Can anyone help me decide which private primary school? Need to make a decision asap!

[glitterdust]

So, we've decided to send our 2 DCs to private school, and to move our 3 yr old to the school kindergarten, starting after half term. She's desperately trying to read and write, so she's ready for a bit more than her daycare nursery.
We've got a school in 2 mins walk, which we hear good things about. However, when we went to the reception class, it was all just free play with several of the kids not doing anything at all really, and the teacher doing some counting with one child.
Then we've got another school - maybe just walkable, and their kindergarten and reception had much more structure, and were doing numbers, reading etc, and lots of fun stuff too.
Both heads seemed great, both have classes of 15ish. I don't know whether I should be judging a school by the reception year, but I just looked at the classrooms for the older children, and it didn't mean much really.
Any ideas????

I'm confused - is your 3 year old the older child, or do you have one who would start further up the school?
I would try to find out more about the schools in later years rather than just reception as you don't want to have to move them unecessarily at a later date.
FWIW my dd (5) is in year 1 at our local "outstanding" state primary. Reception has to follow the Foundation stage with lots of free play which, while being fantastic for lots of children, didn't really suit my dd who was already reading and writing before starting school. For her there was too much chaos and not enough structure to the day. Her Year 1 class is now very different and she loves it, going into school far more enthusiastically each day.
I think what I am trying to say is don't just judge it on the basis of reception, try to get a clearer of impression of what the later years are like too....

are there any other differences?
ethos?
religion?
fees?
where do the kids go on to?

Lots of free play in reception at our pre-prep. More structured lessons in yr 1 and very structured now we are in yr 2. I don't think you can judge a school on reception class alone. You need to look at the school as a whole. What is the head like? One school we looked at the dcs seemed scared of him. What are the children like? What interaction did you have with the teaching staff. One school the teaching staff didn't speak to us at all.

I chose ds's school because the head was fab - strict and a little bit scary but the boys clearly adored her. Also thought the pupils were fab - respectful but also a little bit cheeky. Exactly as I wanted ds to be.

Well people don't tend to choose private schools on purely the ease of travel.

What happens at 11/13? Which schools do these feed to? Are you happy with that? Are you in a grammar area and if so is that of interest? Some schools only feed through to indies, others prepare for grammar entrance.

Sport? Music? Afterschool care? Activities? Single sex v co-ed? Staff turnover?

I have one child at a singlesex prep: great at handling rowdy boys, lots of competitive sport/PE/games, great facilities for these, strong academic record for indies but doesn't prep for 11+. The other is at a co-ed which preps for 11+, does lots of extra activities, has good sports facilities but is much smaller, gentler and more of a family feel. They probably look similar in reception, but there are lots of differences.

And please don't assume that "private" either means better, or that your child will be stretched further than a state school. Of course smaller class sizes should mean more individual attention, but there will be times when you're just one of the class. Some private schools aren't trying to be academic hothouses. You need to think about what you do want. Have you looked at any of the state schools yet?

Thank you so much for the posts:
runoutofideas - my 3 yr old is my oldest child, I have an 18/12 too. I'm all for play in reception, I just think it needs a bit more structure than rolling around on the floor, or pushing some tractors around the floor...
ladymuck - unfortunately I fall between the catchment of 2 extremely popular state primaries, so children from here tend to go to unfilled places elsewhere. I'd be delighted with a great state primary, but we've made the decision to pay now, and I really think it's right for my quiet, studious little girl iykwim.
The school closest to us teaches up to 13 yr olds, so some go to boarding schools, which we wouldn't want, otherwise they both feed to local indies (no grammers here)
MollieO - I hadn't thought about the heads that much, but one school had an extremely informal head, who was lots of fun, and the other one definitely had a stricter head teacher. I wouldn't have said the pupils were scared of her, but she wouldn't have lots of laughs with them either..... She obviously loves children though, and seemed to know the children well. Is it good to have such an informal head or not?
Pupils at both schools seem confident, articulate, and pleasant.

You need a head that is in control and likes children.

