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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

Changing schools help! :(

12 replies

JosieStephnJas · 15/10/2010 21:00

I haven't posted for years but hoped I might get some advice here! :)
My family are moving house at the end of the month, we are moving 6 miles away but crossing the border from England to Wales and moving closer to my workplace.
I have arranged for my 2 daughters, aged 8 and 5, to start at the school that we have moved to in 2 weeks, after half term.
I'm just really stressed out about whether I have made the right decision as we have only moved 6 miles! :(
The school that the children are moving from is a very good school and it is the one I went to myself (I dont know if that is what makes me biased!).
The children are both quite positive about moving schools but I feel like I am taking them away from their friends and disrupting their education!
I have visited the new schools (infant up to age 7 and junior til age 11) and the infant school is really nice and has a fantastic estyn (welsh ofsted) report but the junior school is quite run down.
What would people here do in my situation? Would you move schools if you were moving just 6 miles away? It will be more convenient for me to get to work if they went to school around the corner from our new house rather than 6 miles in the opposite direction from my work but I want to do what is best for them :(

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Tabliope · 15/10/2010 21:07

I wouldn't move them. I've done it and it didn't work out plus despite my not saying anything negative, my DS absolutely hated learning Welsh and it was a major bug bear for him. If they're happy where they are, I'd keep them there.

ForMashGetSmash · 15/10/2010 21:58

I live on the English-Welsh border too....I think there are some big differences socially and economically depending on the area of Wales you are talking about. If it is North Wales/Flintshire then you need to be looking at which secondary schools which will be open to them as they're not great there.

If not...well I think you have made a fine choice...6 miles is MASSIVe when it comes to going to a friends house for tea after school...it's not like you can easily get to and from the old area and friends is it?

ForMashGetSmash · 15/10/2010 21:59

Plus...if you keep them at their current school then there was no point in moving at all was there? As yu will be making a long journey still anyway.

Original poster

JosieStephnJas · 15/10/2010 22:06

Thanks :)
It is North Wales but the secondary school it feeds into is a good one compared to the one they would have gone to (but I am biased as I was bullied at the secondary they would have gone to!)
Where on the border do you live?

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ForMashGetSmash · 15/10/2010 22:12

I don't like poiting my city out on Mumsnet josie...I suspect there are some people on here who I actually know...and some of my posts here are personal...but hearing what you say, you need to be resoloute...it's high school which matters....primary school is far easier to intergrate into especially if you live close by. At 5 and they will easily make new friends though they don't see it like that!

You can always arange a few playdates with their old mates at weekends?

mummytime · 16/10/2010 07:17

Okay to commute them to their old school it would be 24 miles a day for you, all year! Now that might be fine in summer and even spring and autumn, but in winter with the snow do you really want to do that? It would also be more than that as the DCs would have playdates and parties on top.

I assume you are moving to cut down on your commute not to increase it. They will adapt fine. Some of the best primaries could be described as "a bit run down". Its not the buildings that matter as much as the creativity and ability to inspire of the teachers.

However I really think you are looking at all this from your memories, it is hard for you to move and you are projecting this onto your children. Schools change a lot, I wouldn't think any of my 3 have had the same school experience despite going through the same schools, and if they went to my old school it would be very very different from when I was there.

Good luck with the move.

Original poster

JosieStephnJas · 16/10/2010 18:12

Thanks again everyone :)
I think it is me who is more stressed about the school move than the children at the moment!
We are moving to cut down on the commute although we wanted to move into Wales eventually anyway and I feel it is far better to change them now rather than later when they are even more settled. My 5 year old has a couple of very good friends which I will invite over for play dates but my 8 year old doesnt seem to have any firm friendships and has been bullied recently in her school :(
The new junior school is 'run down' from the outside but when I went to look around all of the kids seemed really happy and really seemed to respect and like the teachers :)

OP posts:

egclark · 16/10/2010 20:25

hi i can sympathize with how your feeling at mo. for different reasons i am moving my boys primary school. y4 and y1. really not happy with current school and doesnt fit their needs but they are happy socially and i wasnt sure they would settle but sometimes us mums have to do whats best for us as well as them. kids are resiliant and adapt quickly. i moved 22 times in 20 years and attended 8 different schools and turned out fine!

Original poster

JosieStephnJas · 16/10/2010 20:54

Thanks egclark :)
I am feeling really bad about moving them, I feel like it's a really bad thing to do although they are really excited about the move, especially my 8yr old!
My 5yr old says she will miss her best friend but we are going to try to keep in touch, she is a very sociable little girl anyway and I think she will make new friends easily.

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allbie · 16/10/2010 21:05

We moved our girls, they were in the last 2 yrs of primary and had a real history with the school. They moved without a hitch and made new friends quickly. They have now moved to the secondary and met up with all previous school friends so now know everyone! Best thing we ever did...and the schools were less than 6 miles apart!

lalalonglegs · 16/10/2010 21:34

The chances are your 5yo's friend could well move away in the next few years too - primary school is very fluid. Your children are being positive which is the main thing and I think it is very important to live locally to a school in order to be involved with it socially - going to other people's houses for tea, doing after-school clubs and so on. Presumably if they go to a Welsh school they will also have the opportunity to learn Welsh which will be fantastic. I've just moved my 6yo to another school (about a mile apart) and she was positive about it and really loves it. I wouldn't worry - they can be very flexible at that age.

proudnscary · 17/10/2010 22:35

Hi, we moved 3 miles away and moved the kids' schools! They started this September.

We live in a villagey area of London, where my dc will go to secondary school (which is why we moved, to get into the catchment). So we thought it important they got to know local kids.

They have been fine, a few tears for first few days, but that's it. They loved their old school, had loads of friends. But they've got new friends now, it's been a great learning curve and growing experience for them. And they found it all very exciting actually and kind of relish being the interesting new kids on the block!

Our thinking, in our specific case, was 'they have a very stable, happy home life - changing schools is not going to rock their world too much'. And it didn't. Good luck,

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