Help! Second time I've been called aside by ds1 teacher

[hugandroll]

Ds1 started yR in September this year. Since he started I've been pulled to one side by his lovely teacher due to some personal issues rather than educational.

The first is when ds1 has a poo in school he isn't wiping his bottom. He does most of the time at home but usually only if its a clean break. I am planning on getting moist toilet tissue for him to use until he has fully got the hang of it but are there any other suggestions for this?

Second, he gets his willy out wherever he is. This isn't a "new" thing and we have struggled to stop it for a while. We have tried telling off, ignoring, just flatly telling him to put it away but he doesn't seem to understand its wrong. Tonight I explained that you are only to get it out to have a wee and other than that its to stay in his pants.

Last he will sometimes refuse to dress himself. He can do it but the worst is his coat, he point blank refuses and tells me or his teacher to do it.

I am not a push over parent and I'm fairly strict and he normally does what he's asked/told so these issues for me are very frustrating.

I've chatted with him about all the above and will be doing a sticker chart. His teacher is fab and we will be working together to get it sorted but has anyone had similar issues with their child and managed to get it sorted? Could it be because he's left handed and me and dh are both right so not showing him well enough for his dexterity? (Not the willy thing obv)

Please help, it's so embarrassing.

Apologies for any spelling and grammar errors on iPhone and holding teething, tired and grumpy 5 month old.

Maybe he is regressing a bit because of the new baby? This is really normal. I'm sorry you're going through it.

I'm not sure what to suggest, in terms of helpful stuff but that might be something to do with it - basically he feels a bit too old for his liking, because of the new one, and is using behaviour suited to a slightly younger child, to comfort himself.

It does pass, and he will be alright but it's getting through this stage that is your issue right now and it sounds like school is sympathetic and on board.

Fwiw my own ds2 can't wipe his own bottom yet. I think his arms are too short

He seems to only poo at home though, thank GOD. But some in his class still wear pull ups, etc. It's by no means a universal skill in YR.

Thanks for your response ed. Since writing this I observed a bum wiping and it is as if his arms are too short too! Will just persevere and remind myself he's only 4 when I get frustrated.

Yes they are very little. (the children I mean, not the arms!) well both really...

he is only four, you're right. Teachers of YR should be used to this sort of thing. He's not unusual.

I still wipe my Yr R's bum. Could you encourage him to try to hold it til he gets home? My oldest did this, and has trained himself to go last thing at night now.

Please don't encourage your child to hold his poo in until he gets home - it's really not good for the bowel. Just keep practising thenbottom wiping at home.

My Y1 DD still doesn't wipe her bum at school (or if she does she does a very poor job of it). She does it fine at home but then we let her use moist wipes at home & I think she does struggle with normal toilet paper so putting some moist wipes in the bag may help with this (although my DD always 'forgets' to take them into the toilet with her or says she didn't know she was going to do a poo until she was already sat on the toilet ). I am curious though, how your DSs teacher is aware of this problem? I'm only aware of my DDs problem by the state of her knickers when she undresses at the end of the day .

Can't help with the willy thing I'm afraid - I have 2 DDs .

FWIW, I don't think any of the issues you've mentioned are particularly unusual in a YR child & reception teachers should be well prepared to deal with them.

Sorry, I didn't mean that I encourage him not to go at school - it's just what he naturally does. If he goes he goes and we'd deal with it - I agree they should be able to whenever it's needed.

I think they know because his hands go down there if his bums not clean his hands tell the tail .

I would never tell him to hold it, when you've got to go you've got to go!

moist loo roll - can he have a stash at school? we did for our DS but to be honest he too trained himself to only go at home! Apparently loos are "yuk"!

Willy thing - we had a bit of that. It too shall pass.

Don't worry! We did the "put that away" route, not too much discussion.

Good luck - he is only little!

Thanks raisin will ask if its ok to take some in.