Does anyone with a dyslexic child have difficulties with other parents?

[itsasmallworld]

Two of my children are dyslexic, one of them severely, the other moderate.

The thing is according to the Ed Psych not me wishing they are highly intelligent with a very high mathematical ability.

Now both of them are at very competitive academic schools, and this has resulted in very competitive parenting. But also on the negative not only 'my child is higher than your child', 'my child needs more help than your child'.

Anyway my children go out of class to have additional English, and I've encountered a lot of parents saying to me 'there's nothing wrong with your children why are you pushing them to have extra tuition' and I respond 'oh they are having it for dyslexia'.

I've then had comments along the lines of:
they can't be dyslexic their reading ability is higher than their child
they can't be dyslexic because they are in the top sets
they can't be dyslexic otherwise they would not passed the entrance exam.

Has anyone else encoutered this ignorance as to what and how dyslexia manifests itself?

But, it is ignorance so there it is. It is indeed unusual for a child with dyslexia to have a high reading and maths ability - i think most people's perception of it would be that they would have difficulties with it rather than excel.

I think you need to just not take it on board, mummies are always competitive about something.

My DD3 had specialist help from age 6 when diagnosed and through the competitive entrance tests at 7+. Her very supportive new school has a fab SENCO who took over.I did get the odd snarky comment from other parents about extra tutoring for the exams when it was frowned upon by the school. I simply explained that at 6 my very verbal child couldn't read at all and the 'tutor' was a specialist who had her reading above grade level in 6 months flat. Some dyslexics are very clever, indeed. They just have specific deficits which require extra help. DD can't spell and writes phonetically. In maths, she confuses operations and can't manage large chunks of text or numbers. The school still photocopies any material on coloured or patterned backgrounds into black and white.

Either ignore the comments or explain- and leave them red faced. Your child manages to excell even with challenges.

The real problem is a general lack of understanding the international research of the last decade or more which has provided more information as to what dyslexia is, and how most those who have the dyslexic symptom have been compensating for their cognitive deficits from birth.
I am dyslexic, so are all of my DSs.

Dyslexia is about having problems with a man made communication system, the visual notation of speech, or the written word. And as such dyslexia is language dependent. It is possible to have a fluent bilingual child, who is only dyslexic in one language.

Developmental Dyslexia is a genetic issue, which means there is at least one biological parent who has some degree of the dyslexic symptom.
Developmental Dyslexia related abilities have been scientifically demonstrated to develop independently of developmental IQ.

OK. I see it this way.

It's not really people's fault that they don't understand dyslexia properly. Do you understand all disabilities in depth? Of course not (BTW my DS1 is dyslexic and doing well at Uni as we speak).

If hurtful comments are made, I try to explain, simply. Dyslexia is quite a diff concept to get your head around. To be honest, I'm not sure that I really believed it exisited until my son was diagnosed. It's a pain to have, but there are many worse things and getting extra time in exams merely "levels the playing field" (said the Ed Psych to me)rather than makes things unfair for other candidates.

You know what, if parents make sarky remarks that's their problem. Just explain a little of how dyslexia affects your child and let them think what they like.

Itsasmallworld, you sound so much like friend of mine. Are your initials RG?

Hi pippop1

If you want to find out information about any medical condition there are ways of finding information, quite easily to obtain some basic understanding of the issues.
So for instance you could look up dyslexia on Wikipedia which provides a good description of dyslexia, and the same applies for many other disabilities. If you want to find out more in depth information you can follow some of the research paper references or use an online research paper library such as PubMed using their search engine to find information regarding different issues.

Understanding dyslexia is not too complicated as it is about having problems with a man made communication system, the really complicated issues are the medical conditions or cognitive problems which can cause you to be dyslexic.

So to understand the underlying problems which cause me to be dyslexic, I have had to understand and explain to others Auditory Processing Disorder (APD) which is the cognitive cause of my dyslexic symptom.

A diagnosis of dyslexia is only a screening process for the many cognitive issues which can cause the dyslexic symptom, and all dyslexics need to dsicover the cognitive issues which cause their dyslexia so that they can begin to understand the real nature of their disability or disabilities which can have many symptoms including the dyslexic symptom

I've had the "middle class excuse for thick" line, from a person in one of my dd's sixth form years ago - he didn't realise dd he was talking to is dyslexic as also gifted and her performance exceeds that expected of her age but not of her ability (when assessed we were told when she took her gcse's she had capacity to do Phd). DD not impressed to say the least and put him in his place, that's my girl. ignorance is no excuse, don't mind questions, but silly comments not appreciated, I don't know about lots of conditions but I don't judge them. Another dd is very severely dyslexic and anyone who knows her has never ever challenged it as it is so obvious that what she attempts to write does not match what comes out her mouth, she is doing incredibly well academically now, which again proves the "excuse for thick" line wrong/ Wish people realised how hard it is for people with disabilities like this.

I've heard ADHD referred to as "middle class for badly behaved" and medicating children as "bad parenting" and "evil"!!
So if I am a bad parent for medicating my child for a non existant condition, then hang me. Now he has friends and achieves in school and is still my same darling boy - just one that can cope with life now.
There's a lot of ignorance around and ignorant people often choose to comment on things they have no understanding of. Rise above it.