how can I help DS?

[JjandtheBeanlovesUnicorns]

He was 4 in july, and started full time reception this september. He was premature but seems to have caught up in most areas, his speech is almost there even though he was mute until 3.

Thing is we've now entered into the joy of phonics, reading and learning words,

He does very well repeating sounds but doesn't reconise the letters except S.

He's got the level 0 books so we talk about the pictures and he tells the story himself and I have questions to ask him.

Today we got a huge stack of words he's been learning at school, he sayes he doesn't know any he is too small and not clever :(

He is trying VERY hard to write and is finally starting to draw pictures instead of scribbling.

Please tell me how to help him, he really lacks confidence and I can't stand seeing it knocked further when other kids can read and write!

JJ, I may not have the best advice but wanted to reply as your ds sounds so like how my ds was in reception last year. We had the same "I'm too small and not clever" answers and yes his confidence has been knocked. There is such a huge variant in abilities in these early years and I think for most children these will even out given time but I understand your worries. I've posted recently as I'm now concerned about the progress ds is making in year 1.

I think your son sounds like he is doing just fine. He's settled in and is happy which is the most important thing. Plenty of praise for the work he does and the usual reading at home together to help his confidence. Although I'm worrying about my ds I can see there has been progress from when he started reception.

Thank you.

He got upset as one of the other children came out with his own sounds book and had written words with that sound in, I tried explaining he's the youngest in this class etc and we'll help him. Pointed out things he's good at. Over 60% of his class will be 5 by christmas so its quite an age gap.

Just can't help thinking if I've done something wrong or I could have done more --and wonder why I paid stupid amounts for an outstanding preschool where he clearly learnt nothing--

Have you tried watching the alphablocks on cbeebies/iplayer/you tube with him. I spent a bit of time doing this with my 4 year old and I am sure it has helped with recognising letters.

Jolly Phonics is great, because when the kid doesn't get the sound you do the action to help them. It sounds as if it is all going too fast for him at present. I would concentrate on just working on the sounds, and maybe play some games to see if he can hear the sounds in words. EG. you say "Snow" now what was the first sound in that? You can emphasis the sounds if you need to. The go onto last sounds, and then middle sounds (very tricky) eg. "cat" middle sound is "a".
Also read to him lots, and get him to find the words with letters/sounds in.
Also spend lots of time doing things he likes and is good at. Point out the advantages of being small, eg. play hide and seek, and praise him form hiding in a small place that Ezra couldn't have fitted into.

Really don't overdose on the parental guilt, it comes with the job, but at 18 the boy who knows all his sounds won't necessarily be achieving higher than your son.
This might even cheer you up.