does anyone ever move schools mid-term?

[angelinterceptor]

Don't know what to do. DD age nearly 8 is really unhappy at school; she has no friends as has pushed them all away i think, due to her bossy assertive ways.
Last term she didnt get on well with the teacher, who found fault with everything, even when my DD tried to please her - and although its minor, she never was rewarded with the high achiever or star of the week. (i know this means nothing, but it was important to her).

on advice from MN last term I brought it to the attention of head teacher, and said she wasn't happy and what did he suggest we could do about it.

This year she has 2 teachers on a job-share arrangement - they both seem really nice and are aware that she is a reluctant school attender and about the friends issue.

Is it like running away, if we just move to a different school and start over. I feel that she can't ever win round or change her 'bossy' reputation by staying at current school. There is small possibility of changing class, but i dont know if that would solve it.

2 local schools both have spaces available to move to - but maybe we should stay put and try to sort something out

We moved school and it was the best thing I ever did.

I have 3 kids and they all settled very well.

The school is so much better. Every day I am thankful I made the decision to move them there.

Go and look at the schools and talk about your daughter with the teachers there and how they can help her.

Moving mid-term isn't a problem. But you don't want to leap out of the frying pan into the fire.

the thing is its a great school, my DS was there for 7 years and he loved it, I loved it and it has good facilities.

i would probably have to move her to a smaller school, maybe more disciplined and smaller year groups would help her. Currently there are 3 classes in her year

Don't forget that what is right for one child may not be right for another. I moved my dd mid way through year 5 and it was the best thing we did. It's not running away and could give her a fresh start and let her re-invent herself

thanks mixmouse thats the kind of answer i was hoping for.

one of the schools are having an open day next week, its during the morning so I would have to take DD out of school for an hour or so - but it would be good to see the school for myself in action as it were.

I like the idea of her having a fresh start - I mean she is trying really hard, but its almost as if everyone has made their minds up about her already.

We moved dd2 after easter in year 1 having been happy with the school (infant) for dd1 Best choice we ever made and I have not once regretted it.

I think taking her to see the school during the open day is a great idea but I would also suggest getting her to spend a day there to see.

What are you doing to help her with her " assertive" ways? so she isnt in the same situation in a years time?

Well we are emphasising letting everyone have a point of view. Letting others choose what game to play, DVD to watch etc

I think we will definitely do the open day next week. And the other school ( all girls don't know if that will be worse or better) have offered a raster day.

Wish I didn't have to do this as the local
Primary is a great school and we can walk to it before I go on to work. The 2 other schools are 5 & 10 miles away.

I moved my son in the feb of his yr1. so virtually half way through the school year....BEST thing i EVER did for him.

granted the circumstances were completely different than yours (cr*p school, treated like the bully not the victim, not on the SN register even though hes got a lifelong VI, not helping him with IEP, not listening when i said i think theres more to it..........etc)
This new school is AMAZING in comparison to the other, they have done everything for him and his behaviour has improved so much (at school lol) they have even got him to read and write!!

all i can say is TRUST YOURSELF!
thats all i ever say to my friends when they have little ones or are pg or thinking about it etc......mums know best, you know your child beter than anyone and if you truely think its the right thing, then trust your gut instinct!

hope it all works out xx

We moved our DS in October last year, he had only been at the school since September but it was the best thing we have ever done for him. Same as you meant we had to drive 5 miles rather than walk, but the other children didn't know what he had been through it was a fresh start and by the end of the year my scared bullied child turned into the most confident most popular child in the class.

I remembered that I started this thead back in September - just a quick update really.
We have been to see 2 schools before Christmas, and 2 more coming up this month. I wasn't blown away by the 2 which I have already seen, which is why we haven't made the move yet.

My DD is still really unhappy at school, and the only good thing is it hasn't affected her work yet. She is top group for maths, reading etc.

Since the start of this term again, we have had tears most days on the way to school, and a talk with one teacher and a note home from the other one. Teacher says DD is sad and doesn't want to play outside at lunchtimes and what did I suggest doing about it? I said I was aware she is lonely and that the other girls won't let her join in any games. There is one ringleader who tells some of the others not to let DD join in, and then the other girls saying things like " sorry its a 2 person game, you can't join in".

The teacher went on to say, perhaps its my DDs fault as she is so sporty! FFS why would that be a problem, and in any case she as much of a girly girl as the rest of them.

The note home, asked for me to speak to DD to make sure she joins in and doesn't become more isolated.

She never gets picked to do anything important, or get any of the little jobs around the classroom. I thought that kind of thing would help her fit in, and feel special.

Outside of school, my DD is very sociable and great fun and very lively - I hate to see her spirit being broken like this at school. They are effectively saying either she fits in, or she will be left out.

The teacher accused me of running away, if we move schools - and that it wouldnt be any better as its my DD who is the problem, not the other children.

Sorry for long rant - I just don't know what to do for the best, but don't want another 3 years of this before she moves to high school.
thanks

Well I hope that one of the 2 other schools you are going to see is good, because my gut reaction from reading the above post is - what are you waiting for!! Move her!

Her teacher sound crap tbh - why write to you, asking YOU to make sure she joins in at break time!? How the hell are you supposed to do that? You are not at the school are you - the teachers are. And how can your dd join in if the others won't let her?

