made an appointment with dd1's teacher for today after school, but Im not sure what to say . Help !

[Debris]

Be gentle with me , Im a bit tearful! My dd1 is 7 and has started in year 3 of the juniors. She is incredibly sensitive. Her new teacher is completely different to any teacher she has had before , and quite frankly is frightening the life out of her ! She is very strict , and shouts a fair bit. My dd hates it , and although hasnt been shouted at directly is fearful all the time in the classroom. Im sure its just a matter of time, and its early days , but Im starting to have real trouble getting her in to school. Yesterday we had a few tears , but she did go in , but today was awful. I came home and settled myself and decided to speak to the teacher. Im just not sure what to say. When I speak to dd about whats wrong she just says " I dont like the teacher , she shouts and she's so strict". It will probably just come to me what to say , but any advice would be appreciated. Thank you.

Its very hard. Remember that sometimes teachers are strict to start with to make sure everyone knows that they need to be good, but then lighten up once boundaries are in place.

You need to focus more on your daughter and less on the teachers perceived faults if your don't want to put her back up. Say your daughter is having trouble settling back in (despite being settled last year), and that she's also very fearful of being told off, and hope that the teacher can modify her shoutiness around your DD as a result.

I would agree about being careful not to 'criticise' the teachers style (for want of a better term)

Just say something along the lines of DD can be a bit noise sensitive and is very worried about being told off and gets upset by loud noises, like shouting. Is there anything I, as a parent, can do to help her settle in your class, as she is very worried that she will, at some point, be in trouble and isnt sure how to deal with it.

As checkmate says its likely she wont be shouty for ever, but worth mentioning you know she is now.

agree with the others.

You have to do this in terms of asking her for advice on how to deal with the situation. That way you achieve what you want (her being more sensitive towards your dd) without making her all defensive.

I also agree with the others. Say your child is a little daunted and how can you help her to fit in to the new regime. If you can take some encouraging words back from the teacher to your child, a lot of the fear might dissipate.

Thank you to all of you for that advice. I took all of it on board , and the meeting seemed to go well. Fingers crossed things will settle down. At least they are now aware how she is feeling.