No evening time with spouse now kids are up later

[Griftergirl]

Hi, we've arrived at the phase where our DD's (9 and 11 - closer to 10 and 12) are around in the evenings, with homework etc. Lovely stage in their lives but no time with DH. Any tips on how to manage this season?

Put a tv in the kitchen or another room.

Otherwise, grit your teeth.

I just change the channel on the TV at about 8pm and say "Right - my turn now". I find it particularly effective if you can find something that involves people kissing as this is just "yeuch" apparently. they soon go off and find something else to do.....

Tv and internet access in a shed at the bottom of the garden (BTW it will be you two who end up there so make it a very nice shed).

Could you not still have them go up to their rooms (or spend time in each others rooms) after a certain hour?

Yep. 8.00pm is my time. Bugger off, you lot. I don't care if you're in your bedrooms watching TV or sitting at the kitchen table doing homework. But I'm tired of kids by now.

And I want a civilized conversation with your father - in which I will probably use the words 'that fucking wanker' as I describe my work day to him...

I bribed DD1 (11) earlier to go play on the computer and then in her room as DH and I had saved tge last two episodes if The Following to watch back to back. We were both tired for various reasons so wanted to be finished by tennish.
She's delighted and £2 richer, won't be happening often if that's her going rate.

I got a second wind to MN though.

I am lucky that my just 10 year old needs a lot of sleep, so is in bed by 7.30pm. Yes I know I am very lucky

But my mate had children in their late teens, 17 and 18 and she had a 9pm cut off in her house. The "children" had to spend time in their rooms and leave her and her Dh in the lounge.

Her reasoning being that they had all had "family" time from around 5pm when the parents got home. Then after 9pm till 10.30/11pm was her and her husbands time together.

The children could be together, it wasn't a alone in your room type punishment, just leave your parents in peace. It also wasn't every single night, at weekends if the children were home they would watch tv together etc.

mine are 11 and 12, (and a newborn) and I'm dreading this. I can still get them in bed for 8.30 but I know I'm on borrowed time.

In my experience by about 13 or so they become total room dwellers or if this is not feasible they spend every waking moment out of the house.
Then when they are 18 plus you are in bed before they are

I find sometimes my two 12&15 hang about downstairs until gone 10, sometimes like tonight they take their tea up stairs and I don't see them.

Mostly I don't worry. Occasionally I suggest bed if I want some peace. DH and the DDs share much the same choice in TV, Top Gear, QI and DD1, DH and I anything scientific so we all end up sitting round together.

Any attempt to watch drama or detective shows sends DH scurrying to his study.

second the sending them to their rooms at a certain time. I won't have kids wandering about the house gone eight pm its downtime for everyone. failing that start enthusiastically kissing your husband I'm sure they'll soon clear off

I find taking over the remote and putting on News/Politics Channels seems to do the trick. Either that or asking them to 'help out with some housework seeing as they've got time to spare' - that seems to send them to their rooms.

We have turned our bedroom into a child free haven with smart tv, coffee maker, sofa etc. it's like a lovely hotel room. We just go up at 9pm and leave our teens to it.