Also, who gives a shit what the teacher thinks about her moving schools? She is your daughter and only you know what is right for her. It is not running away, it is moving her to an environment where her spirit won't be broken and where she will have some friends who include her in their games.

I recently moved my dd (yr 3, nearly 8) to a new (much better) school but she found the whole fitting in thing hard to start with. She was very bossy and over confident - which was basically her way of coping with not feeling included. It made her appear unfriendly and some of the boys started picking on her - which of course made her more unhappy.

She, however, has a brilliant teacher and a FANTASTIC TA who can see why these things are happening and is helping her to find ways to deal with it. She writes in her special diary 2-3 times a week, telling me who she has played with, her score out of 5 for the day and last week set her a 'challenge', which was to smile every time she saw her. We have had long chats with her about bossiness and this term she is making a real effort to calm down a bit with everything. Already she is feeling more popular and has had tea invites from 2 different girls.

I guess my dd hasn't been at her school as long as your dd has hers, so the perceptions of the other children are not so ingrained. But if you truly think she will always be seen as 'too bossy' and will never fit in and always be isolated, please think hard about a different school. 3 years is a long time to be so unhappy.

We moved DS at the Oct half-term of yr2 due to bullying. (Socially isolating at playtime is a form of bullying.) Haven't looked back from day1.

Your DD's teacher sounds hopeless. It took me 2 terms to realise the school just wasn't interested in following it's own policy and providing a safe/caring environment for all. After we had left it was amazing how many other stories we heard of families who had had similar problems.

I think that we are about to do this and have posted about it before. We are in a very similar situation with yr1 DD. I have an appointment tomorrow with our first choice school and have 2 other tours lined up for next week. I am hoping that tomorrows school will have her in for a taster day ASAP, preferably next week, and that we will be able to get her moved by half term at the latest. Originally I was thinking September, then April and on my mums advice I am going to do it as soon as we have an offer from a suitable school. I am going to let her have a couple of days to say good bye, a day at home to buy uniform and then get her started. I cannot put her through the misery she is currently going through for any longer than necessary.

I would think hard about the couple of days to say goodbye but you know your DD best. If she has a couple of nice friends they can always come for a play in a couple of weeks when she has settled a bit.

Your LEA may say wait for a term start eg after Easter hols but I found out that if the receiving head will take you then asap can readily be arranged. (It's only term starts for their finances.)

Would you just leave then? We are moving her to a private school which has places so it shouldn't be a problem to start mid term, I imagine they will want the money.

Would you just leave then? We are moving her to a private school which has places so it shouldn't be a problem to start mid term, I imagine they will want the money.

kerryblue your DD sounds just like my DD, her confidence seems to put some people off - but actually i think she is quite shy underneath and its her way of coping and trying to fit it. Actually i think she wants to be polular and can't realise that it won't happen.

last night was her open day at current school, and she wanted me to see round her classroom, she had volunteered to be one of the pupils in the room to demonstrate things. But of course, as per usual she wasnt picked.

When we went in, I could see her face and her smile disappeared as she saw the usual girl and her old friend laughing and playing with the teacher. It wasnt the time or place to speak to anyone, so I didn't make a fuss. But it broke my heart to see DD, normally so active and outgoing, a shell of her normal self inside that classroom.

I think you are all correct, I need to reach a decision sooner rather than later. There is only one other local state school, which we have to view still - the others are all fee paying - and would cost around £3500 per year plus requrie extra travelling time etc.

maybetimeforachange the fee paying schools I visited already would both take a new pupil at any stage, no need to wait for half term or end of term in either case.

Our situation is the same, down to the fees. Tbh we can afford the fees, it isn't ideal but the decent schools near us have long waiting lists and i am not prepared to wait. From what you say, it sounds like you should move her. I have been procrastinating about moving her for over a year and semi looked at a few schools last March. Now that we have made the decision I am very excited about it, the fact that means going private has ceased to be an issue, I am just thankful we can afford to do it. I know that if, for example, the school managed to persuade me that they could sort it out I would still be back in this position in 3 months time and for me, it is key to get her moved in yr1 as if we wait much longer the schools will start asking for her to sit exams which I don't want her to do.

Today, my DD came home from school and as usual I asked her did she have a nice day. How did it go at lunchtime and so on.

DD said she told the teacher (its a job-share so she only has this one on Thurs & Fridays) " I don't have anyone to play with" the teacher replied "That's probably because you are a bossy boots".

DD is very upset that the teacher would call her that, and says she wants an apology. I just think considering all the problems we are having, that it wasn't the most sensible thing to say to DD really, yes she likes to organise, call her bossy if you like, but how come little boys are never called bossy?

The teacher sounds truly dreadful ! My son has a tendency to be bossy and I told him to say to anyone who teases him that he is just organised ! That should

shut the teacher up .

Another update.

My DD has her last day at current school tomorrow. Things didn't improve despite another meeting with the teacher. They are not following their own school ethos at all.

DD starts at a new school after half term and is so excited and looking forward to it.

Thanks to all who gave advice and shared their opinions and stories.

I moved my son.

It was a good move. Good luck.

emmash2010, I just looked at your survey and I'm not sure you're asking the right questions tbh.

What do you mean by 'expectations' for example? Which audience are you addressing this to? I think you might have an audience in mind, even if unconsciously.

Just wondering.

Also, what about women like me whose DCs are now in secondary, but who have vivid memory of Primary and getting them into Year 7?