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Parenting a preteen can be a minefield. Find support here.

1 2

Parenting a preteen can be a minefield. Find support here.

Preteens

DD (age 10) "moustache"

38 replies

mttum · 28/04/2013 13:57

Any advice please? DD has developed a bit of a 'tache on upper lip, as well as hair under arms "etc". It's not bothering her at the moment (as far as I know, anyway), but she'll be going up to high school in September and I want to be prepared for if she starts getting teased/bullied or otherwise becomes self conscious about it. Shaving underarms I don't have a problem with when she brings it up, but I don't think it is a solution with facial hair. Any ideas?

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mttum · 30/04/2013 14:53

Dancergirl, as I said in one of my posts earlier, it is depressing that this is even a subject for discussion. However, unfortunately, children nowadays seem to be more preoccupied with appearance than they used to be. (boys too it seems). She seems fine at the moment, and I don't think it is an issue, but again as i said I want to be prepared for if it does become an issue. I think my dilemma now is whether to bring the subject up or not. I don't want to make her self conscious if she hasn't thought about it, but on the other hand I want to give her the chance to talk about it if she is concerned but too embarassed to bring it up. Or am I just making a mountain out of a molehill?

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Dancergirl · 30/04/2013 15:04

Yes it is true that children are too pre-occupied about their appearances. In some ways we, the adults, only have ourselves to blame. You only have to look at this forum to see how we spend so much time on our clothes, hair, make up etc. I know the media is to blame in some ways too.

You are looking at the worst case scenario - that she's going to get bullied/teased. That may not even happen! Or she could get bullied about a million other things. You can't pre-empt every possible eventuality, you will drive yourself mad.

Personally I wouldn't say or do anything just now. Maybe she hasn't even noticed it! If she wants to have it removed later on then of course support her but in the meantime it isn't an issue as you say.

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ohtobecleo · 30/04/2013 20:32

Dancergirl while I agree with your sentiment, I think the OP is just being proactive in seeking advice. It would be nice to think that all the kids at school will be kind and understanding but in my experience girls can be very bitchy mean to (and about) each other. I think planning for that eventuality is a good thing.

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ripsishere · 03/05/2013 03:08

I think the OP is being great. It is depressing that women feel the need to remove their body hair. I immac my 'tache and shave my armpits and legs in case you are wondering.
DD is 12 next week. She started to pluck her armpit hairs out using two coins and use her dads razor on her knees (only her knees ). She now uses immac under her arms.
OP, have you considered threading? I used to have that done. It is painful briefly, but lasts a long time.

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mttum · 01/07/2013 21:36

A quick update for anyone still out there

A few weeks ago I got a message from her on the iPad (from her bedroom!) asking when she could start shaving. We had a discussion (a real one) about the pros and cons o f different methods of hair removal -at the time she was only thinking about underarm hair - and she agreed to think about it. Last week I got another message, saying she had decided she wanted to shave, but also her upper lip. Dancergirl, I swear I didn't bring it up!

Another discussion ensued, and the upshot was we have just spent a pleasant time in the bathroom with me doing her first underarm shave, followed by waxing of the upper lip (her choice).

I would never have imagined a few years ago that I would be doing this. Thanks to all of you for your help and advice, much appreciated

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LesAnimaux · 01/07/2013 21:43

we have just spent a pleasant time in the bathroom with me doing her first underarm shave, followed by waxing of the upper lip

Since when was waxing your upper lip pleasent?

Well done!

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mttum · 02/07/2013 09:30

Ha ha, well I guess it was less pleasurable for her, but she bore it with fortitude and was pleased with the result

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BerkshireMum · 06/07/2013 21:08

My dd is 11 and has had her upper lip waxed a couple of times. She asked if she could when I was going for one of my regular waxing appts. I was happy to agree as I had noticed it as well.

Niece, also 11, has waxed her under arms since she was 9. My dd will probably have her legs done before the long summer holiday. She has been thinking about it for a while and I've made her wait til she's sure.

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mttum · 17/07/2013 19:03

A quick post script.

I decided to show solidarity last weekend by waxing my back and shoulders, and had to get dd to help. That was a lot more fun for her!

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HeleneCixous · 09/07/2014 11:24

I'm reviving this whiskery zombie because my dd who is ten, dark-haired and fair-skinned, has the beginnings of a light moustache that was kindly brought to her attention by a charming boy in her class. I am now feeling guilt because I noticed it a few weeks ago and my own views on body hair are that you take off as much as you want to for your own requirements and no-one else's, so I would never have commented on it to her.
Is the consensus that a specialist hair removal cream for sensitive skin might be best? I don't want to give her an orange tache in places of the dark one and I really don't want to make a big deal of it for her by taking her to have it waxed etc (she will also scream the place down)

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CambridgeBlue · 14/07/2014 13:43

My DD (12) has inherited DH's hairiness and has had noticeable hair on her upper lip for a year or so now. She is very self conscious about it and says people have commented at school (not unkindly I don't think but still attention she'd rather not have).

We tried hair-removal cream but even though it was a sensitive one she could feel it burning when we applied it and it left her with a horrible rash - thank God it was half term.

We're both reluctant to try anything else after that so at the moment I'm trimming it for her with nail scissors. Could really do with a better option though!

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Tortoiseturtle · 14/07/2014 14:02

How often does upper lip hair have to be waxed? Is it easy to do at home?

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Dotty342kids · 15/07/2014 14:42

REading this with interest. My DD (9) has always had a noticeable 'tache as her dad's family are Indian so hairiness seems to come with the territory. She'd mentioned a couple of incidences of teasing so after discussion, we agreed to try facial hair removal cream. As her hair is quite thick I left it on for the full recommended time of, I think, 5 mins. It was effective and it's not come back as obvious but she really didn't like the chemical smell / burning sensation and has, for the time being, said she's perfectly happy to keep her, as she calls it "lip warmer"! Next step, I think, may be waxing as she won't go near the cream again!