tone of voice in DS 10 ....

[HermonieGranger]

I am really struggling with my ten year old DS and his tone.

Out of no-where , I could ask him something, or suggest something and I get a sullen ok.

Its clear its not ok from the tone and then when I try to ask what is wrong, what would he like to do etc, he just says nothing is wrong, or its ok or sighs. I end up totally deflated.

Tonight it was a takeaway ( a rare treat), he said ok in the tone, I asked him what he would like instead or to just tell me what was wrong but no. So we came home.

He is happy in school etc, so I know its not that.

Any thoughts welcome.

Your 'Kevin' has arrived

Use humour where you can and don't take it personally.

It is wearing Hermionie, I get the sighs, the rolled eyes , the shrieks, the negative tone and the infamous "I'll do it in a minute" which of course means never from 12 yr old DD and prob have done for the past two years. You are getting an "ok" so that is something to hang on to. It could be worse and just be the sigh or "do I have to?". Try and ride the wave where possible, you'll get plenty of practice. Also, focus on positive stuff the does or says, if you get any and give some praise. Hard to remember I know but always worth it.

My 11 yo dss has been like this for the past 2 years! I have given up being cross or upset by his attitude and gone for the blasé act of "communicate or you get nothing" stand. far less stressful all round. he has had nothing on occasion along with being told if he is going to sulk he can sit in the car/go to his room and miss out on stuff. takes a while but the message sinks in eventually