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Primary education

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Original poster

Girls Joint Birthday Question ???

22 replies

FuntoLearn · 05/01/2011 11:50

Hi all,

I am organising a 7th birthday with another mum from school as our DDs are good friends. We want to do a joint party at a local venue.

We are limiting to 20 children in total. If they had invited friends individually, most of these would be the same children as they all play together.

We were thinking about sending out invites as "X and Y 7th Birthday Party". This will mean that some children will be buying 2 presents.

Would you be happy to do this if your DD was invited?

Not sure if this was the best place to post... Any advice would be welcome.

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lovecheese · 05/01/2011 11:51

Yes, because if they were having separate parties guests would still need to buy 2 presents.

KnowNothing · 05/01/2011 11:55

DS normally has joint parties with his friend who is at a different school. So we do two kinds of invitation 'From x and his friend y' & 'From y and his friend x'.

Some friends know both children and get two presents but those who don't, don't.

In your case as they are all at school together I'd do it as you've said. And I would give a present to each girl if I was a guest and think nothing of it really.

Original poster

FuntoLearn · 05/01/2011 12:04

Thanks for your replies. Much appreciated.

We were thinking about a joint goodie bag at the end of the party - that costs a bit more than normal.

OP posts:

crazygracieuk · 05/01/2011 14:15

I would buy 2 presents and expect 1 party bag (not 2)

WimpleOfTheBallet · 05/01/2011 19:10

Yes...I would only expect one goodie bag...the thing with sharing is that it's all shared...apart from the boys gifts obviously...I would always buy a ift for both children....if I did not know the other child at all then I would still buy a little something..sweets or the like.

bitsyandbetty · 05/01/2011 19:15

One of my friends had a joint party and one girl invited half and the other invited half so they only had to buy one pressie although some bought two but it took the pressure off. I also went to one where both children supplied party bags so the children went away with two. Bit OTT I thought.

SE13Mummy · 05/01/2011 20:03

If my DD was invited to a party of two of her friends from school then I'd send two presents; one for each child. If she only knew one of the girls, say if the other child was an out-of-school friend, then I'd probably send a present for the girl she did know. If one of the birthday girls was a 'best' friend, and the other more of a class-mate, then the best friend's present is more likely to be something that I know she's in to vs. the class-mate receiving one of the more generic present box gifts.

One party = one party bag.

pinkhebe · 05/01/2011 20:07

when school friends have had joint parties at our schools, we've always been told just to buy 1 present and just put a 'from my child' tag on it. The parents then just divide up the presents and each child takes half home.

CameronCook · 05/01/2011 21:05

Our school seems to take the same approach of pinkhebe with just one gift divvied up between the party children

MrsMipp · 05/01/2011 21:58

From experience, two presents for a joint party is very irritating...

Assuming party is to for X & Y. I would do X invites Z. Then if Z is good friends with both X&Y then they can still get two presents if they really want to. We did have a joint party where they said just buy one present and then they'd divide them up afterwards. Unfortunately, dc had other ideas, and was adamant that the present we'd chosen was for child X and DEFINITELY not child Y!

Booandpops · 05/01/2011 22:53

I had a joint party ( reception ) and we didn't tell guest to buy only one gift. We had one boy one girl. In hindsight I wish we had thought of it as they got so many gifts it was obscene It was a big party as we were not limited on numbers. If I did it again I would tell guests to only buy for the girl or boy. Not both.

howtoapproach · 05/01/2011 22:56

I've had a joint party for my dd and also attended joint parties. I would just let people decide for themselves and issue a joint invitation.

We found that some only bought for the child they knew, some bought a cheaper present than they normally would have for both.

Just put all the presents together on a table, sort out afterwards, take them home to open so that there's no comparison, and don't worry about it.

Oh and get a cake they can share - rather than two different ones.

howtoapproach · 05/01/2011 23:04

And I'd definitely say just one party bag. And I don't think anybody minds what' inside or if there isn't one at all - really.

Cretaceous · 06/01/2011 08:10

When we've done joint parties, we've sent the invites from both children, but asked for one present only and specified for which child.

(I know that I've turned down a party invite for my DD before now, when it was a joint party and they asked for money instead of presents, as I just couldn't justify the expense! But then we live in a wealthy area, and would have had to give a tenner each )

PixieOnaLeaf · 06/01/2011 09:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

FlorenceAndTheMachine · 06/01/2011 09:51

I buy a present for each child (quite a few joint parties here). And "expect" one party bag

crazymum53 · 06/01/2011 13:21

The only time we bought 2 presents was when the joint party was for twins. But interestingly when they were both invited to my dds party they only bought one present between them !
Other times have just bought present for the child who invited them. Invitation was worded child X invites (name of my child) to their party which is a joint party with child Y. Child X gave a party bag to their friends and vice versa.

Eveiebaby · 06/01/2011 22:17

I would buy two presents if DD was invited to a joint birthday party but to be honest I would probably buy two cheaper gifts - it would depend really on how well DD knew the children. I would only expect one party bag.
In all honesty I think it gets a bit messy when dividing out presents and giving a party bag to selected children of each child.

EvilTwins · 06/01/2011 22:25

I have twins, and so they always have a joint birthday party. Generally people bring them a present each - some friends (and often family, who might be spending a bit more) bring a joint present, which is also fine. In the case of two children sharing a party in other circumstances, though, I would expect that one present per child is the only polite way to do it. After all, the present is a gift for the birthday child, rather than something given in exchange for the party invite

crazymum - re your comment about the twins your DD knew bringing her one present between them, I do tend to spend more when buying a present from my twins, but seriously, if you knew a family with different aged siblings, would you expect each child to bring your DD a separate present? I doubt it. And yet you'd presumably buy each of them a present on their own birthdays? So why the comment about the twins? [touchy emoticon]

crazymum53 · 07/01/2011 09:11

My comment obviously doesn't apply to you - it was one cheap present - still had price tag on it - £1.99 !

Original poster

FuntoLearn · 07/01/2011 10:20

Thank you to everyone for the advice.

We have decided to go for:

Joint invite - so 2 presents
1 goodie bag
1 cake
Lots of fun!
Our DDs will be designing the invite together (they are very excited about this...)

Thanks again all :)

OP posts:

OldAndUngraceful · 07/01/2011 12:06

For a joined b'day party, if I end up buying presents for both children, I would actually spend less on each than if my DC was being invited to 2 individual parties...

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