Mobile phones, ear piercing and going out!

[melancauliflower]

Disagreements here between me and ex.

DD is 10, going in to year six. She is one of the younger ones as birthday in July. She desperately wants a phone as "all" her friends have one. I think it's time but dad says no. We agreed when she was about 3 that phones, ear piercing and going out to town etc. Would be for year 7 but things have changed since then and I have altered my thinking but he won't budge!

I know the "all my friends are allowed" thing is as old as time but in this case they certainly do seem to be. She says she feels left out which as we know is life or death at that age! What does everyone else do?

Ear piercing, I'm ok with for a 10 year old - she should be able to care for them herself. But if she has to remove them for PE then it's usually easiest to wait until the summer holiday.

Going out - on her own with friends to town? Or to the park? I'd play it be ear and make sure I was available or nearby. (But my kids at 10, weren't interested in this, so this is just hypothetical for me...)

The hardest one is the mobile phone - mine only got one at the end of year 6. They didn't need it even then (could have waited until the start of secondary) but wanted to "keep in touch" with friends who would be going to different schools.

You say you think it's time she had a phone - why? What is she going to do on it? What uses will the phone have? To be able to contact her when she's out?

To enable her to be on social media? Are you ready to police the social media for her? Is she mature enough to deal with the potential fall out of posting photos, comments etc? Are you ready to deal with the fallout from her relationships which will inevitably become more complicated with social media?

I don't mean to be negative, it's just a one way path with very little gain IMHO at this age.

Ear piercing, not a problem

Going j to town - summer holidays between year 6 &7 or even later

Mobile phone - 11th birthday present

Mine is going into Year 6, and will be 11 in a couple of months. She doesn't want her ears pierced, but I would say yes if she asked. Going out with friends to town etc - absolutely no way! Phone - was going to wait until 12th birthday (soon after starting secondary) but she ended up with a £2.99 one sooner, because she went on a residential course for a week without us. Nobody else in Year 6 has one, so she has nobody to call though!

This could have been me writing this. My DD is 10 and we got her ears pierced in the holidays but she would now like a phone. Her best friend will be 11 on Sunday and is getting a phone and her other 3 friends will all be 11 before Christmas whereas she has to wait till July. She is also desperate for a bra as apparently ALL the year 6 girls have them. She has just started walking halfway home from school with one of her friends but my hubby is very anti any type of phone as we didn't have them but the world was very different then. Ooh she also wants a handbag for school instead of a rucksack!!