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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

5year old reluctant writer

15 replies

verybusyspider · 06/07/2011 22:56

he's just 5, its painful to try and get him to write, he already has told us 'but writing is boring as its about what I've done but reading is new things' I can't fault him on his logic and am very pleased he loves books and is becoming an able reader, so how do I manage the homework and school expectations? getting him to write 3 sentences was horrible this weekend, battle and briary but earlier in the year we were told they were worried he was illiterate as he didn't write a single word at school and we knew he could do it so pushed him a bit more at home - I'd like to back off and let him be, is he not ready to write or will he always find it pointless? I know there's a boy/girl thing here with boys generally not wanting to write but the school system expects the same from both... any advice on encouraging reluctant writers?? or skills he can develop that will help him with writing? he is good at lego so I know he is developing his fine motor skills

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strictlovingmum · 06/07/2011 23:27

We practice at home writing little by little, try with one sentence at first, make it fun(let him choose what he wants to write) something fun that he did at school or at home that day and try to sneak in high frequency words in, in a non obvious way, he will get there, try not to worry he will get there before you know it. School is worried that he is illiterate?????he is five!!!!!!
If doing it at weekends and holidays we tend to do it a.m after breakfast. she seems to do it more willingly and she is also alert, I promise a treat, park, bike ride, going to the bakery, she usually responds quickly and wants to get it out of the way, don't stress him out, good luck.

isitmidnightalready · 06/07/2011 23:30

maybe try to write things he wants to write - just odd words to begin with? Maybe labelling his toy drawers or making party place names, just to get him in the habit, birthday lists of things he wants, christmas list to santa where there is a point and a product for him. Or is it the imagination stuff he struggles with? Maybe invent a game where he has to write the labels. I htink you need to coax him into writing things over the summer so that after he has written the names or whatever, he can get on with the game.

What about planning a tea party and he writes the list of food - you just can't remember and so he has to write it and then you only buy what is on the list so that he realises how important that bit of writing is. Make a big play of planning the party, writing thelist and then consulting it when you are shoping so that he sees the point of it.

Just an idea....

isitmidnightalready · 06/07/2011 23:32

Maybe the game of consequences which adds ridiculous words and situations to build into a funny / disgusting story. About football / snot / dinosaurs - whatever he wants it to be about. And show what fun it can be to write things down and see what comes from it.

isitmidnightalready · 06/07/2011 23:33

maybe making comic books with lots of pictures and just a bit of writing?

ASByatt · 06/07/2011 23:38

Why on earth is a school setting written homework (presumably 'to write 3 sentences' about something?) for a just turned 5 year old who doesn't like writing???

Sounds like the perfect recipe for putting him off even more.

samels001 · 06/07/2011 23:50

My ds (age 5) - summer born, so now at end of Yr1 can hardly write. He writes his name, Mum and Dad and very little else. He's happy! He loves little notebooks and pens so I am always buying him pencil cases, note books etc.He likes the idea of writing and does all sorts of role play around school, shops etc.

I do make him write birthday and thank you cards even if he copies out what he has told us to write. He has just gone onto the reading recovery programme which also works on writing. That is helping enormously but he still can only write a small sentence.

Don't get me started on the girls - they write copious amounts even now.

IndigoBell · 07/07/2011 09:47

Work on building his fine motor skills.

It's more likely it's physically hard / painful for him, than that it's really boring.

clutteredup · 07/07/2011 09:57

Agree with fine motor skills and just check he is holding his pencil properly.
Let him write really big and use chalk, white board pens and fingers in sand.
My DS was a very reluctant writer, hated it, as he had a good imagination but couldn't get it on to paper quick enough. He wasn't holding his pencil properly and hated the discomfort of holding a pencil properly. Year 1 he hardly wrote at all and in Year 2 they tore their hair out as he should have been getting a Level 3 for Literacy but his handwriting let him down. I tried EVERYTHING including bribing, shouting, incetivising, finding interesting things for him to write.
Finally half way through year 4 it just began to click. Someone recently commented on his beautiful grown up handwriting and I thought they had the wrong child He did it in his own time and now he's great at it. All children develop at a different pace, boys are notorious for writing as their fine motor skills develop later.
My advice is to keep it fun, let him tell you stories which you write down and let him develop in his own time. School will pressure him enough next year for SATs results but don't stress him about it as if he's like my DS he'll only dig his heels in more.

