What do you/your DC do in the evening at home?

[Flowerday]

I’ve got 2 boys, nearly 10 and 12, they both do a number of clubs, but apart from that, I feel they (and I for that matter) are spending too much time on screens and not enough time interacting in the evenings.

We do eat together at the table and chat briefly about our days during mealtime, and sometimes they will do homework if they have any. But neither child really seems to want to talk a huge amount - keen to get back to iPads or Xbox.

I confess that half the problem is this kind of suits me. I’m an introvert and also find it hard multi tasking so talking while making tea for example, I would find stressful.

Do you think I should impose screen free days in a bid to get us interacting? DH often not home til nearly 7pm, so by the time he has eaten he’s tired and also mainly wants to just watch TV.

Think it also seems a bit harder now we’re in darker evenings too...

What’s it like in your house?

We've started watching a tv programme together that we like. Not perfect but better than them being on the Xbox.

Ds is 12. He does his homework, does his chores (animals, dishwasher etc), does some art, reads, and then we watch TV together.

Thanks, yes, often we do watch something on TV together around this time (8ish) and they go up to bed 8.30/8.45. And their chores are mainly laundry related!

It’s probably not so bad and I kind of try to make up for it with holidays and weekends, but keen to hear from anyone who does things vastly differently or has good ideas for home based family activities that are enjoyable for all and aren’t hard work!

We have a range of ages from 5-17 and find board or card games with an element of luck work really well.

Even the teen will get drawn in to a bit of bug bingo or gin rummy.

Similar age kids here - dd 13 and ds 9. Between us we have at least one activity a night but try to eat together (not always possible but we try) and have a catch up. We have a no xbox rule in the week which works well. Kids do homework and watch tv together and sometimes we all watch something together. Dh or I will usually read with ds before bed too. I'll be honest though, generally week nights pass in a bit of a blur!

It's just me and 11 year old DS most evenings. General pattern is he gets in from school, does homework, plays PS4 while I make dinner. After dinner we'll play some kind of game and then watch TV together. He'll also piss about on his phone a bit, messaging and Facetiming friends etc. And he has clubs/training a couple of times a week.
The games are a lifesaver for getting him away from the screens. He's got into deck building card games thanks to a brilliant independent games shop near us. I quite enjoy them too! And most of them don't take too long to play so they're ideal for w weeknight when you've only got a spare 20mins in between other things

My dd refuses clubs. She used to love Brownie but refused to even sample Guides. Won't even try after school clubs.
Sometimes her and a mate come in after school for a couple of hours, do creative arty things or play on the p.c.
If just us, she'll use the pc, listen to music, have dinner and sometimes we'll watch a box set.
I wish she'd join a club.....i think she'd get a richer life. But she seems happy as she is.

Kemer do you go to any groups or clubs?

DD is 11. We actually do not have that much time in the evenings. Before dinner/club DD does homework, reads, watches TV.

I work Mon-Wed and am home at 6.15pm.

Mon - Drama, lesson, back home after 7pm, so I cook dinner and it's ready when she is back. Shower and bed afterwards.

Tues - Scouts, fast dinner as soon as I am home, change and off

Wed - will re-start swimming until 6.30pm, not home before after 7, see Monday most likely

Thur - we are all home after school, dinner is around 6.30-6.45. She can watch a bit of TV afterwards.

Fri - dance until 7.45pm. Fast dinner, shower, bed.

We eat as a family since DD is born so it was never an issue that end of dinner means bed.

She's knackered because she's an introvert, so she can chill in the evenings. She's on her tablet, I'm making supper, supervising DS2, then when he's in bed I'm on Mumsnet on my phone. She wouldn't want to talk to me, let alone do things with me.

dd1 is 11.
we do try to time limit individual screen use, but I think watching and enjoying TV together is a bit more pro-social (Friday Night Dinner is our current box set). Board games, sometimes a really hard one, sometimes something the 8yo can join in with. Play with the cats, bit of baking sometimes. Go for a swim once every couple of weeks.

Just coming back to this thread, partly to bump for any other ideas from people, and partly to share what I thought was useful guidance re screen time : www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-46749232

I like the idea of going for a swim every couple of weeks, think mine would enjoy that.

Also, hopefully a few of their Christmas pressies will provide some entertainment.

It will be good to get back into the school routine and I’m going to encourage bedtime reading.

Mine is a boarder so when she is at home either weekend or holidays she is usually with us in the evening.
We go to cinema, theatre, visit family and friends, any outstanding prep, play board games, watch tv/film, lighter evenings we go for walks.

You are overthinking this, my DD (10) gets home around 5pm. Does her homework, eats and then bloody relaxes! We don't have a T'V. Just her ipad with her youtube channel and stuff she likes to watch and she also does animations. Poor girl needs some downtime.

Only rule is reading English (she's bilingual) in bed for half an hour before sleep.

I also read that BBC report!

If you have a 'boarder' obvs you have to put the work in when they are at home.

@WendyCope does your daughters school finish at 5??!!

wendy

Gosh, we don't see it as putting the work in, and our other dc were the same and didn't board.
Evenings and weekends were family time, mine were never allowed nor wanted to skulk in their rooms, sometimes they'd play on a console in the lounge, no screens allowed in bedrooms as they are for sleeping.
Just how we decided to raise our dc.

Yes, private school in Spain, finishes at 4.40pm so home by 5pm.

If a child is boarding, I imagine you would grasp any opportunity to be with them.

No, I wouldn't choose boarding ever, but each to their own (I do all the English tuition at home, she would fall behind the National Curric. otherwise)

3 months off in summer though too hot!!!

@WendyCope 😮such a long day for a 10 year old ours finish at 2.20 🤣 I think 3 may be better though 🤷‍♀️

Wendy, yes, every available minute we can I miss her terribly, but didn't have a choice.
She is thriving though, so I pretend to be happy for her, it's not ideal.

I agree, she's done it since she was 3! It's when they start school, state or private.

All school here do, no half terms.
Hence... I LOVE the holidays!

Hence, she can relax after all that when she gets home. 2.20pm is lunchtime

My 8yo finishes school at 5pm and has training for his sport 4 nights a week (and more at the weekend) so we have very little time at home during term time.

However, I have also noticed us slipping into a habit of not talking much so I have bought some conversation starter cards to use while eating and in the car etc. The cards make him more willing because he thinks it's a game- whereas actually we are just having a conversation!

I am so pleased she is thriving Romany I would not be able to cope with it... which makes me worry about in 8 short years time...

One thing for sure is she will be independent and confident, which is a rare thing.

@WendyCope absolutely!!! She definitely deserves to chill out!!👍👍