Struggling to choose a school - how do you?

[Sallyssss]

We are really struggling to decide on which prep school to go for - none of them seem perfect and we would have to compromise on some level. Our children have different peronalities, but I would love them to go to the same school.

Has anyone had a similar experience? How did you decide?

Does it have to be a prep?

Basically to choose a school: Visit! Check if the head is about to retire or move on (be blunt, especially with private schools).
Is there a lot of children's work on the walls? Are the kids happy? Do they talk willingly to adults? What extras are on offer? What happens to underachievers? (Listen carefully at private schools, do they subtly push them out before 11?)
How easy is it to get to? What about January with snow drifts? Do you need extended hours?
Religious ethos, is it in line with yours?

What does local gossip say? (Especially stories of bullying.) If you hear something bad challenge the school about it; I know of two local schools with bad gossip that I wouldn't be too worried about (one happened 13 years ago, and the Head was removed from the other), but another would still concern me.

Any good school should be able to cope with a range of children, and children change a lot especially between 5 and 13.

So you have to choose a school. But if it doesn't work out do be prepared to move them.

Can't advise you on choosing Prep schools but we did have the choice of state schools. One is newer and is supposed to be very child orientated and when we moved here we were forever told how it was a much better school.

In the end we chose the one that is nearer. It still has very good results, a new Head, and has the benefit of being just around the corner so DS has all of his friends near by.

When we visited the school we were also impressed by the very caring nature there, and DS seems to thrive on it.

What are the compromises you are facing?

I personally believe that everyone would be happiest if they chose their nearest school unless there was a good reason not to. In other words, your default position should be to go for the one by you because the benefits to you and your children is so enormous. It also saves you having to make some sort of decision and therefore opening yourself up to more possibilities of regret.

PollyParanoia thats a good tatic until you are in the position we used to be in. Our local High School had a GCSE rate of just 17%. My SIL can beat that though, the High School next to where she used to live had a pass rate of 5%.

But, I needsomesleep, that still comes under PP's tactic - choose your nearest school unless there is a good reason not to, like it being crap!

Wasn't really disagreeing with PP, was merely giving some examples of why we couldn't choose our local schools at the time.

Remember - no school is perfect, state or independent, i know because I have children in both.

BUT the best bet is to choose each school according to each childs happiness. i.e. if one is not highly academic, then choose a school who will work them to the best of their ability. If one is particularly sporty then go for one with good allround sports.

I know this means you may be all over the place with them, but no child should struggle unnecessarily because a certain school suits their sibling.

I started out wanting co-ed have realised that the co-ed which has a fantastic reputation just wouldn't suit my daughter although it would be great for my son. So she is going to a girls school. Thats the advantage of paying is that you can choose a school to suit the child.

I saw 7 different schools, one stood out as best for DD and another two would be okay second choices. But I do so wish that the co-ed was the best its only a 10min drive from our house.