Kardashianw · 07/07/2011 10:01

Hey there
My ds did not grasp writing till a good 8 weeks ago he is coming to the end of year 1. He is one of the youngest it was soo hard for me to get him writing an half of the time he just didn't hve any motivation and then something happened don't know of this is an age thing of him turning 6 but the penny dropped an omg he excells in writing teacher was so pleased an from being jut 'that boy' in the class e is now being recognized for positive work and winning as before it broke my heart seeing him being pushed to the side.
The teacher definatly has her favourites!!
Let's see how he goes!!
Don't worry too much hard to not to as I am a big worrier xx

Original poster

verybusyspider · 07/07/2011 10:19

thanks for all your advice (and reassurance) - I'm not worried that ds will never write but that the pressure to and homework - all the class have the same set tasks to complete every week and I'm amazed how much homework a reception child gets! and its all concentrated around reading and writing, if it was maths we'd have no problem but I guess thats not key on curiculum?!?... althought it has just occured to me to get him to do more numbers as its still writing - anyway I'm worried by forcing him or even constantly bribing that I'll put him off and also, selfishly, I don't want my time with him dominated by a battle over homework, I want to play

strictloving - the illiterate comment was on top of a whole list of 'concerns' - I have other threads on his struggles (mostly social interaction and context - he wasn't 'naughty' but just seperated himself from the group and did his own thing) but to cut a long story short he had glue ear but I was told he was likely to have aspergers and the grommits wouldn't make a different - one set of grommits and pair of glasses later and he's a different child (I have to stress his NQT class teacher has been amazing and I think she was let down by the SENCO - but thats another topic!) I really don't want anymore 'feedback' about what he isn't doing so am trying to tackle things at home

isitmidnight - great idea about tea party I think ds will do for that and maybe even the weekly shopping list, he often asks for certain items or tells me when cereal has run out if I got him a chalk board he could write those down for me so I didn't forget - although I'm sure he'd learn to spell write coco pops pretty quickly

daft question - how do I check he's holding his pen correctly? if I ask him if it hurts he'll say yes in the hope I won't make him write

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Kardashianw · 07/07/2011 10:26

Omg my ds use play on his own an I was so concerned thinking why is he like that!
But what I started to do was invite some of the children at our house and then like I said when he started to turn 6 he got a little bit of confidence an now tells me he plays with children which to me was a sigh of relieve.

I do still feel soo sorry for him x

crazygracieuk · 07/07/2011 11:05

My 4 year old son is in Reception and also a reluctant writer. He will write a little at school as he wants to please his teacher but he rarely writes at home and has to be coerced to write a birthday card.

If his teacher asked him to do 3 sentences I would probably have to send the work back incomplete as that's a huge amount for a child who can't even form all his letters correctly. His teacher would be lucky if he did one sentence or a picture labelled with 3 words.

Like your son mine enjoys stories and is doing fine with reading so I think that things will work out eventually.

Elsjas · 07/07/2011 11:08

My ds (July born and at the end of year one) used to hate writing too. He is a fantastic reader and pretty quick at maths, but he used to get very frustrated with writing because learning to write takes so much time and practice however bright you are and he hated sitting down to do it.

However, he loves football and a certain football club in particular. So I started getting him to write down the name his favourite player, then the names of all the players, then we made a little book to write down the results or any team news etc, then the results of other clubs etc and now he can write very competently and has been moved to the "top table" for writing at school. I can't honestly say that he loves writing and he would still rather be doing other things but at least he will now sit down and do it when needed.

Original poster

verybusyspider · 08/07/2011 21:53

ok its interest - this weeks homework - crack a code, maths and writing done by 3.30pm and make a passport with photo, name, address etc finished by 4pm.... clearly none of the other work has interested him before class teacher said if need to get him to do sentences again just let him do it on the computer, I will now totally relax and let him be... well till the next thing

kadasianw - thanks for your kind words, in ds's case he has been observed by Ed psyc and intergrated disability service for possible aspergers, he's always been a confident child but displayed traits of austium because he couldn't understand what was going on in noisy school environment - when he faffed around in carpet time he got put to the back, not great for a child with parcial hearing - I'm hoping we are through that and he seems to be doing amazingly well so I'm keen not to get anymore 'feedback' about what he can't do this year!

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ceebeegeebies · 08/07/2011 22:02

Elsjas I like your suggestion about getting a notebook and writing stuff about football. Ds1 (nearly 5) is obsessed with football so it might work. Like your DC, DS1 is an excellent reader and fab with numbers but he wants to write but just can't do it.

Am at the expectation of 3 sentences at this age. There is no way DS1 would be able to do that - maximum of 2 words is about all I can get. However, I am not pushing him either as he is still young and school have not expressed any concerns although we get reports in a couple of weeks so there may be a comment in there

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