Best course of action when DC have not got into expected primary school. Pre-school etc...

[Hufflypuffly]

Hoping for some advice from those who have been here, and also to hear from those who, like us, are in this situation now.

So from what I gather, this year has been quite problematic for school places- and there have been some unexpected outcomes in areas that previously were usually ok. We (like many, many others I am sure) did not get the school we expected for our DS. This was a real shock and although we have a place for him elsewhere, we are now in a quandary.

DS has been attending the feeder nursery/pre-school for the expected school. He knows nothing else. His friends are there. There is the rest of the summer term left- what do we do? Should we try and enrol DS in the pre-school of his allocated school for a few weeks? Or is this just another transition that will cause more harm than good?

If we keep him largely enrolled in his current group, presumably it would be best to withdraw him from the regular visits they make to the feeder school as this will confuse him?

Really don't know what to do for the best.

Hi Huffly, this school situation happened to my DS1. In fact we didn't get any of our choices. DS1 went into a class where all the children knew each other but they welcomed him instantly, there were no issues and within a few weeks it was like he had never been anywhere else. He also has the added benefit of friends outside of school too. Best of luck with it all.

I would keephim where he currently is, opt him out of visits to the feeder school, then ask his preschool what the transition arrangements are with his allocated school.

My DD goes to a preschool which it's in the area of several schools. We have two schools which visit the preschool, another school who ask children to visit them, and several schools which have different arrangements.

It will be fine.

I would keep him there. Will you put him on waiting list? My son went to a different school at reception and it was hard. He kept asking when he was going back to his school. But after a few weeks he settled and we made sure he kept the friendships he had at his nursery. He is in y2 now and still has those friends which is great.

Can't imagine he'll be the only one tbh, surely they won't take those who aren't moving up to visit a school they won't be attending. Is he on the waiting list ? Leave him as is for now. What if you moved him and the friends he made there then changed . Better to have a fresh start in September and use any induction sessions to find others to meet over the summer holiday.

My dd went from a children's centre nursery to a reception class where she knew one person. The school visited her at the nursery, she visited the school with nursery staff (and they took photos and made her a little laminated book, which was lovely) and I took her on a visit into the school etc.

It's a bit different if the nursery will be doing en masse transition visits - in this case, the staff should be used to situations where children are going to go to another school and advise you what they usually do.

At this age the average child is far more adaptable to change than we are, and I think that your child will cope well if they see you coping.

So, whilst first on your list of things to do will be to ascertain where you might be on the waiting list for your first choice, consider appealing if there is a good case etc, my suggestion is that you call your allocated school and make a visit/get as much information about it as possible. In particular you need to find out what are their arrangements for settling in children who do not transfer from their pre-school. Settling in can be a bizarre experience with some schools having odd systems for half day visits for most of the first term and other schools putting all children in together immediately. Certainly do not assume that your allocated school will do the same thing that you were expecting (if you had expectations).

Again at this age the school holiday is a long one, and I think that that will be a break enough from his current classmates and I wouldn't see the need to try to move him earlier, especially if there is a chance that he will get a place from the waiting list. Obviously if you do know anyone else going to the same school then a few playdates won't hurt. I would also check with your current preschool and see of others are in a similar position (ie going to different schools), and encourage the preschool to ensure that they include the fact that children are going elsewhere as they get them ready for reception.

My DD1 knew just one other child when she started school. It was fiiiiiiine. Don't panic, they are very adaptable. Also if you stay on the list for your preferred school, you may get that in the end. So moving preschool would have been for nothing.

Thanks all appreciate the comments and feel more positive now. At current preschool, school visits have been happening for months so unfortunately DS geared up to that particular school and teacher. However, I had completely forgotten about the long summer hols and that in itself does create a natural 'break' from his current routine.

Yes, we are on waiting list for preferred school. Fairly near to top but in a traditionally low-mobility area so not holding out too much hope but near enough to top to make it hard to just forget about it as an option so hard to feel settled towards anything. Not really sure what to say to DS about the whole thing really.

Oh and very little grounds for appeal I think.

My DD knew no one went she started in reception most of the other kids came from local nurserys - we had just moved into area.

She thrived there and not having established friends - she played with everyone and now in year 2 has loads of friends throught all the classes where as most of the other children have stuck with the nursery groups..

We did this through choice - DD1 attended the nursery of a school she would not be attending, something we knew from the outset (too far away and very poor out of school provision). Quite a few went to other schools, so she wasn't alone in not going on reception class visits. Her current school has no nursery attached, so DD and all her friends have come from a very wide range of settings indeed. She knew no-one. At her first parents' meeting in October, her teacher was surprised that she knew no-one when she started, she had integrated that well. A friend of mine can tell a similar story about her DS: they moved during the pre-school year.

It might, however, be wise to prepare him for not staying with his peers, so it's not a shock.