Health concerns - please advise

[curtaincall]

A child at school is being treated for a very serious illness and all the parents have been sent a letter asking for their children to be 100% well before coming into school so as not to pass on an infection. My DS is someone who is generally healthy but has the normal run of colds and more than the normal amount of snail trails. He has a cold at the moment, which is fine as it's half term, but what would you do next week when he has to go back to school if he's almost completely better. He loves his school and I'm loathe to take him out and would find it impossible to HE as I work from home. I feel desperately sad for this child and the family. I genuinely don't know what to do as most of the time DS goes into school with a runny nose and a bit of a sniffle in the winter months.

Policy here is that anyone with a fever is kept off until it has subsided. 'Normal' coughs and snotty noses are ok. We don't have a seriously sick child in school though.

Tbh I think it's unfair on many children if they're not permitted to go in with very slight sniffles. Ds1 would never be there as he has a permanently green nose

Is the v poorly child in your ds's class? In close contact?

It seems a bit illogical that potentially many pupils will have to be kept away from school for the sake of one other child. And I've written and re-written that sentence many times to try and make me sound less like an uber-bitch who thinks seriously ill children should be kept away from other kids, because that's not what I think.

Harsh as it sounds I think it would be better if the school told the mum of the child that child x,y, z have sniffles, child a has a bit of a sore throat and child m has a headache and let her decide if she wants to expose her child rather than potentially dozens of otherwise healthy children missing days from school. Lots of common childhood illnesses like chicken pox are contagious before there are apparent symptoms and until the rash appears

well, if the letter says "100%" well then you should wait until he is.

I'm sure it would be a lot more unfair on this child if he caught a cold..

I would keep him home.

Imagine if the seriously ill child (presumably with a weakened immune system) got seriously ill because of your child - you'd never forgive yourself....

Or else, ring the school to clarify whether or not it is safe for your child to attend....

(Sure the solution might end up being the other child is kept home, not yours.... But if you don't ring school and discuss it you cannot guarantee that you are not putting the other child at risk)

good grief most of my class would never be in school!

yes but it is clearly special circumstances mrz

It really depends on the illness FanjoForTheMammaries.
We have a child who takes immuno-suppresent medication for a chronic illness and who is obviously high risk so we contact her parents when we are aware of any illnesses she could potentially be exposed to and mum decides with support from the specialist medical team around her otherwise most of the school would not have been educated for the past 3 months with one bug after another.

I agree that it is unreasonable for others to be kept away because of this child. DS goes to a special school where many of the children have serious medical conditions and we have never been asked to keep children off - other than the ususaul guidelines that every school has.

I think it is a "knee jerk" reaction that they haven't really thought through - will all staff stay away if they get a cold; what about other places the child goes to; the journey to school. If the child goes to the doctor or the hospital will they expect it to be deserted (after all most of the people who are there will be ill!) Will the parents ask their work colleagues to stay at home so they don't pass germs on to the parent's and then the child etc etc.

Of course the sick chiold is entitled to an education but I think that they need to be a bit more realistic.

Mum to a child with physical disabilities and "permanent" medical problems.

OOPs can't spell or punctuate today!

Actually as a short term measure I think it's entirely reasonable for the school to ask this. If a child has longer term health issues then alternative arrangements would have to be made, akin to those mrz outlines, but if the child is for example having 3 x 2-week cycles of chemo probably fair enough as it;s not long term.

If a child is seriously neutropenic medics would not allow them to school. However, many children who have had chemo/immune suppressant therapy are also low in T cells (even when their neutrophil count may be normal) which are the cells that fight viruses rather than bacteria-hence the need to inform the school re cpox. Whilst we know children are infectious prior to spots breaking out, because we know the sick child may have been in contact we wd give anti-viral cover to protect them.Just need to know. I would suggest that if a sick child does not have a sufficient immunity to cope with common coughs/colds/sneezes, then he/she shd not be at school. If a child is having cycles of chemo, their T cell function shd not be affected, only neutrophil count.

