12 yr old DS bumfluff - shave/bleach/leave?

[Ringsender2]

my 12 yo (just) DS has fairly prominent dark hair on his upper lip, which he sometimes and variably feels a bit self-conscious about. It also 'closes up' his face compared to his hairless peers. We come from a darkish family on both sides, and I had upper lip hair as an 11 yo+ girl.

Anyway, we'll leave it up to him, but I wondered did anyone have any thoughts or knowledge about the best way to defuzz if he wishes? I have this mental block against him shaving at age 12, but don't know what else to suggest to reduce the appearance of dark upper lip hair.

Also, if he does shave it (cringe), at this wispy stage, how long would it take to grow back, how long would it last between shaves, and would he have stubble?

thanks in advance! want to support DS as much as possible with practical advice that suits him, but find it so sad that he could be looking back at one of his milestones (shaving) as having started so early. Aargh!

Ds started at 14. His first shave made me want to cry but it makes him feel like a man. He shaves about once a month at the moment.

If he shaves it it'll take a while to grow back and it doesn't leave stubble if it's only bumfluff, it's too fine for that. DH is Cypriot so we've been through it with DS1 (DS2 inherited the looks but not the hirsuteness!) He put it off for ages, but tbh he just looked grubby all the time, so in the end he shaved it. Wasn't much of a milestone as he didn't tell anyone, just pinched one of DH's razors. Even now (at 18) he's hairy in patches - no hipster beards here, but shaves every couple of days.

(just asked, he said he defluffed every other week or so)

I would let him shave if that is what he wants to do. If it was your 12 year old dd what would you do?

Wax it for him.

I would suggest not a problem to let him shave it when he is ready. It'll move from embarrassing to a status thing among his peers. My guess it'll be a while before it becomes regular

I got the most simple Philips shaver for ds1 when he was 13, much easier than wet shaving when they just have a little bit of fluff.

Ds2 is also 12 and could do with doing the same - he's got the same shaver but is vvv reluctant to use it. He will at least let me attack his monobrow.....

thanks all for the advice. I might get him an electric thing. It's a halfway house to the razor and 'proper' shaving.

I think I'll leave the waxing alone. He'll end up with a mighty weird pattern of facial hair if I remove the bit above his lip. Thinking kind of pilgrim fathers or something. Not to mention I'd have to peel him off the ceiling.

yes to a PP - he looks grubby, which is what bothers me. I think for him it's that he's (seemingly) further ahead in puberty than his peers and feels self-conscious in that regard sometimes.

Again, ds2 is v similar - his voice went last year, he's shot up compared to his mates and the body hair is growing thick and fast.

He goes through phases where his personal hygiene is iffy (and whiffy...) which can be a problem as he plays a lot of rugby. On the other hand, suddenly being bigger and stronger has helped his game no end

ds is quite small (not very, but his friends are growing taller than him now). Will his earlier puberty stop his growth or assist it does anyone know?

My DSs at that age had bumfluff too - they chose to leave it - 4 years on and it's still not a full moustache but they do have almost a goatee to go with it.

They aren't bothered, they have a lifetime to be shaving daily etc.

My DTs are 12 and have moustaches too. I've asked them if they want to shave and they say no. I ask them if they want a moustache and they say no! I'll leave them to it! I think it's just laziness on their part.

My oldest didn't start shaving till he was about 15 despite having the bum fluff since the same age.