DD has shaved her legs…

[User0183749]

DD age 9, year 4, has shaved her legs and arms and I’m unsure how to handle it.

She has disliked her legs for being hairy for quite a while, but yesterday she appears to have removed it, I don’t know what to do.

Part of me wants to make sure she doesn’t do it again as she is a beautiful child but then also part of me remembers being bullied for years for being hairy and my mum not caring, I had to sneak a razor blade from my dad and more often than not I cut my self.

But she is a literal child! I don’t want her to feel self conscious and, as she points out, I shave my legs too. So what on earth do u do?

It is her body, her choice, not yours.

You can discuss better, safer ways to remove hair such as a ladyshaver rather than a razor but ultimately it's not your body.

I think you talk about self-esteem and concepts of beauty and let her choose. If she wants to do it, she will, just as you did. Teach her to do it hygienically and safely in that case.

My daughter did the same at that age after being laughed at by a boy at school. I bought her a lady shave so it was safer.

I'm always astounded at these threads.
Especially if you have been self conscious too at their age and you had your mum's disagreement, why on earth would you want to replicate the experience for your own daughter?
I'd rather help her shaving or finding other methods, if she wants your help, otherwise just let her get on with it!

part of me remembers being bullied for years for being hairy and my mum not caring,

So are you going to let history repeat itself or teach her how to shave safely?

My 14yr old DD has been shaving for about a year which is fine by me, I showed her what to do, gave her some options to try etc. She does shave her arms which I’m not thrilled about but thanks to my DH she has inherited his hirsuteness so I’m leaving it up to her!

Surely you talk to her and work it out?
My 13 year old likes having hairy pits and legs - I've offered to take her to get waxed but she genuinely likes the look! That's ok.
My 11 year old has been shaving her legs for a year as she hates having hair! We talked about it and she knows to not use old razors and to be careful etc... I will offer to take her for waxing when she's a bit older.

definitely agree with giving her the tools and reassurance to do it safely. I've always shaved everything, I don't like body hair and it is for me alone (even when single for a decade I still shaved everyday!). I remember doing it in secret with my dad's razor. He wasn't thrilled when he found out...! My 15 year old DD doesn't remove hair and knows I do, we are all different.

This massively depends on the actual child and the hair involved.

DSD has thick and slightly excessive dark hair on her legs, arms and her back and we’ve been using hair removal techniques on her since she was around 6 (us and her Mum) due to her being self conscious and at her request. Shaving, waxing, hair removal cream and we’ve used a hand held device to slow and fade her hair growth.

We’ve always supported her feelings about it. In the past she’s regularly had her excessive hair pointed out to her on a number of occasions by peers and she’s far more happy, confident and comfortable without her body hair. She’s now mid teens and able to manage her body hair herself completely. In fact the early techniques we have used have indeed made her body hair thinner and less excessive.

DD is 12 and has blonde light hair growth on her legs. She doesn’t shave regularly, hasn’t mentioned or wanted to do it regularly herself, but the last 2 years holidays we have shaved her legs when we are going away at her request. As and when she wants to start shaving herself, more than happy to support that.

You might not want her to feel self-conscious, OP, but that's not going to stop her from feeling that way. If you remember being bullied for years for being hairy, would you want to risk putting your child through that? She's growing up, and part of that (in the UK, at least) is the cultural norm of removing your leg hair, and some remove their arm hair. I would buy her a razor of her own (and perhaps some shaving foam), talk through the hair removal options, and let her try them all if she decides that shaving isn't for her. As she's already pointed out that you shave your legs, she probably doesn't see why you would have a problem with her doing the same.

I was also a hairy girl, with milk-white skin and dark body hair. I spent years hiding my legs and hating communal changing rooms for PE because of it, stealing my older brother's razor, as I didn't know that it would blunt it and cut his face. School is brutal enough for a lot of children, without attracting extra bullying about being hairy.

Let her. Life is hard enough without her feeling self conscious or uncomfortable about something that’s easily sorted. My dd is 10 and I shave under her arms for her because it bothers her, her legs not yet but she is definitely starting to ask should she. I just explained once you start it’s a job you need to do repeatedly so if not bothering her to leave them and when it does she can choose to shave.

Thank you for the support, I will speak to her this evening and discuss buying a lady shave for her if she would like to shave her legs and then discuss waxing when she is at senior school.

I asked because I didn’t know the answer, to me she is my tiny baby and the thought of her not being happy with any part of her body is abhorrent to me, to me she is perfect but if she isn’t happy I have to go with what supports her.

I get that you're upset that she's still young and has noticed her hair and doesn't like it. Growing up, I had a unibrow, moustache and very hairy arms and legs. I was picked on a lot for the unibrow and moustache and I'm so grateful my mum listened and helped me remove it while still in primary school. It's not a huge deal and it'll make her feel more confident.

I was not allowed to shave my legs arms or armpits, untill i was 14 and done it without my mother knowing.
Now i get waxed.

I was bullied badly because of it my mother didnt care one bit.
If i have a daughter no way would i stop her.

Does it not depend though? A girl in our class around that age did the same because she wanted smooth legs- nothing to do with anything people hate about hair removal, the hair irritated her physically

I was lucky that I started puberty quite late and didn't become hairy until 13. However, I went from having thin, blonde hair to thick, dark hair that completely covered me from nose down.

I shaved and waxed for 3 years until my parents paid for me to have laser hair removal at 16 all over my body.

If my DH and I stood next to each other pre laser, I genuinely would have been hairier than him.

If either of my DD's inherit my hairiness, I will be getting an at home laser device and sorting it out as quickly as they need.

This is so eloquently expressed. Let's all do this for our DD.

It is reversible op!

I wouldn't make a thing of it.