Anyone else fed up with hearing reading at home :(

[PeanutButterOnly]

DD(6.2) seem stuck with reading. We try most nights with her school reading books and some Usborne ones we have at home and I read other books with her too. But the hearing reading part still seems such a struggle. Sometimes she can remember the sounds, sometimes she's forgotten. Sometimes she still gets 'bs' and 'ds' the wrong way round etc. I feel like I should just relax a bit and not hear her reading so much for a while. It's getting me down. I feel like a lot of the responsibility for this struggle lies with me! Sorry, I've posted before and really I'm just clearing my head but anyone else feel the same? Maybe she's just not ready to progress. I'm finding it hard to be patient and I know this is the worst thing for her

Just to add, she won't read to anyone else the family, so DH doesn't get to participate

Could you maybe try alternating pages with her so you read one then she does. I know it means she's only reading half the book but the next night you could do it the other way round so she's reading different pages. Would she read to her favourite dolls/teddies? My dd is 5 and she loves to do this.

Perhaps she could go down a level so that she can read the books more easily and have a confidence boost? Why will she not read to her dad? Can you persuade or even bribe her to do this, he could give her loads of praise? Does your dd hate reading the books or is the problem more that you are stressed because you aren't seeing progress?

Thanks, she would love the idea of reading to her teddies. I think the reading books may be a bit hard. The system at her school is not linked particularly well to the sounds that they've been learning in phonics. They have books from various different schemes, old and new, each allocated a colour band. So it's a bit hit and miss as to whether the books match the level she's on. Maybe she should go down a stage but she was very pleased when the teacher moved her up before Christmas. All my children (we have 3 and she's the middle one) want to read with me rather than DH. I love reading with them but sometimes lack the energy at the end of the day!

Just a question, what's your dd's spelling like?

My dd is in Y1. We don't read everyday.
She gets a choice of whether to read her school book say Sat am or Sun am.
So if she doesn't want to on Sat, she gets a breezy 'time to read' Sun am. Refusal means she doesn't get to take part in days activities.

Get out baby books she may remember. My DD clicked with the That's not my.... books. The repetitiveness allowed her to read.

Go to water stones and just chill letting her look at books. Say she can choose one to buy. Don't make her read it, it's part of the message that's books are fun.

Can't you help her along when she gets stuck in order to give both of you a break? You could teach her the bed trick with the hands to sort out the b/d confusion.

There is a fab set of books called the usborne very first reading set which has pages for you to read to her and pages (the early ones start with just four or five words) for her to read to you...

It might be worth giving those a go.

DD used to want to read with me every night (but would not read to herself or anyone else apart from her teacher) so I lied suggested that her teacher thought she was a very good reader but wanted her to read to herself, a teddy or the cat sometimes. She believed me and now does it!!

Could you break the routine and listen to her every other night instead? Sometimes Y1 and 1 get a bit fed up with the routine and do some maths or practice looking things up in a dictionary instead.

Are you generally happy with her standard of reading, or is it worth speaking with the teacher?

Also maybe read every day but for a shorter time iyswim, maybe 5 mins every day instead of 10??

Read some of the school book and then continue on the next day...

Why won't she read to your Dh?

I would get her reading to DH/grandparents/whoever else wants to hear. I wouldn't give her a choice. Start with DH. If she is reticent then DH can read to her and she can just read say 2 pages to start with and then gradually build up. Maybe as a concession she could choose what she likes- completely free choice- to read to DH to start with at least- have a few easy books/old favourites she can manage that she could start with to take the pressure off.

Apart from that can you take a step back, get some books from the library or elsewhere that are of a better standard for her- ie she can manage quite well so it is more enjoyable and less of a struggle (try the Oxford Owl website for an idea of "levels" if you like). Then, perhaps if there are weaknesses, you can work on these and consolidate before moving on. Ie walk before you run.

Don't know if any of that is helpful. I wouldn't struggle every night though, that's not the message you want for reading. And chat about the book rather than just about the reading, so it becomes more of a "whole" experience than an exercise.

