Wound up about homework

[chicaguapa]

DD is in y4 and gets her homework on a Friday. Cue a battle ALL weekend about when she's going to do it. Friday after school she says she wants to relax. Fair enough I think as we all do too on a Friday after work. Then take this weekend for example. It's a lovely day. Are we really expected to stay indoors to do homework or are we allowed out to do something as a family? Fwiw we've gone with the latter, but then when is the homework going to be done? She can't do it on get own, she needs either me or DH to be sat with her helping and it's due in on Monday. It should only be 30 mins but when you factor in the arguing and coercing it takes much much longer. I resent the intrusion in our home life tbh.

I totally sympathise, the more I read about primary school homework the more ridiculous it can seem! DS is only in Y2, so I am guessing his weekend homework is a lot more straightforward than your DDs, but we can have similar levels of resistance.

What works for us is having an agreed time for weekend homework (straight after breakfast, i.e. when he is refreshed after a night's sleep, has just eaten, hasn't yet settled in to doing any other activity etc etc) and a reward at the end of doing it (haribos ). We stick to that every week, so there are no arguments about it not happening - he knows that Sunday morning is homework time - and his reward is 6 haribos ("6 cos I'm 6") for successful completion with a bonus 2 extra ones if he's done particularly well/been enthusiastic/worked as independently as possible etc etc. Because he does it straight after breakfast, it doesn't clash with family outings/social events - at weekends we eat breakfast around 8:30, so homework is typically done by half nine, leaving the rest of the day to do whatever we want to....

Of course this strategy wouldn't work for anyone at the idea of giving haribos to a child straight after breakfast

I think a lot of schools start homework too early and consider myself lucky with my own children. DD2 is in year 3 and receives one piece of written homework on a Monday which she has until the following Monday to do. This consists of a random general knowledge question which she picks herself from a selection. Examples are "do sharks sleep?" and "what is special about the word rhythm?".

Recently she has had to learn one of her times tables a week as well for a test on Friday and then she reads to me as and when we have time/I remember.

I think that's more than enough and it's not so much she resists it - in fact, most weeks she has the general knowledge question done by bedtime on Monday because she enjoys it.

So - why not set a sensible time for doing it that suits you all (with a reward if she gets down to it straight away?), allow say 45 minutes where you or DH can sit down with her and help. Say "This is the time I can help with homework. If you don't do it by time x it will go back in the school bag undone and you can explain to your teacher why." Then carry through on it if she spends the time arguing, procrastinating. She should learn pretty quickly!

PS - Explain to her in advance when homework time will be so it's not a surprise.- You could have a discussion as to when that time is so she has some input.

dd gets some homework each day monday through to thursday and therefore there is none to be done at the weekend. I'd be a bit pee'd off if we had to do school work at the weekend.

I hate the idea of homework at primary school (mine not at school yet) but I think you need to be careful not to show your DD that you are resentful of it. If she picks up on that you are going to have a whole world of trouble when she hits secondary! As a secondary teacher I spend a ridiculous amount of my time ringing parents and setting detentions when homework hasn't been done and I do feel sorry for parents who have to nag their kids endlessly. If you get her used to doing it on time and without fuss now, you might save yourself more stress later!

Hope that didn't come across as patronising if you've already thought of all that! I am dreading primary homework starting and I totally agree about losing family time at the weekend.

I think homework should be a Monday to Friday thing, I just don't have time in my action packed, fun filled weekend to be sitting down supervising children doing homework. Surely not everyone has something on every night of the week for the kids to be doing. Also every 3rd weekend I have my elder 2 DCs home from boarding school and the weekend is when we spend family time together, most annoying when little DCs have homework, try getting one to sit down and do homework when older brother is here and all they want to do is play together!! Although must admit my DSs teacher is good on these weekends letting him have an extra day but then he comes home Monday night in tears saying the work through the day was based on the homework he hadn't yet done so now we try to fit it in, usually at 10pm on a Sunday night when home from the school run!!

Thanks. Funnily enough DH is a secondary teacher too and gets the most wound up about the intrusion. First thing is a good idea and I got DD to do it this morning saying that she'd have the whole day free of nagging. She doesn't respond to normal rewards, tends to dig her heels in deeper if she gets a whiff of manipulation. But we will keep reminding her how satisfying it was to spend the day not having to think about it. That might help motivate her next weekend and prepare her for secondary school.

Setting a time for it is the best way.

I agree that you shouldn't show her your resentment of h/w.

I do like dietcoke's idea - might try that one. Thank the lord dd's school mainly sets more substantial pieces of homework with a very long turnaround (so a 12 page project to complete over half a term) - allowing a fair chance of a wet weekend, but when we get short turnaround times it can be a real PITA.

(Indeed, dd was going to start on her latest piece this afternoon, but then got invited out for a long walk with her friend . . . )

Get a regular routine going, you will need it when she goes to secondary (if you think homework's bad now....)

Ours do/did primary school homework on a Saturday morning before clubs or after clubs at lunchtime or Sunday morning/lunchtime depending on what they have on. Or after school on a night when there is time.