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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

How to deal with post parent consultation boasting

56 replies

DieWilde13 · 22/03/2013 17:54

I hate the way some parents boast about their dcs levels post parent consultations! I usually just listen, smile politely and grunt some sort of approval. I know that these parents are dying to compare their children's achievements with mine, but I refuse to engage in this stupid game.

It actually gets on my nerves so much that I am tempted to say "Level 3? That is wonderful for your child, isn't it? Little13 is actually a level 4, but I don't like to boast about it." I am too much of a wuss, though, and might have to resign myself to venting here and keeping quiet irl. Like most of the time when I can't be bothered to point out to people how much crap they are spouting.

Thanks for listening, rant over

OP posts:

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archfiend · 22/03/2013 18:07

I could do with some tips too - rant away!

I have now started counting the seconds between one particular parent arriving in the playground after a parents' eve and her starting to talk about how utterly brilliant her DC is. Think the record so far is 10 seconds...

Nod and smile, nod and smile...

daisydoodoo · 22/03/2013 18:11

Its the fb announcements. Someone has posted that their 6 & 7 yr old ds' have got A's in all subjects. I didn't even realise school's graded primary school children like that.

My dc have attended 4 different primariesand always rereferred to achievement in terms of on target etc.

I just ignore the fb statuses and don't engage in the competitive chat.

Booyhoo · 22/03/2013 18:17

i think your method is the best. just nod and smile and dont engage. you could take it as far as to just smile expectantly when they are talking, but continue it once they have made their shocking, amazing announcement as if tehy haven't yet said anything worth a reaction. just stay silent and let them try and fill the silence so their 'announcement' is completely ignored.

Sparklingbrook · 22/03/2013 18:20

Hasn't anyone arrived on the thread to say 'are we not allowed to be proud of our children then'?

archfiend · 22/03/2013 18:20

booyhoo that could be fun! I may try this next week after parents' eve.

archfiend · 22/03/2013 18:26

sparkling hello - hope not too snowy with you!

am sure they will be along in a minute!

Our school only gives NC levels in SATS years so it can be quite fun watching people tie themselves in knots trying to boast and not being able to quantify it

HumphreyCobbler · 22/03/2013 18:28

I tend to say effusively how proud they must be and leave it at that. I never mention my own DC, ever.

Original poster

DieWilde13 · 22/03/2013 18:35

booyhoo I like your style

OP posts:

jollydiane · 22/03/2013 18:40

Perhaps just say 'Right' it they go on about it smile and nod. If they still go on ask if DC could find a answer for the Cypriot crisis, and what is their view on the macro economic problems, do they think the govt should take a Keynesianism view? Also what do they think about the new regulatory regime in the UK? Finish off with what type of do the like?

Sparklingbrook · 22/03/2013 18:41

Hi arch- sleeting at the moment....

Cat98 · 22/03/2013 18:43

Oops, I talked to my friend about ds's parents evening - it was partly because I was very proud but also partly because there were aspects of it that concerned me and I wanted her opinion!
they are not at DS's school though.

I wouldn't make more than a passing comment about it to other parents at the school, and only then if it was relevant to the conversation. Maybe I'm a bit odd though but I like hearing about friends' children and their achievements. I think I'm just nosey but it doesn't bother me - I'd think it a bit odd if a random I didn't really know started enthusing to me, but otherwise it's fine!

Sparklingbrook · 22/03/2013 18:44

I think putting it on FB is OTT but I have been flamed for saying that previously.

Cat98 · 22/03/2013 18:45

Maybe sparklingbrook, doesn't bother me though if others do. Duly noted though!

Cat98 · 22/03/2013 18:45

Depends how you say it, too :)

BuggedByJake · 22/03/2013 18:47

I've never witnessed any boasting in RL or on Fb but I really don't see a problem with discussing results though. I'm sure some of you may see that as boasting.
My ds has Sen and I'm interested to see where other kids are at, it helps me get things in perspective.

Sparklingbrook · 22/03/2013 18:47

I don't like FB anyway so I am a bit biased. I don't have it so the boasting is wasted on me.

redskyatnight · 22/03/2013 18:48

Maybe you could change schools ? I've never had anyone tell me their child's level in a boasting way or otherwise. Similarly no one has ever compared their child's reading level with my child's. I wouldn't know such parents existed if it wasn't for MN, so can only conclude that these things must only happen at a certain type of school or maybe from a certain type of parent?

ElegantSufficiency · 22/03/2013 18:49

We are told not to discuss results at my dcs school. suits me.

chimchar · 22/03/2013 18:51

I never boast about my kids levels or anything because people dont like it. i rarely tell people their levels (particularly dc1 who is particularly clever ) but I do struggle sometimes.... I don't have anyone really who I can boast to...grandparents are not interested at all in my children, my mum died a few years ago, and she used to be the one who loved to hear about how they were getting on.

Sometimes you just want to tell people because you are so proud you could burst!

TheEasterQODdy · 22/03/2013 18:52

Yu need to have American Facebook friends .... It's utterly amazing how they are all Honor role students, all A grades again and just the most amazing child ever. All of them. Every single one.
It's the whole "no child left behind" thing over there (according to a sane friend whose DD's are actually pretty clever but she's just not into the bragging) they all have to be a success.
Lovely in a way, but really?

I want my dd to do well, but I'm bothered about behaviour and effort, not achievement

archfiend · 22/03/2013 18:54

Sleeting here too at the moment sparkling - going to get battered by snow tomorrow though

The vast majority of parents I know don't go on about their children, we might talk in private about a particular issue but there is this one parent who will engineer a conversation around to their DC no matter what you start talking about - 'dreadful weather isn't it?' 'Oh yes, of course as x's teacher was saying he has such an advanced understanding of weather/politics/maths/the environment...'. All very tiresome.

I don't do FB boasts - think that sharing achievements should be limited to people who may have an interest such as grandparents.

CredulousThicko · 22/03/2013 18:55

daisydoodoo Fri 22-Mar-13 18:11:46

"Its the fb announcements. Someone has posted that their 6 & 7 yr old ds' have got A's in all subjects. I didn't even realise school's graded primary school children like that. "

daisy, in my dc's school, they put 'A' with a circle round it next to work done. I too thought it meant 'grade A' at first and was chuffed to bits, until dc put me straight 'no mummy, it means 'achieved' " (as in, they have achieved their learning objective)

Thankfully I'm a facebook phobic so I didn't make a complete twat of myself by bragging about it

BalloonSlayer · 22/03/2013 19:00

I don't know anyone who brags. Although I am not on Facebook.

Floggingmolly · 22/03/2013 19:07

What sort of sorry arsehole posts on fb that their 6/7 year old got all A's?
They don't have that grading system at any primary school I've ever encountered.

Floggingmolly · 22/03/2013 19:08

Oh, Credulous, I've just seen your post. Brilliant

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