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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

I hate the school run ......

18 replies

babysbreath · 03/10/2011 18:35

Well the title says it all!

My dc has only been at reception for about three weeks, and I detest it already. I do hate having to make conversation. I just want to go down drop off or pick up and go. Thankfully I only have to do this twice a week.

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SoupDragon · 03/10/2011 18:38

So just drop off/pick and go.

Having said that, you do need to get to know the other parents in your child's class. There will be play dates, birthday parties and other social occasions your child will want to take part in. You don't need to get into long in-depth conversations, just make small talk. I forced myself to do this when my eldest started reception even though I am painfully shy.

SauvignonBlanche · 03/10/2011 18:40

I hate it too, so I get DH to do it.

sittinginthesun · 03/10/2011 18:44

I found the trick is to get on a fairly friendly basis with lots of people, then you can choose who to stand near. Some days, I feel like a chat, and go earlier to stand near my favourites. Others, I leave at the last second, exchange a few words with others and then run.

kickingking · 03/10/2011 19:31

Everyone just ignores me on the school run I only do it two days a week, maybe I haven't given it long enough?

rebl · 03/10/2011 19:40

I'm now a year into school runs and I do the drop and run. I sometimes speak to a couple of people but on the whole its a quick nod and smile and I'm out. I've found over the last year its easier this way. The playground politics are too much for me, I did school and playground games once, I don't need to do it all again as an adult.

blackeyedsusan · 03/10/2011 22:54

at least you are not having to go between 2 schools with 15minutes between shoving one child through the door of nursery and dropping the next in the playground at another a mile ( and 3 sets of traffic lights/2 junctions/ 2 crossing patrols) away. why did i do it?

Northumberlandlass · 04/10/2011 07:54

I can only do the school run on a Friday. I actually quite enjoy it, I usually have stuff to talk about with different people and end up still standing in the yard after the kids have gone in still talking.

I live in a small town though, the school is the one I went to as a child - I do see a lot of my old school friends there with kids.

I can see the school/ playground politics going on around me, but I don't get involved

Northernlurker · 04/10/2011 07:59

I'm not really doing it atm as dd2 is in year 6 so takes herself most of the time. DD3 starts next etrm though so I will be back in there and hopefully will bond wth parents of her contemporaries. It does suck if people don't speak to you at all.

needanewname · 04/10/2011 08:02

I love the school run! Maybe I'm mad

I don't really see any playground politics, there are certain parents I get on really well with but I speak to everyone.

I did talk to dh about the DDs doing breakfast club but we decided the cost was an issue, plus we'd miss seeing everyone!

I would suggest making an effort as these other parents are going to be in your life for a fee years, you never know they could become really good friends

Whippet · 04/10/2011 09:37

I've never been a great fan of the school run, and have been doing it for 8 years now!

Problem is that I work from home, and spend most of the day at my desk alone, so the transition from that to a playground full of people is quite 'sudden' and hard. I wouldn't say I'm a shy person, but when my brain is full of 'work' stuff I find it hard to 'switch' to playground banter.
I literally sit in the car, breath deeply and force myself to 'think sociable' mode... and sometimes I think of a couple of things ("objectives" !) I want to talk to someone about. Then I stride in, looking for someone I know from a distance and pretty much march up to them saying "Hi, X - I wanted to catch you.... I 've been meaning to ask you for the name of that xxxx you hired" (or something similar...)

Seems to work, but sometimes I feel like such a 'fake', and I can't wait to scuttle back to the car

merrymonsters · 04/10/2011 16:55

I bet in a few months you'll be on here complaining about how unfriendly and 'cliquey' the other parents are. You'll also be complaining that your child isn't being invited to playdates. It is much better if you try to get along with these people, some of whom will be involved with your children for such a long time. It is much nicer for children if they can go to friends' houses or have friends back to their house.

Have these people actually done anything to you or are you just assuming that you won't like them? I've never seen any 'playground politics' at our school.

Tgger · 04/10/2011 19:24

I recommend meditation. . Seriously though, you don't have to chat, you don't have to do anything. I quite like it, but actually DS has been off school the last 2 days and it's been nice not having to meet people!!!!

3duracellbunnies · 04/10/2011 19:58

I found at first it was hard, but I concentrated on the parents dd1 was befriending, it helps with play dates and knowing how much to encourage friendships etc. You can't choose their friends but you can have some over more than others!

Eveiebaby · 04/10/2011 22:09

I wouldn't dwell on it too much! I usually just drop and run - some parents can be a bit frosty but I just ignore them. There are a few I just say hello to and two or three I might chat a bit more too but they are the ones I knew from the local area before DD actually started school.
I know some mums actually turn up about 15 minutes before pick up time just to chat in the playground to whatever other parents may be around but I guess it's each to their own - some mums lives are centered around school drop offs and pick ups - others aren't. Personally I don't feel it affects childrens friendships because you just can't pick your childs friends. You may be able to in the early years but from experiences I have heard about by year 3 your kids will know who they like and who they like not so much!

bubby64 · 04/10/2011 22:51

Must admit I enjoy it, but only do it twice a week, as work the other 3 days.
If i feel like a chat, i go to the middle of the group, if not, I hang around the edge. Mind you, dc are at fairly small school, with a friendly group of parents, so we mostly know each other, and we always make an effort to include any new mums in the chat.

Eveiebaby · 04/10/2011 23:26

Yes bubby that is so nice to make an effort to include new mums in the chat a lot of groups do not make the effort!

sunnydelight · 04/10/2011 23:40

My kids get the bus, and now I'm working I don't even get to do the occasional drop off even if I wanted to. I quite miss the chat and the possibility of a coffee and natter in the morning. Come afternoon though I am so grateful not to have to do pick up!

bacon · 05/10/2011 23:44

I only do 2 days as DS gets transport for the rest.

I also hate it, not for the social side as I decided that I wouldnt be ignored and have taken on the confident attitude and bulldozed in. Once in your fine but ignoring and being ignorant just isnt worth the 'feeling outside and not in the clique' For your own sake and childrens it pays to make the effort as eventually you'll be going to parties etc. We have our own FB page so we chat, make comments (very PC) and share our anxieties too.

I hate the hassle, parking, the walk, hanging around, then driving all the way back. Getting the toddler sorted and the shouting and battling to get in the car. Then turn around at 3pm and return. Not enjoyable.

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