School policy on behaviour, can anyone help

[ivorytower]

ds started in reception in September, full days from 8.15-3.30. I personally didn't think he was ready but was assured that he would be fine. His birthday is August.

We have had a couple of issues with behaviour at school mainly not doing as he is told or been able to sit for long periods.

I had a parent/teacher consultation before half-term and there were no concerns.

Out of the blue I get a phone call today from the school secretary to make an appointment with the Headmaster, ds's teacher and they would be an outside person who apparantly had observed the class yesterday.

I am upset/annoyed as not sure why this hasn't been discussed with me prior.

Is there a proper procedure? Just want to know what to expect and what I should be asking really. TIA

Has your school got a behaviour policy on its website? It should have a policy, so if it's not online ask for a copy from the office.

The outside observer is puzzling. Was there any clue about who it was? Do they mean someone who's not usually in the class (the school's behaviour mentor, say) or someone from outside the school? I am wondering whether, if there have been ongoing problems with your son's behaviour, they have invited someone in to make an assessment of whether he needs some additional support in settling into school routines. That isn't necessarily a bad thing or criticism of him or you, just a recognition that he may be struggling a bit and needs some help. But it would be odd to do that without first discussing any concerns with you.

I know the meeting sounds alarming but try to keep calm, go into it with an open mind, but seek clarity about who the observer was, whether they just happened to be there or had been invited specifically to observe your son and (if so) why you weren't brought into the discussion at an earlier stage.

Is your child in a state maintained school? If so, you should have been informed before an observation took place. You don't need to sign to agree, but you should have verbally approved it. They may get around that issue by saying the whole class was being observed and they just happened to notice your ds ... sounds like bull to me if so. It's also very poor practice (you may want to mention this at the meeting). If it's a private school, they can pretty much do as they please and you have very little say ... sad, but true. I've had experience of both. Regarding the observation, they will probably run through his behaviour while they were in the room. It will sound awful as they write down every little thing he does and says. It will sound alot worse then it actually was, I'm sure. You need to ask them where they see his main issues are, what their concerns are relating to theses issues and what they recommend you to do next. Also ask them to tell you what they are currently doing in the class room to help him. Try not to get upset and write everything down. Look prepared and take a notebook and pen with you - it just reiterates that you are a parent who cares and is interested. I've sat through several of these meetings and the first is always the worst. Good luck

It is a private school.

It was someone from outside observing the whole class. The school is part of a local organisation which is set out to improve education in the local area.

Well the meeting won't until January which makes me even more angry as will not be looking forward to the new term.

Ah. I was writing from the POV of a state school. Even so, I see no harm in asking why they did not (if only for form's sake) tell you about the observation. Do you want to push for the meeting to be held this term? Sounds awful to have it hanging over you until January, even if in the end it turns out to be no big deal.

I am just confused to why his teacher did not raise the issue at the parent/teacher consultation.

My DS1 is now in primary two. I'm not quite sure how this equates to England as we are in Scotland but he is only just 6 and is one of the youngest in his year. Last February at a routine parents night his teacher told DH and I that he was having difficulty sitting still etc at times during the school day. SHe said that in her opinion he may be hyperactive. I was quite upset and didn't really know what to say. My DH, to his credit, was completely unphased. He asked to know what strategies the teacher was going to put in place and then we were able to discuss whether or not we thought they were likely to be successful.

DS1 is now in primary 2 and his new teacher hasn't mentioned any problems with his behaviour. I think that he has matured quite a bit over the summer and is probably now just more able to cope with the school environment. THere are some child psychologists who reckon that boys find it difficult to sit still in a school environment until they are 6 or 7. I think there may well be some truth in this.

Good luck. I hope the meeting can take place soon.

Thanks jaffa, I have read something to the same effect. Even though he is quite literate and good at numeracy he gets bored easily and would much rarther be out playing on the field.

That just seems a terribly long day for such a young child. I think your first instincts that he wasn't ready for a full day may well turn out to be right.

Not much help - sorry.

Thankyou to everyone who has replied.

I will write down the points you have made and take them into the meeting with me. I will try to appear that I know what I am talking about.

Sandstorm, I know he gets very tired and his behaviour goes down ill. I asked if I could delay him a year and it was refused, though was allowed for another child.