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Parenting a preteen can be a minefield. Find support here.

Preteens

Is your DD worried about her looks?

10 replies

Anagallisarvensis · 14/07/2014 11:15

I'm writing a story about girls worrying about their looks and would be interested to hear of mums' experiences with daughters and image issues. I have two sons but youngest has just finished primary and I was concerned by the appearance of girls his age at the P7 prom - spray tans, high heels, makeup, looking 18 instead of 11. I don't remember worrying much about my looks until I was well into my teens. Mind you I was at an all-girls' school. Many thanks for feedback.

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Takver · 14/07/2014 11:22

My dd is 12, she's just I suppose started to take a bit more notice of her clothes, had a 'proper' haircut etc, but it's still very on and off. I still often have to censor ripped/dirty/wildly too small clothes and confiscate. She does brush her hair spontaneously now, that sort of thing.

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disneygirl10 · 19/07/2014 17:40

Same my dd is 11 just started taking a bit more care of her appearance. Brushs her own hair with out being asked. Wants to mess about with make up. Still happiest wearing leggings/joggers/shorts and t shirt. I expect all the spray tans etc are more to do with the parents!

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Anagallisarvensis · 19/07/2014 21:16

Thanks for replies!

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LastingLight · 20/07/2014 09:46

My dd is 12. Mostly not worried about her appearance at all and wears whatever is closest at hand. She just doesn't want to look to much like a girl. For special occasions she will dress up in her own "unique" style. I used to try and force her to wear something appropriate, now I just grit my teeth and let her be. She very rarely brushes hair without being told to.

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enderwoman · 20/07/2014 10:48

My dd is 11.
Her and her friends are into makeup but don't wear fake tan but that could be because their mums and I don't use fake tan.
She enjoys clothes shopping but usually runs around in her usual uniform if skater dress or leggings plus top.

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aubreye · 19/08/2014 20:54

DD is 7. She is so beautiful with long, dark hair, eyes that change from green to hazel to amber-gold and a pretty smile. She has never been concerned about the way she looks until a girl in her year starting saying that her freckle beside her mouth was abnormal and that her face was fat and weird. If anything, my DDs face is an oval shape with high cheekbones and her freckle/beauty spot is completely normal. I think the girl was saying this out of jealousy or hatred. I've tried to tell DD this but she was crying all that evening and now always asks me if she looks okay. It's awful and I wish at age 7 she didn't care what she looked like!

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bananasandchocolate · 19/08/2014 21:26

My dd (12) is quite into fashion, wears a bit of lip gloss and all that, no real make up yet. Hope that helped x

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springchickennolonger · 19/08/2014 21:30

She brushes her hair, but that's it. She's 12.Not remotely girly. I was very body-and-looks conscious from about 13, and I felt uncomfortable with my body and my looks throughout my teens. Still am, really.

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pourmeanotherglass · 19/08/2014 21:49

DD1 nearly 12 - not interested in fashion, dresses for comfort. Has always hated pink "girly" stuff. I worry a bit, as a couple of times she has said that she thinks her sister is prettier than her, but I don't think this is something that bothers her, as being pretty isn't something she values. She loves her denim jacket and anything bright green. She is starting to grow breasts but refuses to try a bra and prefers crop tops.

DD2 10 has always been much more girly, and has strong ideas about what she wants to wear, but isn't into make-up yet. She doesn't really like jeans so lives in short denim shorts with tights, or dresses. She is tiny (small and slim) for her age, but seems happy with her size.

They both eat well, neither seems worried about diets, DD1 is average build and DD2 naturally skinny.

Luckily, our primary had a leavers disco rather than a prom, so DD1 wore her only dress (from h and m).

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wtffgs · 19/08/2014 22:31

DD is 9 and obsessed with her weight (slender not skinny), height (lower than average) and hair (still fine and grows slowly).

To me she is gorgeous- strong, lively, funny with a wonderful combination of olive skin and blond hair which is unusual in a British child.

She has also been picked on at school by others who are probably projecting their insecurities. She has taken every bitchy little comment to heart

I don't criticise my own (far-from perfect) body in front of her or much at all really. I don't think all the air-brushed images help either.