Mixed sex sleepovers - when to stop?

[WaverleyOwl]

My youngest DS has just turned 10. The majority of his friends are female, and every so often, he's asks for sleepovers with them - either at their house or ours. So far it's been one on one, rather than a group.

We had one at the weekend, and it was the first time I thought that we may need to think about stopping them in the near future.

He's a very young 10 - his current favourite thing in the world is squishmallows - and he is still very much pre-puberty. But it's only a matter of time.

When is it time to draw the line with sleepovers? And does it make a difference if it is one on one, or a group?

Isn't it illegal even for two siblings to share a bedroom if mixed sex from age 10?

The time is now OP. Still have the party but the girls go to sleep in a different room.

Illegal for siblings to share a room?? I've never heard this!

It's not illegal.

Probably better to stop sooner than it becomes an issue - they’re on the cusp of puberty surely, potentially 10 year old girls aren’t far off periods etc?

I posted then went to check. Its not illegal but it is highly recommended they don't share. Shelter, CAB and NSPCC all state that.

Of course it's not illegal

It's not illegal for mixed sex siblings to share a room but NSPCC recommends that after age 10 children should have privacy/their own room. So this seems like a good benchmark, OP. DD is 9 and I don't think I'd let her have a mixed sleepover.

We had mixed sex sleepovers until we were late teens - just part of living rurally, no way home so everyone just slept in spare rooms / sofas 😂 never any funny business! Everyone was comfortable with it, so it was all good.

I had them all the way through my teenage years and well into Uni when we used to all rock up at 1 uni a bed down with whoever was there.
Big groups of friends.
Mixed tent camping as well

I think that by banning them you can create a situation that isn't there.

I never stopped mine having them.

I don’t see a problem with mixed sex sleepovers as long as the boys and girls are changing for bed and sleeping in separate rooms probably from about that age (10). No boys in the girls room/girls in the boys room, socialising is kept in e.g. the living room. Had this rule with my DC who are now adults and it worked fine.

Is it because people are worried about sex? Genuine question.

Thanks for this - you are right, it does seem like a good benchmark and aligns with my gut feeling.

Not worried about sex at that age, just that I think that I need to start enforcing some healthy boundaries.

Also, in our case, it's not a group of boys and girls, it's my DS and one girl sharing a room.

I can see that it's going to be hard to explain to my DS why it's no longer allowed....

I stopped them at about 11 and a half. Didn't go down well but think there has to be a line. Dd and ds still have sleepovers now and again tho and presume they will continue to on xmas eve etc