Tell me about your 12 year old ds

[Neverenoughhoursintheday]

My ds is hitting puberty, most of the time he is polite, loving, but he's concerned with the changes happening and doesn't want to grow up. He lapses into silliness - when does this stop? And winds his younger siblings up. How can I convince him growing up is a good thing. And to stop the silliness and walk away from his step siblings.

Is this normal behaviour?

This is the right time to get Dad involved. Your DH was once a young boy going through puberty too and I'm sure he'll be able to give him all of the right advice and make him feel better about himself. (Also Uncles, and any other male rolemodels/family members that he would be comfortable talking to will help.)

All Pre-Teens get a little bit sad that they have to grow up and the increasing pressure of his peers won't help the matter. The best thing you can do is as stated above give him some time with a trusted male family member that he can talk to about all of the things he might be embarrassed to talk to Mum about.

It is normal behavior and I wouldn't feel worried about it, reassure this to your son too. Do you remember when he was a young toddler wanting to be like the big boys playing football and you had to convince him that it was good to be young and the age you are? Well now you have to have a pep talk about how growing up isn't going to change who he is and all of the exciting new things that come from growing up!

Best of luck.

I was wondering what you meant by silliness? We are big on what we'd call silliness in our family- silly voices, jokes, bit of long standing pretending stuff- and this (for us) seems to have been quite a good way of defusing tensions and arguments over the teen years.
Winding up siblings sounds pretty normal, and worrying about growing up . I think everyone needs to keep talking, about what they are worried about, and about the exciting possibilities in the future.

My 12 year old DS went through puberty very young - his voice has already broken, he's tall and hairy etc. It's been really hard for him - in his mind (and mine) he's still a little boy. So I think sometimes he's immature/silly because he's fighting against what his body is doing to him - and I can't blame him for that. It will pass. We've had lots of talks about not being able to fight nature - I've told him how much I hate getting grey and wrinkly, but that there's nothing I can really do, just as he has to accept getting older too.