Discipline / punishments for 12 year olds

[bella1968]

that's the question really, I need to enforce the rule about no technology upstairs to both dd and ds who are 12. How do you decide what punishments to give for which crimes?

Be glad to hear what everyone does.

thank.s

What's the rationale behind the rule? Is it no tech upstairs ever, or after a "watershed"?

I think ever, they use their mobiles as alarms so I say I will bring them up with me when I come to bed but they are not allowed to take ipods/laptops up with them. I've been a bit wishy-washy on this but reading other people's posts about the use of IT for youngsters I wonder whether I need to be more firm on this particular issue.

The thing is, now I'm a single Mom I realise that I have to be more resilient and decide what the punishment is, it was easier when I was in a couple as I had his backing, I don't want the children to see me as weak and know that I need to step up a bit and do what's right for them and not particularly what is more fun for them.

I've already banned my son his it for 7 days because of swearing shouting and calling me names, it seems to have worked so far.

You can buy an analog alarm clock in Tesco for £2 so that solves the alarm issue.

Talk to them about the use of devices at night keeping them awake ( melatonin etc) and the reasons why they shouldn't have them in their rooms at night.
Try making a downstairs charging station for all technology. If any have been lifted during ban time then all that persons devices are confiscated for a day?

I put k9 on our PC and laptop and dd (13) iPhone has severe restrictions due to inappropriate content found on phone.

i think the technology upstairs may be hard to enforce. Mine have to come off gadgets at a certain time and removed from their bedrooms to go to sleep. Good luck it's not easy.

yes the charging dock sounds good, they have alarm clocks, I already did that, you know, my ds said he doesn't like the sound!! but you can't win with him and I just need to put my foot down.

I will look at the health reasons of not having their tech in their bedrooms, good idea.

thanks for your posts.

If there are any others out there that can share their experiences, not just with technology but other things that they have rules for and the consequences as I'd like to hear about them.

thanks.

Mine are allowed tech in their rooms but not for the last hour before bedtime. However they do have limits so they are not on them every minute of their free time. It's the hoidays this week so they use tech more than usual if they don't stop when told 'time to go do some thing else now' I 'confiscate' the devices. Apart from DS phone they are all family devices so I just put them away in a special place. Then they will go and find a book or even play with each other!

Mine have restrictions on use of technology in bedrooms and a daily time restriction generally. If they break the rules they lose the use of said item totally for a few days.

I don't punish my teenagers. There are no consequences - besides maybe me getting cross or sad. Depending on what they've done.

I just talk to them. A lot.

I can't think of anything they've done which deserved punishment. Doing something I've asked them no to do, doesn't require punishment. It requires talking. A lot more talking.

I have lines - and they know that. If they took drugs for example they'd be kept within my sight for a LONG time.

But for not doing the dishes? Or not doing their homework? Or some other rule which is there to keep the house running smoothly, but not a safety issue? Nah. I don't punish.

I treat them with respect. And by and large they do the same to me.

No tech in bedrooms at all in this house. It's always been the rule and is easy to enforce. I just take everything away. Hand held devices can be used in communal rooms downstairs and the study door has to remain open, it's got the PCs and Mac in it.

Tech is crap in bedrooms because of light emissions as well as content and the risk of being bullied, groomed or coerced online.

My Dcs are 13,12,9 & 7.

the rule no tech in the bedrooms is working well, ds tries his luck but I don't back down.

Thank you to all who responded.