-related expectations I really wouldn't worry. It's so easy to get hung up on what the others are doing but if she is making progress then she is doing well. My personal view on tutors at such a young age is that children are too young but that is only personal. I would hate to think parents of children in my class felt the need to spend money on a tutor at the age of 5. They are still so young and need to play imaginary games, read and be read to etc. Once her reading is secure the writing will just follow - that is what usually happens. Children don't need to be put under undue pressure at such a young age, it may have the opposite effect and put them off work.

Original poster

printmeanicephoto · 14/05/2013 22:00

AbbyLou - thanks that is really helpful. Yes maybe we should just do 10 mins here and there. Instinctively I feel a tutor maybe OTT.

Denial - Can see mornings would be best if you're a morning person - but alas I'm a night owl!

OP posts:

DewDr0p · 14/05/2013 22:02

She is within age related expectations OP and clearly making good progress. I don't think you need a tutor tbh.

I think you are going to have to find time to read with her at home though. It's important that it's you and dh I think. Only needs to be 10mins at a time (at this age half an hour's reading is too long imo), could dh not manage that? How about mornings like Iwish suggested?

I do understand it can be a struggle at times. I have 3 to read with plus homework, piano practice, spellings and extra writing to try and cram in and dh works away a lot.

seeker · 14/05/2013 22:08

Seriously? You're saying that neither of you can find 15 minutes a day to rad with your child?

Jinty64 · 14/05/2013 22:26

I work full time and I really get where you are coming from. Ds3 (6) does his reading just before he goes to bed. It's not ideal but, during the week, it's the only time that's available. At the weekend I have a bit more time to do some writing, maths and a bit more reading with him.

You can also get her to read things round about the house ie cereal packets, recipes etc. and signposts and shopping lists when you are out. Every little helps.

IwishIwasmoreorganised · 14/05/2013 22:27

printmeanicephoto sorry to be blunt but you seem to be putting up barriers.

A cleaner won't put away or tidy, but if you do that bit and let the cleaner do the rest surely that will free up some of your time.

You don't have time in the evenings but are unwilling to try making time in the morning.

DH is tired - yes but he has a young child who deserves some of his time.

I honestly worry that as your dd progresses through her education she is likely to need more of your time, but you and your DH are prioritising your own wants. Throwing money at things is not always the best solution.

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