Thanks everyone for the good advice. We have the Usborne very first reading set. She has got very attached to them but some of them are too tricky for her. She likes to start at book one and progress through them day-by-day and then start again at the beginning. So when we get to the harder ones it becomes slow! Each day she also likes to do her school book (very determined about needing to change her book every day at school) and then I often read something else to her. No wonder it's taking a long time and out of necessity it's always when we're both tired! Will get her to read with DH sometimes when he's home in time and we'll go to the library and try to broaden the focus of it. We have got stuck on the mechanics of decoding I think.

Changing books every day is quite a lot- you could take the pressure off by telling her and her teacher that 2 or 3 times a week would suit her better (DS's school does twice a week). It's hard if that's the culture (ie every day), but if it's not working for you and your DD it's definitely worth going against the grain, it would be win win for both of you.

There would then be be more time to read for pleasure (ie not a school book, or you could still hear her school book, just less of it, or a different book).

Do you share reading as well? Quite good fun if you can read a book together, you read quite a bit, then she reads whatever she can manage- if the book is harder she can just read the words she knows/just an odd word, and you can fill in the rest. Mix it up a bit and have some fun. Enjoy!

I think the library is a good idea. I wonder if you would be better to let her choose lots of books at our just under her current ability level to build her confidence and joy in reading.

Is she a bit of a perfectionist? I am and find making lots of mistakes a little depressing and am, therefore, more likely to invest less effort. I know that you learn through your mistakes, but when I learn a new skill I find that I need to master each level completely before moving onto the next in order to maintain the enjoyment in what I am learning. Just a thought.

I think we're both perfectionists! At school they change their books independently so she chooses to change it every day. She has a routine when she goes in, doing everything in the same order every day, which includes the reading book! I think I'll try and get her to change them less often so we can read them more slowly and less often. I'll also speak to her teacher again and we'll try to slow her down. Thanks all.

We used reading eggs, on the computer, it really helped both dc and they really enjoyed it.

Funny really because her elder brother was disorganised in Year 1 and I had to go in and change his book with him. And yet he seemed to pick up reading without me worrying too much.

I have a feeling this might be controversial, but there is a school of thought that suggests that children should start learning to read with the phonics based system then move onto the old-fashioned look-say approach. The theory is that it stops them getting bogged down in the analytical nitty gritty of more advanced phonics.

If she was progressing normally until this stage it might be worth considering this, either as something to chat to her teacher about or something to work on at home.

Hello OP. IME (HT for a long time)... This is v common at this age. I always advise giving up daily reading for a week or two completely and dong another activity instead, eg puzzles, word searches, play cards etc. Then re - introduce reading but with you reading the books not your child. I.e you sit down all snuggle and low stress, read book form school with plenty of chat interspersed, ' ooh look at that funny jumper that lady is wearing etc' in the pictures, read text pointing at words but absolutely no expectation that your child joins in, close book when finished and do not make big deal out of the session. Write in child's reading record 'we read this together'. Keep it all low key and no pressure. After about a month of this, gently re-introduce child doing bit of the book, but again low stress e.g can you read this bit whilst I blow my nose/ drink my tea. Build up very gradually until child reading majority of book again. Main thing is no pressure. After about 6 weeks or so they all get back on track and off they go again.

Perfectionsim really is the enemy of progress for a lot of children... All gets too intense for them esp When they are little.

Sorry about typos... Ipad playing up.

When Ds hit a brick wall with new reading level, my mum (v experienced teacher) got him to read first 5-6 pages or so, then took him back and got him to reread them again. Really boosted his confidence.

For similar reasons I would try to persuade your dd to keep the same book for longer, our school likes them to read each book a few times before changing it.

Thanks again. Think we will give ourselves a break and do some other activities for a while. Today I gently suggested she might keep the school reading book longer than one day each and determined thing said "No" and then "I'll bring you two books if you like" the emphasis on the "bring you"