One of DD's mates had a very serious illness ( leukaemia ) two years ago when they were in Year 7, it had actually started before that.

We were asked to let the school know of any illness like chicken pox etc, so they could inform his family and then they could decide whether he came or not, or if he needed anti virals.

But the usual every day bugs happen all day every day, it would be very difficult tohave children off until completely better? Some children would rarely make it in.

DS1 wouldn't go to school at all if I had to keep him off for a runny nose and cold symptoms. He has glue ear and from September to April is generally a snot factory.

Exactly! and it's the same for many young children

I think you should send your child to school as there is no reason why you and ds should suffer. If this child is not well enough to mix with other people then he/she is not well enough to be at school. I do sympathise with the sick child and their parents must want them to be normal and at school but no one can expect that the rest of the children stay off to accommodate that. You'd probably end up with half the teachers off too!

Also bear in mind that for the children I work with having chemo and bone marrow transplants (ie no immune system at all), we would ensure provision is made for home schooling until their immunity has recovered suffciently.

Iwould phone the school for clarification, OP, whether they would want your DS to stay off in his current state. It's not going to meet the needs of many children if they are too strict about it.

I would just take your child into school as you would normally and disregard the letter. You need to ensure that your child receives a good education the onus for another child's medical condition shouldn't be on you or your child. It is very unreasonable for the school to say that your child needs to be 100% well to go into school, I would phone the school and seek clarification. The other child perhaps needs to be home schooled over the winter?

Thank you so much for all your feedback. It's good to feel I'm not on my own with this. I?ll try and respond to the various comments and questions.

The treatment is a few weeks course of chemo now, followed by a couple of years of long term treatment also including regular chemo.

They have said it will made the child vulnerable to infection and that parents should ensure their children who are in school are not unwell and to make sure they are completely fit. (The 100% bit was my extrapolation btw.)

The child is in a parallel class but the year frequently does communal activities: assemblies, plays, workshops, lunch, playtime.

To those who suggested ringing the school and clarifying, I will do that. I suppose am nervous of repercussions for many reasons if DS can?t go in, though would never knowingly put another child?s health at risk. It is a school of over 200 children with siblings at many other schools and nurseries - the ramifications seem overwhelming at present. The last few months, all the classes have been several big sneezefests as well as incubators for the various viruses and Winter 'flu bugs which included many of the staff.

" It is a school of over 200 children with siblings at many other schools and nurseries - the ramifications seem overwhelming at present. The last few months, all the classes have been several big sneezefests as well as incubators for the various viruses and Winter 'flu bugs which included many of the staff."

You are right. This has not been thought through properly by the school.

DC attend a primary school of about 350 children, there is a fellow pupil (about Yr5) who is getting chemo and other treatment for leukimia (been in the newspaper and all). For the last... 18 months or so?

We have not had a letter like yours OP. It's sad and my heart goes out to the child with such a dreadful illness at our school, but your school's request does sound... unrealistic.

As the mother of a child with a chronic auto-immune condition, OP sounds eminently sensible and considerate to me, thank you.

Unfortunately there are some parents who aren't and send their DCs in regardless and I'm sure that's the reasoning behind this letter. To give you an example, a D&V bug would put my DC in hospital for a week, whereas a common cold, well that's just inevitable I'm afraid and as ragged says it's unrealistic to assume otherwise.

mattellie - forgive my ignorance, what's D&V?

Pixie how did you feel about children with the usual runny noses and the odd cough but no developing symptoms being at school with your DD?

We never send DS into school within 24 hours of having had a temperature, but don't really know how to distinguish between a light 'snotty' cold including the odd cough, and something which could become an obvious stay-at-home situation.

I appreciate how desperate this must be as a parent of a very sick child. I also understand how others might find the situation very hard from another perspective - those who would lose their livelihoods (like myself) if they were to keep their child at home most of the time. I really don't want to sound insensitive and am deeply sorry if I do, but am extremely worried.

diarrhoea and vomitting = D&V