11 year old doesn't want to invite anyone to birthday

[moaningminnie123]

So for ds 12th birthday we are planning to take him to a local dry ski slope for a tobogganing session. I have asked he who he would like to invite along and he has told me "to be honest no one". I know he is being picked on by some of the "cool" kids at school but he does have friends, I don't understand why he doesn't want to ask them along?!!! Should I be worried or is this just him being hormonal?!!! Apparently the world hates him and his life is awful so is this just another side effect of puberty?

DD 10 doesn't want to invite anyone to her 11th birthday. She just doesn't want to.

I've had 3 teens / 11 - 12 yr olds at different times. It hasn't been customary to have parties for birthdays. Maybe it is the same in his secondary school ?

I think its normal to have a couple of years like this for a lot of teens. When I was 12 I wanted no party as I was 'too old for parties now' lol!!
But I was back to going to the cinema with friends on my 14th.

Neither of my dds were all that keen on birthday parties. We had some when they were little, but mostly they opted for an outing or treat of some kind. It's not a big deal, and it's surely up to your son to have what he wants on his own birthday? I'd just be happy that he still wants to go out with his parents - that won't last much longer, so enjoy it while you can!

Thanks, I guess I'm just worrying too much! It will be lovely to have a family day out and it is up to him :)

Ds1 refused to have a 12th birthday party - I think it’s down to being the 1st year of secondary and not quite knowing who to invite, what’s ‘cool’...ds said to us he doesn’t like the inviting part because someone is always left out and he feels really self conscious about it - maybe in case people say no?
I took him to a concert and we had a family meal. It was lovely 😊

I had a great group of friends throughout school but I never wanted to do stuff like that for my birthday. I refused after the age of 5 to have another birthday party! Just let him be as long as you know he does have friends.

I had a phase like this between about 9 and 14. Extremely self concious and very anxious and couldn't quite cope with the thought of having my friends who I was trying to impress around my family, or being even remotely the centre of attention. Odd I know, but I grew out of it. Even now though I guess I kind of go in to panic mode when people are celebrating for my birthday - it feels like such a pressure to have a good time!

Yep, it’s probably starting secondary school and not knowing what the ‘done thing’ is, i.e. who to invite and what to do.

But that also means he wants to spend time with his family. Be happy that he wants to spend his birthday with you! You can still do the same activity as a family if that’s what he wants to do.

My dcs were like this.

Have a nice family day instead.