Is this bullying? And lost property!!

[MummyPig24]

Ds started reception a few weeks ago, getting on great, was in nursery class last year so area and teachers familiar. New children joined the class this year, ds getting on with all well but one of the new boys older brothers (yr 2) is not being nice. A friends ds was treated unkindly by him and now my ds is. This older boy punches him in the stomach, is reprimanded by a teacher and then chases ds down to punch him again. He scratches him and makes nasty comments like encourhing everyone to say his lunch is "Yuk". Ds is adamant he doesn't want me to talk to his teacher (he is fearful this boy will target him more if I do). But I feel i must bring it up, would you?

Also, ds backpack has disappeared from his peg. He keeps spare clothes in it, it does not come home and he has not had his clothes changed but it has gone. The only one in the cloakroom that is missing is his. He said its in year 2 but he doesn't go into year 2. Made teacher aware but was not there at pick up so obviously not found. What can I do next about this? It has his name on.

I would bring it up but ask the teacher to be sensitive about it (ie not call in boy and say 'DS says you did X'), though I would imagine they would anyway?

re backpack, have another word with the teacher (or put a note in his diary or however you are supposed to communicate - writing might be better in case he/she forgets)?

Is there are lost property box in the office??

It might be worth looking in there.

Or maybe go to the yr2 classroom yourself and look.

I would definitely say something to the teacher re the hitting etc... I think a reception age child is too small to deal with it themselves esp if the child is older...

Yes, at this age go in and say. A similar thing happened to my DS in a new school in yr 1 and a few simple words sorted it once and for all.

My eldest was in year 2 and his brother was in reception. DS1 started picking on Ds2 friend in the playground. His mum said something to me and I dealt with it. All that was needed was a stern word and he stopped. DS1 is socially inept and it was his way of playing with his brother and friends, who is much more socially able. I would imagine that the big brother is finding it tricky to settle, by the time kids get to yr 2 they tend to have established friendships, reception is more fluid.

Do have a word with teacher but try and frame it in your son is finding his attentions difficult, don't accuse him of bullying. Good luck.

You are the parent and need to make final decisions. In your shoes I would ring the school and explain the situation - list all the incidents one by one in detail. Yes the boy is clearly bullying your son and that isn't acceptable. The bully needs a firm hand. You could also request that DS is not to know that you rang. At the end of the day your DS needs to know that bullying behavior will be sorted out and shouldn't be tolerated.

I don't believe in being soft on bullies !!

Definitely speak to the school. This needs stopping.

Thank you for the replies. I will try and have a quick chat with ds teacher today. She is deputy head too. It breaks my heart when ds is saying "please, please don't tell my teacher" :-(. Defo want to fins his backpack too I'll be peeved if I dont!

I would have a chat with the teacher. Though I'd suspect the packpack going missing (are they all the same/school logo?) is probably someone taking it home by accident.

Well I spoke to the teacher who was pleased that I did. She was very sorry to hear about it and agreed that she didn't wantit to taint ds experience at school. She said that it would be sorted out. As for the backpack, they are not all the same. His is a black spiderman one with his name on the front. Lord knows where it is but hoping it turns up!

My DD was begging me not to go in about an issue last week. She is 12. I went in, told the head of year my concerns, and she lsitened and then told me that she would not speak to the girl in question as she didn't want to make things worse .

I hope your ds's situation is resolved.

His backpack will turn up at the end of the year.

Well he said that today X punched him in the balls! X's teacher had obviously been asked to monitor lunchtime as she put him in time out. He didn't retaliate to ds "telling on him" which is an improvement. I actually know X's teacher well socially, should I have a word with her outside of school and see if she can shed any light?

Exit how do they propose to rectify your dds situation if they wont approach the girl in question?

I have no idea. They refuse to accept that it is bullying. They think my DD is a strong character and that there is no issue. The fact that this particular girl has been goading her for the last 6 years is the reason I went in (with all guns firing ) to put a marker in the sand.

And yet by refusing to talk to the other girl surely they are implicitly admitting that she is an issue? Or is that just me thinking too much upon the event?