Any Mums in Scotland - DS started P1 and struggling

[rookiemater]

DS started P1 on 25th Aug and he is hating it!
He went to preschool at the same place and loved it there, but all of his friends are in different classes. I know the school has a policy of doing this, so I'm sure its for the best but it just seems so harsh because he is a boy who likes security.
They start from the off with full days so I know that he is very tired, we are making some changes this week like making sure he is in bed earlier than usual and thinking about cancelling the new football class he is signed up for because although apparently he was very good but he didn't enjoy it and said it was hard work.Even with that in account he just seems so negative about all aspects of it - is this normal and anything else we can do to help DS?

Is your DS one of the youngest in the year? I think the transition can be hardest on them. It's tough that he starts off with full days. We had half days here until September and it did make it easier. I would try and arrange some playdates with other kids in his class, probably on a Saturday morning if he is shattered after school. He'll probably be fine in a few weeks once he gets used to the new routine.

Thanks jaffa, no he isn't particularly young, his birthday was at the end of March.

I spoke to the teacher and she thinks he is getting on fine, I have just cancelled football on Thursday evenings for him as I think he is tired. I did ask if he wanted someone round to play from his class, but he hasn't mentioned anyone yet, but I could maybe try again asking next week.

I can now see why schools do half days for the first few weeks, I just wish as they are in for full days they could spend some of that time getting to know the others in play rather than doing full on lessons for the whole day. Am I being PFB sigh, I thought he would settle in just fine. Still apparently some of the other children are still crying every morning so at least it isn't that bad!

I think the new curriculum for excellence is much more play based, are you working rookiemater? Do you know other Mum's with dc in your sons class, and do you see them in the playground? Invite his old friends round too if he would like that.

I think extra-curricular activities can be too much when they are getting used to the full day of school.

If you have a homework diary it might be worth writing a wee note to the teacher just to say you are concerned because he does seem unhappy?

We have a short parent teacher meeting next week to let us know how our dc are settling in to the new term and class - does your school do that?

Is it a state school? Because there should be a LOT of play. It does take a while for them to get to know each other though.

Hi Banana/Tapsel It's not a state school,but there maybe is a lot of play and it's just not getting reported back to me.

I'm just getting to know the other mums in the playground but he absolutely loves playing with the neighbourhood boys, there is a big gang of about 10 of them and they usually end up at our house ( not sure why perhaps I am being too welcoming or something) playing lego or some tag game. I'm conscious that I don't want to erode into that time too much with structured playdates because he has to go to afterschool 2 days a week - I work but p/t hours to fit round school as much as I can.

I spoke to the teacher this morning and she said I should be encouraging him to be independant and not hanging around when I drop him off to encourage him to grow up quicker, he's only 5 it seems a shame that he has to grow up quickly

There is a parents evening next week, not a 121 but more a group thing so I will see how that goes, I'm sure he will be fine but I hate to see him unhappy.

I can't really help, not knowing the structure of the day is hard, and the teacher is not exactly sounding very approachable - I am assuming your ds is only 5, so he has plenty of time to become independent, I wouldn't be happy with the teacher's comment, not exactly constructive.

Are you having concerns about your choice of school, or in spite of what is happening are you still confident it is a good place for your son?

It is early days, he may settle well, but it could take months.... I feel for you, so hard send your child to school, if they are not happy that makes it a lot worse.

Hi tapsel I will find more out about the structure at the parents evening hopefully, its next week.

It has a very good reputation as a school, they do seem very keen on the DCs playing with lots of other children rather than forming one or two friendships which I can see why they encourage, but surely a lot of that is down to personality rather than socialisation skills?
It does seem traditional in its approach, I'm sure DS will be fine once he settles, funnily enough I was not in the least bit emotional or apprehensive about him going as I thought it would be very similar to preschool except in a uniform, but it does seem to be a lot different.

It could be the shock of going from preschool to full days at school. Some children who have been brilliant at nursery, suddenly struggle with the more structured environment of when they go in and empty their bags. I usually say children start to settle around the September weekend. It does have more play in P1 but the structure from nursery to P1 is massive and can be a huge shock to the child.

When my 2 went into P1 they lined up in their lines and then I left once their teacher took the line in. We've never been allowed past the door or else they could have 180 parents wanting to do the same in the infant area.

Thanks Groovee I think it must be the change in structure. He seems happier this afternoon and we just spent half an hour going through his letters. Hopefully cutting out the football so he only has one sporty thing after school and keeping to earlier bed times will help and fingers crossed it gets better.