Letter to head about our nursery experience.

[Rowgtfc72]

Dd leaves her school nursery tomorrow, she wont be going up to their reception class as we didnt get a place. I am thinking of writing a letter to the head to let her know our experience of her nursery. The school is undergoing building works which were supposed to be finished for last Sept (still not finished) and as a result of there being no school hall we had no Christmas play, Harvest festival or sports day due to lack of space in the playground. These are first experiences we can't get back. I understand these were circumstances beyond the schools control but still , there seemed to be no back up plan. Also dd does all day Mon, Tues and Wed am. All the good things happened on a Friday, World book day, Comic relief and the Royal Wedding. Nursery am kids are not invited to these. For the Royal Wedding we even received a text from the school telling us our dd wasnt allowed to attend. Would it look like sour grapes if I wrote this letter or would it be construed as constructive critiscism? Dd loves the school and has made friends and learnt lots so it hasnt affected her but I am not the only parent who feels this way and am aware if no-one says anything the school will never know.

Neither of my dc had Christmas play, Harvest festival or sports day until Reception age or beyond (in fact ds never had a Nativity play). Presumably the days she attended were by agreement with you. Although might have been nice to spread things around a bit , perhaps Book week across the whole week surely with all one-off events, someone will miss out. I'm not sure what you hope to achieve by writing.

You can write it. Would it look like sour grapes? IMHO... yes. I suppose they may reconsider how they deal with nursery children that have such a wide variety of combinations. However, they also only have a certain number of staff and it would be very costly to allow children during times they don't usually attend. As far as building works is concerned, it really is very much out of their control. Again, other options would be extremely costly.

But when she starts school you will get those first memories, won't you? When she does them it will be the first time.

our nrsery didn't have a christmas play, sports day or harvest festival either. didn't even think about it tbh!

i WOULD maybe mention about all the activities only being done on a friday though, and the exclusion of other children from you, because that seems really quite unfair.
at ds2's nursery anyone is allowed to come to any of the events they have, but if it isn't their day to be in nursery a carer must accompany them (so they aren't over their numbers)

None of my children did Harvest festival, sports day or Nativity either. I don't think they are that age appropriate at 3 or 4 years old, or necessary?

I would focus on organising the days better to include all children in all activities, but not focus on the former part of your complaint.

My children's nursery didn't have harvest festival, sports day or nativity play either. Harvest festival they were considered too young (it is a service at a local church) and parents no longer go anyway - sports day they were allowed to go and run one race and stay to watch until they get bored but nursery parents don;t go and watch.

My children also went part time and it is just tough luck if an activity falls on a day they are not in.

most preschools DON'T do those things. You have the first of those events at SCHOOL to look forward to.

As for missing world book day etc, its just not important in the grand scheme of things, did you chose to send her 3 days rather than 5 mornings?

dd's school nursery doesn't include nursery children in Sports day or Harvest Assembly. They come in to the Christmas play at the very end, to sing one song, but apart from that we had the same experience as you - although she was there every weekday morning. All the other events (Book Day, Comic Relief, etc etc) were not aimed at nursery children at our school.

The reason I'm saying this is just to let you know your experience was pretty normal...and no one minded, as far as I'm aware...but if you have constructive feedback for your Head, do by all means put it in writing. I would just be careful to frame it in a positive way and not as sour grapes, if you don't want it construed as such

Comic Relief, World book day and the Royal Wedding are/were national events on... a Friday. So not really unreasonable to have them on a Friday.
I'd imagine that the text was because other people had asked if they could attend, or perhaps said something to imply that they assumed they could come, so they thought it would be better to clarify the situation rather than have parents turning up and having to tell them they've got to take disappointed children home as they don't have the staffing numbers.
Don't have Harvest festival or sports' day at preschool for mine. In fact dd1 didn't get sports' day until yr 2 as it was cancelled twice at infant level, once for being too hot, other too wet. She still has a first experience of it.

You havent missed out on her firsts, as she has still got time to do them. Also it is not the nurseries fault as to when the royal wedding was.
My ds missed out on the school photographer, he was at school playgroup, going up to school nursery next year. It is abit saddening but seriously it is our problem as ds did not attend on a monday when the photographer did the pictures. I wouldnt dream of complaining about the playgroup due to that.

All the other school nurseries round here do these things so we felt a bit left out! Yes, I suppose they will still be firsts for us, and I can't wait for them ! I'm not bitter that she didnt get into Reception we were not in catchment (though thought we were) and the school she is going to is lovely. Her teacher is very nice as are all the staff its just I feel shortchanged, if that makes sense?

I think it could sound like sour grapes at not getting a place in Reception

You should have spoken to the Head at the time these things happened

In my experience it is rare for nursery age children to be involved in Harvest Festival. It is so early in the school year and they are still settling into routines.
Yes, you've missed seeing all those "firsts" in Nursery, but everyone has. They are not events you "can't get back", your child is not the only one who missed out and as you said it is out of the school's hands; they didn't book the building work to spoil your nursery experiences.
Two questions to the OP

1. Would you still be thinking about writing your letter of complaint if your DC had a place in school?
2. What back up plan would you want for the children - walking to the local village hall for the Nativity? They would then need to go there a few times to rehearse - imagine the logistics and safety issues around that with a class of 3 and 4 year olds? Classrooms are rarely big enough for performances like that. And PE - can't take little ones to the local playing field. It does sound like sour grapes to me either a) you didn't get a reception place or b) the building work should have happened when someone's child was in nursery not yours.

FWIW my school has been riddled with builing work for the past 2 years adn the staff have made every effort to make the impact as minimal as possible on the children- the Head is answerable to the Governors

I would question why you didn't raise these things with the head at the time? Christmas was over six months ago, Harvest time even longer. So, yes. It does sound like sour grapes.

Complaining about Christmas in July would look a little bit OTT. Mind you - I've known someone refuse to speak to school staff for an entire school year over the fact her child wasn't in the centre of the front row of the choir of angels in the nativity play.

For what it's worth - in lots and lots of the schools I've seen (and I go in a fair few over a year!), nursery doesn't do the nativity/sports day because it's a heck of a long time for such young children to sit still with rehearsals and stuff - and also particularly with nativities, with kids being on full days/half days/mornings only/afternoons only/mon-tues-wed AM and PM the other days and all the other permutations going, it's the logistical issues of rehearsals - as well as the fact that again, they're very long and fairly boring when it's not your age group's "bit".

They'll be firsts - in reception along with lots of others in the class!

Comic Relief by its nature always falls on a Friday anyway, the Royal Wedding - again fell on a Friday (blame Wills and Kate for that one)... school can't override that really - I don't think the Palace would have approved!

After you've had a few more children and a few more years at school, no sportsday/xmas production/harvest festival will seem like a godsend

Thanks for your replies. Have chatted to loads of parents today after school and it turns out lots of them are more upset about this than me ! Yes, I would still write the letter to the head if dd had got a place at the school, they are never going to know what parents are thinking if nobody tells them. Pretty sure head teachers arent psychic yet ! Logistically holding these events elsewhere would be a nightmare and I think I would have thought about it more if my child was missing out on their last primary school events. School doesnt offer am/pm option only two and a half days a week. Did mention Christmas / Harvest to dds teacher and she said the staff were gutted too. Will leave it I think, dont want the school to think we hated nursery because we loved it and we would reccomend the school to friends, guess its just my take on things ! As for more dcs ? Dd is staying an only - not enough headspace for more !

yes i think you should write. you can say it all in a constructive fashion too. you can thank them for all the great poistive things but also highlight that you would have loved to attend events