Wee accident in reception...advice needed please

[neverwhere]

My DS1 (4) started reception in September and seems to be settling well. He usually wants to wee as soon as we reach home after school. We live about 5 minutes from school so it is not a long walk. Yesterday he had an accident just outside our door. I advised him to use the toilet in school or at least let me know when still in school.

Today, after we left school he said that he had an accident in the school hall during lunch. He says he told the dinner lady who told him that he could get changed when he went home. I can't imagine that they expected him to be in wet clothes for more than two hours.

I have advised him to use the toilet as soon as he needs it and not wait for long (which is what he usually does even at home). He has spare pants in his PE bag at school and I am planning on leaving a complete set of uniform for him in school just in case. I will be having a word with his teacher tomorrow. I would like to know if it is normal for children to be just left in wet uniform if they have an accident. I wish they had at least called me and I could have gone over with fresh clothes. :(

No it's absolutely not normal for a child to be left in wet clothes for 2 hours . Maybe wires were crossed and te dinner staff didn't realise he had wet himself ? Make sure the school are aware it happened.
Definitely go in and speak to the teacher- maybe suggest they send him for a wee before playtimes/ lunchtimes?
Don't worry by the way, it's totally normal and common for children to have accidents in reception, and totally normal for children to be reluctant to use the loo at school in the first couple of terms of reception.

I work in Foundation Stage and if we know a child is wet or they tell us they are wet we will change them. However it may be an isolated incident where the dinner lady wasn't able to access a change of clothes and then forgot to tell the teacher/TA at hand over.

My DD is now in Yr 1. She get urine infections occaionally, She had a few accidents and, during one infection, wet herself a couple of times in a day. The teacher and/or TA just discreetly changed her and sent her wet clothes home in a bag - I had already sent in spares as urine infections affect her continence quite badly, but the school also have spare clothes.

Personally, I would be really saddened and concerned if she was told to sit in her own urine soaked uniform until the end of the day. Hopefully it was crossed wires/miscommunication, but I would definitely raise it with the teacher.

gets not get!

no, not ok! Definitely mention it. did he say something like 'i'm wet' maybe and she thought he'd spilled his drink or something? If not, then that is awful. Please don't worry about the accidents though, so common, esp in boys.

Thanks Littleplasticpeople and beamme.

Am I right in understanding that the children are generally encouraged to use the toilets at certain times (like snack time, before lunch) and at other times they have to ask the teacher/TA permission? DS is shy and may not be keen on asking for permission.

I will request the teacher to encourage/remind him to use the toilet before play/ lunch.

We let our children go when they need to, the only time they have to ask is if we're on the carpet, outside or in pe. Unfortunately some schools are quite strict as to when children can go but if you make the teacher aware they should try to make it easier

DS had quite a few accidents in reception. I told his teacher and TA that he sometimes ignored it when he needed the toilets and waited so long that he could not make it on time so please encourage him to go even if he denied needing a wee when he was fidgetty / squirming on his chair as he often showed obvious signs. They looked understanding and happy to be asked to tell him to just go if he seemed to need the loo and incidents reduced a lot after this. I also left a full set of uniform in his PE kit just in case, and his teacher and DS knew that it was there. I did not make a big fuss when he came home with a bag of wet clothes handed discreetly by teachers. I would have made a massive fuss if they kept him in wet clothes as he stays in after school club several evenings a week and this is unhygienic and humiliating.

Some young children cannot get there on time , or dislike interrupting what they are doing, or are too shy to ask, or realise it too late. A reward chart for dry days may encourage to stay dry, but sometimes they just need to get time for their bladder to mature.

In Year 1, DS is young for his year so just over 5, there are no more incidents.

If he was wet when you picked him up you should have gone in there and then to find out what had happened. If he was very wet then I'm sure someone would have picked up on it this afternoon. I think there was a communication problem at lunch time - no MSA would say that! And no, it's not normal for a child to be left in wet clothes but sometimes unless the child mentions it it might go unnoticed.

Thanks for all the replies.

LeeCoakley,
I did not find anything odd at pick-up as his trousers were not wet. Noticed that his underpants/socks were soaking wet at home. Hopefully, it was a communication problem.

I work in foundation stage and we let children go whenever they want and also just before snack times and dinner times. Some schools don't have set snack times, just a snack bar where children can get snacks anytime they want -to encourage independence. Yes, definitely speak to the teacher esp if they have a snack bar because not all children are good at going when they need to.

I should think that it was a genuine mistake about the dinner lady. Were his clothes smelly? As far as I know each school should have a policy about what staff should do if children have wet or soiled themselves. For example, we call parents if child has soiled themselves. Schools also tend to have spare clothes, although it is a good idea to send spares yourself.

Oops, x-post re: wet, smelly clothes.

Poor boy, hopefully he is not too upset about it.

dinner lady may have misunderstood and thought he had spilled drink - the most common reason for wet shorts at lunchtime. If we sent them all to get changed when they have spilt some of their drink.... there would hardly be a year R left in the hall some days.

I'd agree with the spilled drink thing, my DS had an accident at snack time when he'd had juice so I guess they thought he'd spilled some. I discovered he hadn't asked to go because he didn't like the hall pass as it got in the way when he went to the toilet!