12 year old dd told me I brought her abusive behaviour on myself by making her angry.

[Kiplinghoover]

name changed. I'm furious, she's been utterly awful recently. Shouting at me, lashing out, breaking things in temper, making up lies that I have threatened her. She has some additional needs and has hit puberty. No previous behaviour issues.

I'm reading the get out of my life book.
I've taken things away from her.
Sent her to her room etc.

I don't know really where to go from here.

Hi Kipinghoover hugs to you. Pre-Teens is not a good age as I am now discovering myself (own DD is 11yr and like Jekyll/Hyde at the moment).

I don't have much advice to offer but from your post, I am just guessing it is hormones kicking in, and with the additional needs you mention, perhaps she just doesn't know how to express it? As another poster said to me on another thread, our pre teens are experiencing all sort of thoughts and feelings with no clue really how to make sense of them or vent them.

Think what you have done so far is probably best way to go. Leave her to call down then try and sit down and have a chat to see if something in particular is bothering her (I know they don't always want to talk but anything is worth a try). Maybe promise a treat or a day out if she promises to improve her behavious.

Sorry it is not much - on here you most definitely won't be alone.