I looked at schools when ds was 3. He has always been one of those children that asks lots and lots of questions. He asked loads of questions to the head of the co-ed. The head completely ignored him during the entire 2 hour private visit. I was gobsmacked as it had been top of my list. Also when we went into the dining room at lunch time it was very noisy. The minute the head walked in everyone stopped talking and all the pupils seemed to concentrate on their plates. Didn't like it at all.

Contrast that with the head of the single sex school we chose. Ds did the same. Head completely engaged with him even to the point of introducing him first when we visited classrooms. She was very strict but the boys utterly adored her and it was clear to see.

Choosing schools reminded me of buying a house - by the time you have looked at a few you have worked out what you are looking for and then you go with your gut instinct.

Informal might be okay if the teaching is good and there is discipline.

Private schools are now obliged to follow the EYFS. This is only since the autumn 2008 intake and so most are still settling down with it to some extent.

I think you need to look at the older children to get a measure of the school, as it is only Y1 and above where they can move to an independent curriculum.

Try to ignore noise levels and how big and strange the children seem compared to your little ones: all schools can seem overboisterous and unfamiliar.

It really is the basics: what is the "buzz" of the school? How do the pupils interact with staff, the head, and each other (classroom, playground and just moving round the school when they think no-one's looking)?

What provision is there for art, drama and music? Ask about recent plays, cancerts and outings.

Which schools do the children move on to?

Try to work out what your personal views are on what a good education looks like: how closely do the schools match. Is there a PTA and what does it do? How is pastoral care organised, and what is SEN provision like?

Is it an authoritarian school? Or is it responsive to parents?

What activities are billed as extras?Outings? How much does the uniform cost? Are lunches included in the headline price? (ie try to work out what it actually costs, not what the headline fees are).

Reception is meant to be learning through play.

They are obliged to follow EYFS but not the National Curriculum. When ds was in reception they had semi-structured lessons in the morning and play in the afternoons. Yr 1 came as a bit of a shock. Fortunately the transition to yr 2 this year has been less so.

YOu also have to understand that we are only 2-3 weeks into term so the reception childrne will only just be getting used to actually going to school.

I would expect to see a LOT of free play at this stage, in fact at my children's private school they are even using learning through play in Year 1 now and I think it suits children more in many cases.

Reception class shoudl be more abouit social skills than actual letters and numbers.

When your head gave you the tour of the school surely you saw all the years/classes. We knew exactly how each of the years was being taught, what facilities they had and how they reacted to the head when he entered the room (all positive of course).

I wouldn't even consider choosing based on a) reception or b) location. Neither were important to us. Much more important were the reputation of the school, word of mouth, attitude of older pupils/leavers and what school the children go on to (and scholarship record).

The 2 hr visit we had at the co-ed school didn't actually include any visits to classrooms. Instead we had the head droning on his study and by the time we got to look at the school it was lunch time (our appointment had been at 11am). I thought it was odd but since discovered four other sets of parents who experienced the same thing.

Butkin - your experience sounds identical to mine, couldn't wait for DS to join the school after such a great tour.

MollieO - sounds really odd. No wonder you chose the other school.

Unlike others, I would certainly chose a school based on location
If you can walk to school it makes life so much easier and pleasant for all your family. I turned down a place for my dd1 at a private school because although good it was schlep to get to and other mothers told me how most of the school lived in the surrounding roads. I didn't want us to feel like outsiders and to have to break in to that social circle at such a young age. Different entirely from 11plus, of course

And btw the learnign through play thing is offputting, it was to me, but it works really well ime even for quiet, studious types

Bear in mind you could be comparing the two classes at different points in the timetable of one specific day. Just because you saw free play in one doesn't mean it is like that all the time, similarly the other won't do maths/reading all day, every day! You cannot base the next 8-10 years or so on such a tiny snapshot . Did you get a feel for overall discipline, non-core subjects, library, resources, sports, staff teamwork, relationship with other schools and community and so on. Ask questions such as recent fee increases, staff turnover, specialisms , progression of children, how they benchmark and check progress, provide devlopment opportunities ....

Your child is THREE! You should be pleased that learning through play is evident - what else would you want for such a young child????