Two incidents in a week, what would you do?

[Oneandnomore]

I noticed what I thought was a rash on DD's arm at teatime today. When I asked her about it, she said that a boy had bitten her. It is a red, full mouth mark. Needless to say, I was shocked and am very angry.

DD is 6, apparently the children were lining up ready to go inside after lunch. DD told a dinner lady, who told her to stay away from the boy.

I don't know what, if any discipline was given, I will go into school on Monday.

This is the second incident this week, on Tuesday she had to wear her PE shorts for the day as her school trousers had got wet when walking to school with the child minder. She was cold, when I asked her teacher about it and said that they surely could have rang me, or popped her some spares on, she was not concerned at all.

How should I approach this on Monday please? I will try and remain calm but really feel for DD right now.

The biting I would put down to experience, kids hit, bite,and kick each other. If it happens again then I would raise it with the school. But the shorts I'm a bit [hshock] at. Surely the school has clothes for when the children have accidents? In my dds' school they have jogging pants and school t-shirts that they put the children in when they wet their clothes. I would definitely raise that with her teacher, poor thing must have been freezing!

School won't tell you anything about the biter (obviously DD has told you who it is, but school can't). You can ask them if they have dealt with the incident and they can say yes (or no) but you won't find out anything else.

Did DD mention that she was cold to the teacher (did teacher even realise that she'd changed into shorts rather than wearing them into school) -f not it's very likely teacher did not know? Most of the girls at DD's school are wearing skirts/dresses with short socks atm - which wouldn't be any warmer than shorts and none of them are (presumably) cold.

The other way round here! I would take a photo of the bite mark if it is really bad and try and find out more about the incident. Biting isn't acceptable but it may have been a one off.
Re the trouser incident, I would be more cross with the childminder than the school. And if your DD was cold during the day, did she say anything to the teacher? Unless it was snowing or something I wouldn't really mind.

I have put a pair of joggers in DD's tray now, so she has them if need be. But you are right, school does have spares which is why I was too.

I accept that children do inflict injury on each other! But the bite mark is so red and prominent, it must have hurt her. Although she doesn't seem too bothered by it.

It started pouring down whilst walking to school. Am usually prepared with wellies etc, DD said that several teachers said to her she must be cold, so surely someone should have followed this up by checking if her trousers had dried, or supplying spares?

hocuspontas I was thinking about taking a photo so thanks for your advice.

Half the girls in my class are still wearing skirts. Should I phone all their parents and complain about their lack of parenting skills?

I'd be unhappy about both of these incidents.I think the school should have told you about the biting - not the details of the biter but just what had happened & what action they were taking to prevent it from happening again. I also think they could have given her a spare pair of trousers, but perhaps the childminder could have helped by asking for some?

I am going to speak with DD's teacher tomorrow. I realise I will only be told limited info and that is fine. I just want to know that the biting was addressed so the boy is aware that it is unacceptable.

On the biting - I would mention it. Maybe ask what the process is if something happens at dinner time (as they'd obviously give you an incident report if it happened in the classroom?)

On the shorts - I think you are right to supply spares now. It's not really the school's responsibility to make sure your child turns up wearing the right uniform. Mind you, I send my kids to a school where they have to wear shorts all year round, so perhaps I'm a bit of sadist!

I think biting in a 6yo is quite serious - I'd definitely be keeping a sharp eye. It's something they should outgrow by the time they are about 2, a child who bites at age 6 may well have issues socialising, be feeling very very stressed and need extra support in general.

On the spares, I'd agree that you should supply them and not rely on the school. The DDs always have trackie bottoms in regulation colours in their PE kit, and if they get soaked for whatever reason are allowed to wear those.